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| Topic: Men .... women | |
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I was reading something similar a few days ago. Early men and women were equal, say scientists http://www.theguardian.com/science/2015/may/14/early-men-women-equal-scientists Study shows that modern hunter-gatherer tribes operate on egalitarian basis, suggesting inequality was an aberration that came with the advent of agriculture
“Sexual equality is one of a important suite of changes to social organization, including things like pair-bonding, our big, social brains, and language, that distinguishes humans” When only one sex had influence over the process, as is typically the case in male-dominated pastoral or horticultural societies, tight hubs of related individuals emerged.
The findings appear to be supported by qualitative observations of the hunter-gatherer groups in the study. In the Philippines population, women are involved in hunting and honey collecting and while there is still a division of labor, overall men and women contribute a similar number of calories to the camp. In both groups, monogamy is the norm and men are active in childcare. I don't think the communication problems are gender driven. In most relationships the talking and acting fluctuates. I think the problems arise when one gender tries to live up to the hype of stereotypes. When someone is constantly driven to "Be A Man" or "Be A Woman" it widens the gap. Men can 'very much' be sensitive and women can 'very much' be productive. I have witnessed it first hand. Communication, honest communication is what causes relationships to last longer. But not 'just' communication. Learning to understand the other and accept the other is also vital. Tom  that was quite an interesting read specially as I saw Philippines . Please share where is that article from? In our country most are still conservative and women just follow the decision of their men to the point that cheating is accepted as long as the husband goes home to the wife  some extreme communication there right? But I am glad that a lot of Filipinas don’t put up with it nowadays and wives are allowed to have a career of their choice too. Here in mingle I feel there are more open minded people that’s why I enjoy communicating my thoughts. 
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Men and women are different. We speak differently Think differently Act differently And expect different outcomes from the same realities. All those differences highlights our qualities and faults. Those differences are to be celebrated in a spirit of inclusiveness, not bemoaned as something to be changed or controlled. ^^^This! I agree, I believe we're the way we are and different for a reason. It's not about changing how someone thinks, feels, reacts to something so that we can get along better and have lasting relationships... It's about celebrating those differences, embracing them and the challenge of making it last comes with learning about each other, respecting who and what each of us are, and discovering a way to make it shine rather than letting it tear us apart. And I agree too sis
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Men feel thus they act whereas women feel thus most of the time we talk  if men talk more rather than act , don’t you think relationships will last longer? Or if women act more rather than talk, life would be more peaceful? Lol.
I am not sure what the question is. If you are asking about a reversal of 'roles' where the men would talk and the women would act, we would have the same endgame. If you are asking about men being more like women, and both 'talking', nothing would get done. If you are asking about women being more like men and both 'acting', than noone would make real emotional connections. I think it is best when they compliment each other and understand what their partners strengths and weaknesses are so they can work with them. Very well said msharmony ... you have answered all the aspects /sides of my questions . Thanks
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Men and women are different. We speak differently Think differently Act differently And expect different outcomes from the same realities. All those differences highlights our qualities and faults. Those differences are to be celebrated in a spirit of inclusiveness, not bemoaned as something to be changed or controlled. Rooster  I am not complaining. I am just in my usual curiosity mode. I agree with your thoughts . In our differences we find solace and in our differences we complement. Opposites do attract but don’t you think similarities are a very good thing too
I didn't think you were complaining at all. Similarities are great too, of course, and as Human Beings it's obvious that we will have similarities. The way I see it is we're all sisters and brothers and siblings don't always get along but, hopefully, the family bonds are stronger than arguments, pride and petty differences. Thank you
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Thank you
You're welcome
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I was reading something similar a few days ago. Early men and women were equal, say scientists http://www.theguardian.com/science/2015/may/14/early-men-women-equal-scientists Study shows that modern hunter-gatherer tribes operate on egalitarian basis, suggesting inequality was an aberration that came with the advent of agriculture
“Sexual equality is one of a important suite of changes to social organization, including things like pair-bonding, our big, social brains, and language, that distinguishes humans” When only one sex had influence over the process, as is typically the case in male-dominated pastoral or horticultural societies, tight hubs of related individuals emerged.
