Note: not a personal experience, just something I thought could be interesting discussion.

Have you ever been on a date (maybe a blind date/setup) with someone you initially had no physical attraction to, only to discover so much inner attraction you had to see them again?

If Yes, did your inner attraction change your physical attraction to them and how?

It is a good topic. for me, attraction is very complex. I can be attracted to many things about a person that are not physical and that attraction can then definitely EVOLVE into a physical attraction where, I imagine, my brain is associating those attractive traits with the asthetic traits that come with them. I have never bee disgusted or turned off physically to have it evolve.

But I certainly have started where the physical did not draw me in, but the traits which did draw me in caused the physical to become more appealing.

No

My girl friend at that time, had a man, and her man had a cousin, so she wanted me to go along with them out. I said ok.

I t was terrible, he was fresh and we had nothing in common.

Never again. I pick my own dates.



I

When there is no physical attraction... Usually there is nothing to talk about... It happened to me once although I'm very informative talkative person

Hummm sure have...meet a guy from a friend she introduced me to... No attraction beyond friends at first... but the more I got to know him and his nature he kind of grew on me... we was together for 12 years...

At times one never knows anything is possible~~

I have never been on a blind date. Is it strictly with a person you haven’t seen or talked with ever? Do people still do this? And can it be possible on line or this is what’s going on already here lol . I can kinda compare it here. Chatting with people around the world with no real idea about who they are and sometimes they are more that what they say (or less) . Initially some would be boring but when we give it a chance and get to know the person more , we find out we’re really not wasting our time after all . Am I off topic ? Lol keeps posting

Not off topic at all. Online would be a good example. I just figured most people would only give a chance to someone they held no attraction for if they were set up.

I don't know if blind dates still exist. The last one I went on was a long time ago. My best friend's bf had a buddy in town and asked me to pair with him for dinner so he didn't feel like a third wheel.

I think there has to be AN attraction, but there doesnt HAVE to be an initial physical attraction, as long as one is not actually physically repulsed ... lol.


so my first interracial date, I was not physically attracted to him at all, but that wasnt because he was 'unattractive', just not aligned with the 'physical' type that excited me at the time.

However, in getting to know the individual, I became very attracted to him, to his wit and charm and swag, and from all that a physical attraction developed. It happens when one has not closed their mind to accepting nothing but an initial physical spark.

How was your experience? That sounded interesting

My experience would not apply here. That man may have been the most beautiful male specimen I've ever seen. He was also very intelligent and witty and good natured. He also lived in Iceland and went home two days after I met him.

Aaaaaawww that sucks

Attraction (any kind) to another human being (female or male) is our primary (initial) judgement that sets the stage for our level of interaction (if any).

Consider that there are different kinds and levels of attraction
Physical attraction
Sexual attraction
Intellectual attraction
Spiritual attraction
Financial attraction
Authority attraction
and even
Emotional attraction.

They don't occupy their own lil boxes. They over-lap, intensify and blur.
Whats more, they change as our perception changes as our emotional states ebb and flow.

Any discussion on attraction must also have considerations about repulsions.
There may be a physical attraction but a sexual repulsion. Any combination at any time and not set in stone.

Its the perception in the moment that sets the attraction/repulsion. Familiarity (duration of perception) changes the perceived attraction/repulsion.
Attraction is not a bold straight line drawn from one person to another, its a bunch of squiggly lines that loop and twist and fade and brighten as we spend time in their presence.

Tell me 'bout it!

He probably only dated super models anyway.

No, and doubt this would ever happen.
I don't think I ever dated because of physical attraction. From all the guys I dated there were only 3 I thought could be the right one for me and that had nothing much to do with physical attraction.

I need mental/emotional attraction, and a bit of chatting (online) can tell me very quickly if that's there or not. If not, I don't date. Why waste my time.

I have experienced this, but not interracially, or even physically. I spent time with a man who was not my usual personality type, and discovered a hidden treasure in it. I think we sometimes don't even realize how many doors are closed in our minds until one of them opens unexpectedly.

I'm confused..isn't it you ladies who are always saying looks aren't important? Or do y'all just tell me that?

This reads like informative poetry. Nicely put.

So have you experienced a burgeoning perception in one type of attraction which overflows onto another type of attraction?

Exactly

I think physical attraction is rarely a reflexion of GQ or Covergirl standards of beauty. Most women can find physical attraction in kind eyes, charming smiles or even cute earlobes. Lol!

The question here is whether an attraction to personality and intellect bring our attention to physical attractions we were not initially drawn to.

I believe most women are more excited about the gift than the wrapper.

I think I'm much the same. I do believe I begin to see a man's personality in his face as I come to know him. I find that physically attractive in itself. I've not tried chatting with men online yet. I've only responded to one email so far. Lol!