I wonder if most people have something similar, lemme explain as I'm not talking about missing the having of a partner/relationship or missing your ex in particular, missing that person.
I'm talking about a specific quality they had that you shared, a shared interest if you like, and missing that.

For instance, I have an ex who is a drummer, professional lighting tech & sound guy. So he's very creative. Like me.
And phuck can I sometimes miss that part, that option to share in that area with someone, and understanding EXACTLY what the other means and is going on about.
As I play drums myself -although not nearly as good as he- we could totally relate on that.

Since he was a lighting tech he had a great eye for light & dark and colours, and could help me with my paintings.

That thing, that creative click & connection, I sometimes miss that so so very much!
And that has nothing to do with him, wanting him back, or missing the relationship.

But that one particular click, that creative thing, phuck, I so crave that!
So I don't mean missing the partner, or that person, or someone who helps out with chores, but missing that particular quality and/or interest you deeply shared.

Just wondering how many other people have a similar thing?

many many moons ago we danced as one. never a missed step or an unnoticed cue. plus we sang all the same songs in perfect off key harmony. still haven't tripped over either let alone both since then

Honestly I think that many most likely miss a connection they had with a ex partner.. Whether it be in the bed room to other things that you just connected with them on a different level...

Back when I had horses the guy I dated even tho he did not own horses at the time he knew so much about them it was just a different connection.. I do miss things like that..

I don't miss a thing. She is not my ex for no reason.

Exactly, that's the thing I mean!

I am not asking about missing your ex. Please read the OP, and the title for that matter.

One of my Ex's is a writer, has published romance books, he is a great poet ! I miss his input on writing. He traveled to many places and I learned a lot just in conversation. A real gentleman.

I did read both, that's not my problem. But if your ex drags you into a filthy divorce battle, spreading lies about you, etc. it is very hard to find the tiniest positive thing.

Oh, I can so understand that!
For me it's also mostly to do with creativity. I've been thinking if I had or have a similar thing I miss from my ex husband, but nothing comes to mind. He was creative as well, but totally different things.

Most of my Ex's had good qualities and some were creative, I am not!
One was a record collector and dejay, everything you ever wanted in music.

I was attracted to them being outgoing.. Generous on any woman they liked.

Not everyone has a fond memory over an ex. When bad aspects overshadow what good times one might have had with an ex, it's easy to become relieved when they say- "I want out".

He folded clothes really well.

I don't really have anything like that with anyone from my past, but I think it's a sort of accident. The things which I WOULD HAVE missed, because of the exact details of what wrecked the relationships, became anathemas in my memory, despite being fabulous when times were good. Basically, I came to realize that what I loved so much about the person, was also why they later destroyed me emotionally. So I CAN'T miss those qualities or experiences.

But I can very much empathize with the idea. If a person can be said to "miss things" which they NEVER experienced, but witnessed others doing, then I have a number of things I could point to.

One minor real-life celebrity marriage which foundered, I suspect for this reason, was between Bruce Springsteen and Julianne Phillips, these billions of years ago. He was a rock star, she was a professional model and aspiring actress. Springsteen left her for a member of his band, Patti Scialfa, with whom he apparently felt much more comfortable. I don't know, of course, but my general impression is that he DID have the kind of connection you're talking about here with Patti, but didn't have it with Julianne.

Another example of how "love and attraction is really NOT enough," I suppose.

Every human being on the planet...well, that doesn't have some kind of massive brain or nervous system problems.

All you're describing is what is ultimately why communication in a relationship is important.

It is what is driving people to belong, seek out people, be part of the herd.

It's the opposite of the feeling of ostracization.
The synergistic pleasure of acceptance, and you're given evidence through communication which is understood as the commonality acts as a Rosetta stone for translation.

Other than that, this:

is little different than someone trying to break the addiction of heroin saying "does anyone miss H? I'm not talking about missing a particular dealers product, or the addiction, the need, the aches, the itching, the money, but that thing that actually gives you the high?"

She made really good sandwiches.

For me, "Miss" is the wrong word.
I'm pretty flexible in my ability to connect with people.
I've had many connections with romantic/initimate partners over my lifetime.
Connections that were stronger in some way with some women than others.

I'm not looking for ex-connections in a woman.
I'm looking to make new connections that we share, together, just her and I.
When my 25 year marriage ended. I made the mistake of trying to connect with a woman in the same way I connected with my X. It didn't work.

When I realized I was trying to hold onto the connections my X and I shared and was looking for those connections in the women I was trying to form a bond with I realized I was being unfair to her and myself.

Then it happened to me. One woman tried to make connection with me to relive the connections with her X. That drove the problem straight home for me.

While I do find some similarities in the connections I now make with women I realize they are different because she is a different woman. I also realize that I am not the same person I was with any X's. I have changed thru wisdom and experience.

I know that any connection I make with a future woman will be unique for both of us. I want to experience new things like that. They expand my horizons.

The man I was talking about was one I was glad to see leave my life. It was an abusive relationship, and the bad times and things overshadowed the good.
I'm not talking about him, nor a fond memory of an ex really. I'm talking about something else. But I guess difficult to explain, since most don't seem to get what I was getting at, haha.

:scratching head emoji:


Can't think of anything at the moment.

Both she and I were very affectionate.. touching it's something that I miss most weather sitting on the couch and rubbing her back or she would lay on my chest while watching TV and lightly scratching my arm or side.. laying beside each other and rubbing feet... I miss that reciprocation

I've dated and found myself doing these things and expecting it in return... This used to be so natural what how do you explain this to someone?