The findings appear to be supported by qualitative observations of the hunter-gatherer groups in the study. In the Philippines population, women are involved in hunting and honey collecting and while there is still a division of labor, overall men and women contribute a similar number of calories to the camp. In both groups, monogamy is the norm and men are active in childcare. I don't think the communication problems are gender driven. In most relationships the talking and acting fluctuates. I think the problems arise when one gender tries to live up to the hype of stereotypes. When someone is constantly driven to "Be A Man" or "Be A Woman" it widens the gap. Men can 'very much' be sensitive and women can 'very much' be productive. I have witnessed it first hand. Communication, honest communication is what causes relationships to last longer. But not 'just' communication. Learning to understand the other and accept the other is also vital. Tom that was quite an interesting read specially as I saw Philippines . Please share where is that article from? In our country most are still conservative and women just follow the decision of their men to the point that cheating is accepted as long as the husband goes home to the wife some extreme communication there right? But I am glad that a lot of Filipinas don’t put up with it nowadays and wives are allowed to have a career of their choice too. Here in mingle I feel there are more open minded people that’s why I enjoy communicating my thoughts. SSM, I added a link to the article. Its The Guardian .com where I read the article. Topics: Anthropology, Gender, Women, Evolution, news ~ US Edition The Original Article source is: http://science.sciencemag.org/content/348/6236/796 |
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There seems to be a major difference in the use of the English language between men and women. Women use many more words and try to make their message softer but often with more emotion. It is like the difference between a politician and an engineer describing something. One makes a clear statement while the other uses a lot of words to say almost nothing. Thus one of the causes for a failure to communicate.
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I'm sure there's a Caveman Bob story in this somewhere?
Before the advent of agriculture, Paleolithic humans had little control of the environment, so they focused on staking out territory and negotiating relationships with nearby communities. Eventually, groups created small, temporary settlements, often near bodies of water. These settlements allowed for division of labor, and labor was often divided along gender lines, with women doing much of the gathering, cooking, and child-rearing and men doing much of the hunting, though this was certainly not the case across all Paleolithic societies. For example, some archaeological evidence suggests that Middle Paleolithic cultures in Eurasia split work fairly equally between men and women.
Source ~ http://www.khanacademy.org/humanities/world-history/world-history-beginnings/origin-humans-early-societies/a/what-were-paleolithic-societies-like The women would gather seeds, nuts, wild plants and they would also cook, make clothes and take care of their children. The men would hunt and paint on cave walls. A religion by their art on cave walls.
Source ~ http://prezi.com/foasr5v7voxk/what-was-the-role-of-men-and-women-in-the-stone-age/ So basically, The women kept the camp. The men supplied the camp with meat and invented religion. Men needed to know how to make spears to hunt. Use pigments to paint. Track their quarry. Know how to handle threats from predators. They had an aggressive stance. Women had to know how to gather berries and fruits. Make clothes from the pelts of the food animals. Prepare food. But most importantly they gave the camps a sense of family. They reared the children and dealt with the psychological swings of others to maintain balance. A mere 100 years ago most women were doing pretty much the same thing. Most school teachers were women. Nurses were women. A nurse doesn't just assist the doctor, they maintain psychological balance too. Recently (the last 50 years or so) the gender lines have been getting crossed in modern societies. That is because as a species human beings are growing. Strict gender roles are now outdated because of our societal development. There's turmoil because we have had distinct gender roles a lot longer than our mixed roles now. We're still relatively new at it. As new generations emerge, it will be more widely accepted. Some societies are quite ancient. The older a society, the more difficult it is for changes to be accepted. Likewise, the older a person is, the more difficult it is to accept changes. Unless there is enlightenment. Eventually, with world communication and new generations, there will be a shift to the new mixed roles and a reduction in old gender roles. Right now tho, its just too early. So, there's conflict. |
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There seems to be a major difference in the use of the English language between men and women. Women use many more words and try to make their message softer but often with more emotion. It is like the difference between a politician and an engineer describing something. One makes a clear statement while the other uses a lot of words to say almost nothing. Thus one of the causes for a failure to communicate. That’s a unique analogy there with a lot of truth too  thanks
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Edited by
SparklingCrystal 💖💎
on
Mon 03/19/18 06:07 PM
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Men feel thus they act whereas women feel thus most of the time we talk if men talk more rather than act , don’t you think relationships will last longer? Or if women act more rather than talk, life would be more peaceful? Lol.
