My feelings exactly! I know how it hurts and I dont want to be the cause of pain!

Separated is not cheating. I dated when I was separated (and going through a divorce!), years ago, and in the long run it helped me to move on better...through all the crap. Married and looking is cheating. There's no two ways about it. People that do that shouldn't have gotten married to begin with and definitely shouldn't involve others in their games.

my husband and i seperated about 5 times before i finally filed the papers and we stayed apart. it wasnt until i found out he had a girlfriend and was cheating on me that i finally filed them.

So because my wife cheated and ran off with someone else, I have to spend my time alone until the courts decide I am single. I was single the day I found out. And have no problem admitting to my situation. It's not about if your married or seperated, its about honesty and integrity

Hits nail on the head

Seperated - no divorce papers filed, just a agreement between parties. there is still a binding marriage between parties

Legal seperation - Divorce papers filed, each partie no longer has any say or responsibity for the other

What seperation we talking here, A LEGAL SEPERATION means much more than the actually divorce itself

Legal seperation implies the marriage is over lets work out the details. From that day forward it is OVER

to Tameka and JellyBean!!

Separated is not cheating!!!

I now see the real problem here.

People seem to think, that when their partners cheat on them. They have been stolen by some marriage breaker.

Open your eyes and ears, when your partner cheats, blame your partner or yourself. NOT THE INNOCENT PERSON WHO MAY HAVE NOT EVEN KNOWN YOUR PARTNER WAS MARRIED.

If he or she is cheating, there was a problem way, way, before the third person came along DUH

To me seperation is a divorce. I think if a couple are seperated for a long enough period of time it can anull the marriage, I'm not sure though, but either way marriage is far more than a legal document, thus divorce doesn't need a signature just the two seperating.

I am seperated but i am not cheating....I am not even physically or emotionally involved with anyone....there are many reasons why ppl seperate and not get the divorce final....but whatever a seperated person does is THEIR BUSINESS... NO ONE ELSE'S!! tell ppl upfront that im seperated and if they wanna keep talking to me or take it to another level..that is up to them...

i was seperated for 3 years, and just got my divorce about 4 monthes ago,, and i was with someone for 2 of those years, but shes been with my ex best friend since we broke up,, so whos doing who wrong

I think if you are seperated, the first thing you need to do is finish your business with your mate!! Yes you are still legally married, so why not finish it off? Don't say its because of financial problems, just save up the money and pay for the divorce...how hard can that be?
Its kind of like you still are connected to your mate UNTIL that divorce is final. Why on earth would you ever date someone and drag them into your mess? Get out of the first mess until you jump into another situation!! Why would you involve someone and maybe they have children...before you know it, their kids learn to like you!! Then what happens IF you decided NOT to move ahead with the divorce~~~what a screwed up mess that would be.
Do everyone a favor...get your divorce and then date!!!

GREAT TOPIC BY THE WAY

Hear Hear!!

To each his own. If you feel people who are seperated shouldn't date don't date them. How dare anyone try to to tell my how to live my life. I am honest with myself and anyone I meet and thats between them and me. No one else.

Honestly, I feel for you because your situation was just like mine. My wonderful ex husband cheated on me also, he was the one that caused the divorce.
Now with that being said...I just think you need time to heal. The question to ask yourself is this...are you really ready to start dating? I still think, not just in your situation, when you are seperated...you still have connections that will not be settled UNTIL you are finally divorced.
Until you are divorced...there is still a little bit of "maybe" it just might get repaired. What would happen if you met someone very nice and then all of a sudden...your wife pops back into your life and wants to make your marriage work?? Woops, now it looks like you are going to hurt someone that probably should not have been involved in the first place!!
Everyone has to live thier own life the way they see fit..but I know I won't be involved with anyone who is just "seperated." Then again, all I am looking for is friendship any way...so I say, SPREAD THE LOVE!!!

Hello56, I'm with you. The day I found out he was *still* in contact with 'her', I was single. It was over, NEVER to be again, and I wouldn't have him back if PROMISED to finally figure out where that 'G' spot is.

oh what fun life is, some say wait till there divorced,others say if there seperated its ok, and some dont mind even if there married oh what a rush, so what do i think? i think every person has to do whats best for them, maybe its right or maybe its wrong, im just saying you live, you learn and you die. you have one life and its yours you manage it the way you see fit and at the end of the day if you can be happy,and live happy then good for u and if you cant than you better smarten up a little bit.

I suppose everyone has their own definition of separated. When I say separated I mean no way in H*LL will I get back together!!! Therefore, I still say that is not cheating!!

I could kiss you. And girls stop dating guys who are cheating they will just cheat on you.

Just my opinion but being seperated is not cheating especially when both parties know this upfront.Just because some gets a divorce doesn't mean they won't get back together.It happens all the time.I dated a lady that was divorced and then she decided to get back with her ex and they remarried.
There is no guarantees in a relationship.Things change and so do people.
thats just my opinion