My spouse and I have been emotionally (and verbally) "separated" for four years---we are now signing the ol' divorce papers---and despite us living together for most of those four years, it was over four years ago. Irrevocably.

There are myriad reasons why folks don't get officially divorced. Personally, I don't really want to get divorced. Divorce would mean that the sh it I did as his wife means nothing---I have no protection. As I have no desire to ever marry again, why the heck should I get divorced?

I agree. I won't marry again but that doesn't mean I should be alone

My marriage was over like 4 years ago, I had canser and had his insurance, we were seperated but not legally, I had surgeries, and meds, so we stayed married and even lived in the same house, so I would not loose coverage, as new insurance would consider it a pre-exsisting condition. We both had other people in our lives, and we made it work, because even though we didn't want to be married any more, we still loved each other, just not romantically. I think it is different for women than it is men, I have a friend going threw a divorce and he refuses to date until it is final, mine was over once we had "the talk" I certainly don't judge either way, it is what is comfortable for you, I think all the controversy started when the judgement came....

And look how the origanator of the thread left once it got hot in the kitchen....How funny is that? Why is he divorced again??? never mind that is a retorical question.

Divorces dont always take long because of money, Its the judicial process that takes so long. Someone has to decide who gets what and the judges want the lawyers to do the dividing. But if issues arrise the judge will decide. This can take 5 to 10 trips to the court house. Each trip a couple of months apart.
That is why there is such a thing as a legal seperation, this allows the seperated parties to move on with their lives, while the divorce goes through its process.

When its over its over and the fat lady is singing, when the divorce papers are filed. So if your ex cheated on you, So what.
Does that mean everybody is a @sshole? No, it means your ex was a @sshole.

Yogi Bera also said and I quote.

"Nobody goes there anymore, it's too crowded"

Faux Pax