I don't think men mind talking, but they'd appreciate to be listened to. Also, if you want to talk about something and you communicate it in a feminine way a man will listen. Then he will also open up and you can have a good conversation, provided you listen to him as well of course. I think the problem often is that we women tend to bottle things up -I guess that's in our upbringing?- or keep worrying about something in our minds even after it's been dealt with. Men are often much easier. You had a problem, you discuss it, it's over and dealt with and they let go. We keep going over it in our minds, thinking "Oh chit, I should've.... why did I say XYZ? Maybe he doesn't love me anymore blablabla" while a man has already forgotten about it. As for talking about every single detail of the day... men don't have that need like we do. It's best to do that with a girl friend and not bother your guy with it. Crystal women are more emotional than men and that is a trait I think that helps us become stronger if we use it in a positive way. I do feel with what you wrote that we have the license to be complicated and feminine at the same time lol but kidding aside I know we shouldn’t judge a persons character by their gender. Thank you your advices always speak to me in a positive way. I want to ask again, do you have any single men relative ? I was just reminded of Dutch men and my past post 
Nope, no single male relative, haha. And I don't think it's complicated, that's what men make of it, men who have no real understanding of how both genders work and react from the ego. And yes, you can be yourself, always important to be yourself. But also important to learn how to communicate in healthy ways so 'being yourself' doesn't equal 'blame game' or 'drama queen'. And it IS feminine to express how we feel. Men tend to be in their heads much more, they need us to get to their own feelings and emotions, and that won't happen if we too communicate from the head. So us being able to communicate our emotions -in a healthy way (no drama queen and blame game chit) actually helps a relationship. . . . |
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I'm sure there's a Caveman Bob story in this somewhere?
Before the advent of agriculture, Paleolithic humans had little control of the environment, so they focused on staking out territory and negotiating relationships with nearby communities. Eventually, groups created small, temporary settlements, often near bodies of water. These settlements allowed for division of labor, and labor was often divided along gender lines, with women doing much of the gathering, cooking, and child-rearing and men doing much of the hunting, though this was certainly not the case across all Paleolithic societies. For example, some archaeological evidence suggests that Middle Paleolithic cultures in Eurasia split work fairly equally between men and women.
Source ~ http://www.khanacademy.org/humanities/world-history/world-history-beginnings/origin-humans-early-societies/a/what-were-paleolithic-societies-like The women would gather seeds, nuts, wild plants and they would also cook, make clothes and take care of their children. The men would hunt and paint on cave walls. A religion by their art on cave walls.
Source ~ http://prezi.com/foasr5v7voxk/what-was-the-role-of-men-and-women-in-the-stone-age/ So basically, The women kept the camp. The men supplied the camp with meat and invented religion. Men needed to know how to make spears to hunt. Use pigments to paint. Track their quarry. Know how to handle threats from predators. They had an aggressive stance. Women had to know how to gather berries and fruits. Make clothes from the pelts of the food animals. Prepare food. But most importantly they gave the camps a sense of family. They reared the children and dealt with the psychological swings of others to maintain balance. A mere 100 years ago most women were doing pretty much the same thing. Most school teachers were women. Nurses were women. A nurse doesn't just assist the doctor, they maintain psychological balance too. Recently (the last 50 years or so) the gender lines have been getting crossed in modern societies. That is because as a species human beings are growing. Strict gender roles are now outdated because of our societal development. There's turmoil because we have had distinct gender roles a lot longer than our mixed roles now. We're still relatively new at it. As new generations emerge, it will be more widely accepted. Some societies are quite ancient. The older a society, the more difficult it is for changes to be accepted. Likewise, the older a person is, the more difficult it is to accept changes. Unless there is enlightenment. Eventually, with world communication and new generations, there will be a shift to the new mixed roles and a reduction in old gender roles. Right now tho, its just too early. So, there's conflict. This is very informative Tom as its very interesting. Men and women are almost equal to the roles they play in the family, keeping it together and strong. With what you wrote I am pretty curious now as to what major shifts are in store for us in the future with gender roles and all. 
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Men feel thus they act whereas women feel thus most of the time we talk if men talk more rather than act , don’t you think relationships will last longer? Or if women act more rather than talk, life would be more peaceful? Lol.
