i have to say that when you join a site, you shouldnt start out with negativity...


let people get to know you... dont come into a site where we all have friends and start downing people you dont know and people that sure as hell were not blowing up your mailbox with "pick me" emails...



mean people suck...

With all due respect......a legal seperation is not cheating....it is the step before the finalization of a divorce in which the courts deem the marriage to be over.

As long as you tell the other person that you are legally seperated, not just living apart from your spouse, it is not cheating. Cheating in a commited relationship is a horrible thing, be it a marriage or a life partnership, is inexcusable in my opinion. When I was seperated, I was told by the courts I could go back to using my maiden name (as if I was no longer married).

actually... though we live in 2 separate states but are only 2 hours away from eachother... i live in my home town and yes, he is an engineer.... couldnt get anything in his field here... nothing to do with money... but if the two adults are not happy the children arent going to be happy... and what???? did your wife leave you for someone who actually treated her with respect? is that where all the anger comes from? if you dont like talking to separated women... then dont. we wont cry about it... trust me!!!! we were happy before you came along and we will be happy long after you leave.

I Don't agree that Separated and married are TWO different things. Technically you ARE married until the judge signs the final desolution order!!!!

Additionally separations can go on for very long periods of time and as long as two people are not serious enough to have finalized the end to a marriage, as far as I am concerned they are completely off limits. To me it is unfinished business and unfinished business is USUALLY nothin but a disadvantage and heartache waiting to happen for the newest player (the new love).

Best to let everyone take care of their own business in their OWN time and approach the situation with open arms when the playing field has been equaled.

so, if you don't have the money , you stay with someone who is cheating till you can afford to leave them? or if it's an abusive relationship you stay because you committed to the relationship?
is that what you are saying?


or just because someone is seperated they should wait for a piece o paper to say they can go get laid or find someone new?
even if the person you are talking about was cheated on?
as long as it's over what the hell does it matter?
why do you care? do you just like to stick your nose into others buisness?
or are you angry cause you were once done like that?
or do you feel like you have the only answer as to how ppl should live thier life?

I LEFT MY WIFE IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO KNOW......SHE CHEATED AND TO ME THAT BROKE THE VOWS WE MADE..............YOU WANNA DEBATE SOME MORE, I WOULD LOVE TOO............

the only difference between being married and having a boyfriend/girlfriend is the piece of paper... committment is still the same... so are boyfriends and girlfriends not broken up until they have a piece of paper notarized saying so???


the only reason you need papers signed for a divorce is for the legalities of who pays what bills and who has what responsibilites as far as the children go...

U GOT IT GAMS.......THANKS

I kicked my husband out for the same reason.

Let's debate.

i was separated for over TWO YEARS before we even started divorce proceedings. we lived in different cities, didn't communicate...nothing.

why didn't we divorce sooner? because i had his daughter...she was barely sixteen when we split, and we agreed to wait until she was eighteen to get divorced, so i could legally take her to doctors and sign her for school and all of that jazz.

every dynamic is different. what if the person who is married and looking is doing so at the behest of their partner?

so, u were married at the time, not separated. guess that means you didn't date till it was legal.

WELL TAMEKA, SOUNDS TO ME EITHER OF YOU WANT THE RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR CHILDREN....................I GUESS LET THEM SUFFER FOR YOUR GAIN.....HMMMMMMMMMMMMM

seems to me that you have more unfinished business than i do... my feeling are long since gone... seems to me that you have more chance hurting someone than i do... im not the one still living in the past.

My ex refused to sign the divorce papers for five years... are you telling me i am supposed to remain alone all that time LOL

you have kids?

i have three.....my ***** left....and yes i will call her that...i've earned it....and she turned out to be......

you want to debate how ppl should stay together in a bad spot?
foine....i can do that....got a wonderfully sick story that bury any cause you have to stick it out in a **** storm.....

does judge not lest you be judged ring any bells? you have no clue what the dynamics of any given situation are ever........if you have issues with seperation then i'd advise stay away from those who offend your delicate sensibilities.........personally judging from your attitude straight out of the gate plan on being alone for a very long long time boyo..........


jmo

you have no idea what kind of a person i am... let alone what kind of a mother... so dont even take it there... my children are loved by both of us... no questions!!! dont try to hurt others just because you are hurting. learn how to cope with what you have gone thru and not pass judgements on those you have never taken the time to get to know...

Give me a break!!!!!

Seeee right there is the flaw in the young society of today and also the reason for a 52% divorce rate in this country.

Being boyfriend and girlfriend is just about as far away from a true commitment as Pluto is from the Earth.

Marriage vows are sacred and a promise of a life long committment in case anyone has forgotten. Granted sometimes such as in cases of abuse being it mental, physical or financial...sometimes those unions need to end. But I find it a bit frightening that anyone one would dare to compare the TWO

well said ice.

Certainly seems that way.