I don't think men mind talking, but they'd appreciate to be listened to. Also, if you want to talk about something and you communicate it in a feminine way a man will listen. Then he will also open up and you can have a good conversation, provided you listen to him as well of course. I think the problem often is that we women tend to bottle things up -I guess that's in our upbringing?- or keep worrying about something in our minds even after it's been dealt with. Men are often much easier. You had a problem, you discuss it, it's over and dealt with and they let go. We keep going over it in our minds, thinking "Oh chit, I should've.... why did I say XYZ? Maybe he doesn't love me anymore blablabla" while a man has already forgotten about it. As for talking about every single detail of the day... men don't have that need like we do. It's best to do that with a girl friend and not bother your guy with it. Crystal women are more emotional than men and that is a trait I think that helps us become stronger if we use it in a positive way. I do feel with what you wrote that we have the license to be complicated and feminine at the same time lol but kidding aside I know we shouldn’t judge a persons character by their gender. Thank you your advices always speak to me in a positive way. I want to ask again, do you have any single men relative ? I was just reminded of Dutch men and my past post
Nope, no single male relative, haha. And I don't think it's complicated, that's what men make of it, men who have no real understanding of how both genders work and react from the ego. And yes, you can be yourself, always important to be yourself. But also important to learn how to communicate in healthy ways so 'being yourself' doesn't equal 'blame game' or 'drama queen'. And it IS feminine to express how we feel. Men tend to be in their heads much more, they need us to get to their own feelings and emotions, and that won't happen if we too communicate from the head. So us being able to communicate our emotions -in a healthy way (no drama queen and blame game chit) actually helps a relationship. . . . I kinda hoped you’d say yes about a relative lol. A man who could complement us and accept us for who we are but also helps us to become better version of ourselves is surely one we have to keep  a man who would ignite our flame and will continue to keep that fire burning  
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I am pretty curious now as to what major shifts are in store for us in the future with gender roles and all.
So, lets take a moment to speculate a bit... We already have house husbands (stay at home dads). We have more male nurses. The 'man' in fireman, policeman, postman is no longer accurate because there are now more women in these professions. Women saturate the military, can go into combat as soldiers. These are just a few examples of gender role reversal blurring lines of distinction. When professional lines are blurred what happens at the personal levels? It bleeds thru. How much does the change reflect of social programming vs personal preference? Is it acceptable to demonstrate reverse gender traits? When I was young, the 'TomBoy' girl was exciting. As a boy, they were easy to identify with but had girl qualities my male friends lacked. We could build a tree house together then have sex in the tree house. But, as I got older I longed for a more conventional relationship. I wanted a soft, ladylike partner. I liked girls in dresses, girls that were girl-like. Then I married a tomboy. She wouldn't wear a dress, she had no grace and elegance. There was always something missing? I believe there is a middle road to the gender reversal trend we commonly see now. Its my speculation that this middle road will widen in the future. That one's gender will not dictate personality traits. Women will get more assertive and men will become more compliant. There will also probably be a period where there will be nearly a complete reversal of traits between the genders. It depends on how the parents of the future teach their kids. I find this subject fascinating. For 25 years I was exposed to a tomboy wife. It affected my marriage but it changed my ability to appreciate woman-like qualities. I learned to appreciate and respect the differences. I'm attracted to women that have long hair, wear dresses and move themselves with womanly elegance and grace. I've adapted myself to demonstrate traits that a woman of such nature identifies with. I have respect for all women, even tomboys, but I am mainly attracted to lady-like women now. I think the changes are because there is a change in how society now accepts individualism. More people are embracing themselves instead of trying to personify a certain set of stereotypes. People are no longer locked into unnatural behaviors to satisfy an impression. Perhaps this is contributing to the current trend of multi-gender expression. Roles are no longer strictly defined and it causes a certain amount of confusion that expresses itself with the creation of multi-genders. Its like bringing a pot of water to boil and letting it cool off. Right now, it is in the boiling stage. Eventually it will simmer down. Ultimately, it will become distilled. Distilled water is created through the process of distillation. Basically, in the process of distillation, the pure H2O is boiled out of its contaminants. ... So, as the water (with its contaminants) is boiled, the pure water turns into steam and is captured and cooled and thus becomes distilled water.
The changes in gender expression right now is a temporary condition. I have no idea how long it will take but eventually it will stabilize and the result will be something new. |
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I went a whole week without speaking to my ex at one time.
It wasn’t that we’d fallen out, I just didn’t want to interrupt her. |
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I went a whole week without speaking to my ex at one time. It wasn’t that we’d fallen out, I just didn’t want to interrupt her. 
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I went a whole week without speaking to my ex at one time. It wasn’t that we’d fallen out, I just didn’t want to interrupt her.
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I am pretty curious now as to what major shifts are in store for us in the future with gender roles and all.
So, lets take a moment to speculate a bit... We already have house husbands (stay at home dads). We have more male nurses. The 'man' in fireman, policeman, postman is no longer accurate because there are now more women in these professions. Women saturate the military, can go into combat as soldiers. These are just a few examples of gender role reversal blurring lines of distinction. When professional lines are blurred what happens at the personal levels? It bleeds thru. How much does the change reflect of social programming vs personal preference? Is it acceptable to demonstrate reverse gender traits? When I was young, the 'TomBoy' girl was exciting. As a boy, they were easy to identify with but had girl qualities my male friends lacked. We could build a tree house together then have sex in the tree house. But, as I got older I longed for a more conventional relationship. I wanted a soft, ladylike partner. I liked girls in dresses, girls that were girl-like. Then I married a tomboy. She wouldn't wear a dress, she had no grace and elegance. There was always something missing? I believe there is a middle road to the gender reversal trend we commonly see now. Its my speculation that this middle road will widen in the future. That one's gender will not dictate personality traits. Women will get more assertive and men will become more compliant. There will also probably be a period where there will be nearly a complete reversal of traits between the genders. It depends on how the parents of the future teach their kids. I find this subject fascinating. For 25 years I was exposed to a tomboy wife. It affected my marriage but it changed my ability to appreciate woman-like qualities. I learned to appreciate and respect the differences. I'm attracted to women that have long hair, wear dresses and move themselves with womanly elegance and grace. I've adapted myself to demonstrate traits that a woman of such nature identifies with. I have respect for all women, even tomboys, but I am mainly attracted to lady-like women now. I think the changes are because there is a change in how society now accepts individualism. More people are embracing themselves instead of trying to personify a certain set of stereotypes. People are no longer locked into unnatural behaviors to satisfy an impression. Perhaps this is contributing to the current trend of multi-gender expression. Roles are no longer strictly defined and it causes a certain amount of confusion that expresses itself with the creation of multi-genders. Its like bringing a pot of water to boil and letting it cool off. Right now, it is in the boiling stage. Eventually it will simmer down. Ultimately, it will become distilled. Distilled water is created through the process of distillation. Basically, in the process of distillation, the pure H2O is boiled out of its contaminants. ... So, as the water (with its contaminants) is boiled, the pure water turns into steam and is captured and cooled and thus becomes distilled water.
The changes in gender expression right now is a temporary condition. I have no idea how long it will take but eventually it will stabilize and the result will be something new. Thanks for sharing your story Tom what I can say is that your life experiences are really something else 
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I went a whole week without speaking to my ex at one time. It wasn’t that we’d fallen out, I just didn’t want to interrupt her. 
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If I Were a Boy
Beyoncé If I were a boy Even just for a day I'd roll out of bed in the morning And throw on what I wanted and go Drink beer with the guys And chase after girls I'd kick it with who I wanted And I'd never get confronted for it 'Cause they'd stick up for me If I were a boy I think I could understand How it feels to love a girl I swear I'd be a better man I'd listen to her 'Cause I know how it hurts When you lose the one you wanted 'Cause he's taken you for granted And everything you had got destroyed If I were a boy I would turn off my phone Tell everyone it's broken So they'd think that I was sleeping alone I'd put myself first And make the rules as I go 'Cause I know that she'd be faithful Waiting for me to come home (to come home) If I were a boy I think I could understand How it feels to love a girl I swear I'd be a better man I'd listen to her 'Cause I know how it hurts When you lose the one you wanted 'Cause he's taken you for granted And everything you had got destroyed It's a little too late for you to come back Say it's just a mistake Think I'd forgive you like that If you thought I would wait for you You thought wrong But you're just a boy You don't understand (Yeah, you don't understand) How it feels to love a girl someday You wish you were a better man You don't listen to her You don't care how it hurts Until you lose the one you wanted 'Cause you've taken her for granted And everything you have got destroyed But you're just a boy A gender reversal song
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