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| Topic: Feeling bored with husband and want to separate... | |
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Im Asian women.I've married for 6ys. Im 27ys and i think im young . My husband is Asian man too. He 41ys. I have a boy 5ys. Im working everyday. But I always feel bored. My husband never understand me and he not really care about what I want. No gift, no wishing for special day... he seem just like his life... i live in Ireland with him and no friends no family... very congested
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first, a decongestant is in order. Then consider what single parenting will look like for you. Then talk about how you are unhappy and would like to plan a holiday or date night. If there are reasons that this sort of thing is not viable just yet, then let him spell out what should happen before he's comfortable with that. If his reason is that he doesnt like you and the thought of spending time with you annoys him then by all means let him know youre not interested in staying married. this one, specially the decongestant jk... lost in translation. If you separate, would you stay in Ireland? |
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I would advise against divorce on the grounds of 'boredom'
we are responsible for our own entertainment and joy, it doesn't come from others. If you did not marry him for love and the reason you married has passed, I would talk to him to see how you can get it back. |
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Edited by
Pepinofruit
on
Wed 12/06/17 06:18 PM
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It takes 2 to tango...So much to communicate,
so much to do together, so much to accomplish. Try & Save the last dance with/for your hubby before deciding the easy way out via the back door. The grass may look greener on the other side of the fence, but also can be dark poison for the soul. DISCLAIMER...I only wrote how I personally feel 
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I know and I tried to talk with him what im thinking but he just promised and correct his mistakes. Just keep about few day. And everything comeback as before. I know he love me. But seem I respond all in my family so he doesn't want to share with me...
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I married him with true love when iwas very young. And u know I thought just love is enough to have a family but after 1 ys I realized I've wrong. I tried to advise him change his mind but he not.
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Young love is never enough, unless it is allowed to grow and grow up. Realizing that it is far to easy to get sucked into the daily grind. Of paying bills, worrying about those extra espences etc.. While longing for the days of dating excitement.
As someone else put it single parenting is no joy. And all to often a boring and lonely chore. Babysitters are not cheap, and there seems to always be new shoes needed. In short you face the same struggle only alone! |
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The FIRST thing you should do is get off dating sites and participate in your own life. Get a hobby, find a craft or art project...something?
Next, you need to GROW UP. You have a child that need its mother and father. The moment you two decided to bring a new life into this world you became something more than two individuals. No problem is completely one persons doing. It takes two to make a child and it takes two to make a loving relationship. Perhaps you both need to work on your honest communication? Set aside time where both of you can just sit and talk. Communication is a two way activity. It is just as important to listen as it is to talk. Consider the responsibility effect. When someone in a marriage faces overwhelming responsibility it wears on the soul. Consider his feelings of responsibility and praise, yes praise him for his efforts. Ask him, with love, what he expects in life. Acknowledge what he says and remember what has become important to him. Once the honest communication returns you can address your boredom concerns. From what you have written, It looks like he has closed down. That you don't understand what he is going thru so he stops sharing it. If you would do anything for the ones you love you should demonstrate it with actions. Shallow words only widen the rift. Wishes and dreams are only possible if you take action to make them happen. Make a list of the things you want to change. Note the things that you can change yourself. Note the things that you need his help to change. Then make a list of the things that are good, that don't need to change. Note the things that you do yourself. Note the things that require his help. Concentrate on the good things. Say outloud - "That's a good thing" when they happen. Then smile. Address the bad things as they happen. Are they things that could have been avoided with an action earlier? Are they things that are outside your personal control? Learning which mistakes you make is not as important as learning how to avoid making them in the first place. Never minimize your successes. Even the little ones. Above all, try to remember that he is a human being that is unique. Just as you are unique. You will never look at the world thru his eyes, he will never look at the world thru your eyes. The best you can do is hope for a mutual understanding. You are you. He is Him. Together you can be unity or strangers. Its really up to you, its YOUR life. |
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try counseling
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have you thought about trying to couples counselling? before you make any hasty decisions try counselling first it may just be your marriage needs rejuvenating... and counselling can help you both work though how you are feeling.
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I will choose a boring and faithful husband over an exciting but cheating one anytime. Love the one your with specially if he loves you. I don’t know the whole story but I wish you more love and happiness with the choices you do make
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The FIRST thing you should do is get off dating sites and participate in your own life. Get a hobby, find a craft or art project...something? Next, you need to GROW UP. You have a child that need its mother and father. The moment you two decided to bring a new life into this world you became something more than two individuals. No problem is completely one persons doing. It takes two to make a child and it takes two to make a loving relationship. Perhaps you both need to work on your honest communication? Set aside time where both of you can just sit and talk. Communication is a two way activity. It is just as important to listen as it is to talk. Consider the responsibility effect. When someone in a marriage faces overwhelming responsibility it wears on the soul. Consider his feelings of responsibility and praise, yes praise him for his efforts. Ask him, with love, what he expects in life. Acknowledge what he says and remember what has become important to him. Once the honest communication returns you can address your boredom concerns. From what you have written, It looks like he has closed down. That you don't understand what he is going thru so he stops sharing it. If you would do anything for the ones you love you should demonstrate it with actions. Shallow words only widen the rift. Wishes and dreams are only possible if you take action to make them happen. Make a list of the things you want to change. Note the things that you can change yourself. Note the things that you need his help to change. Then make a list of the things that are good, that don't need to change. Note the things that you do yourself. Note the things that require his help. Concentrate on the good things. Say outloud - "That's a good thing" when they happen. Then smile. Address the bad things as they happen. Are they things that could have been avoided with an action earlier? Are they things that are outside your personal control? Learning which mistakes you make is not as important as learning how to avoid making them in the first place. Never minimize your successes. Even the little ones. Above all, try to remember that he is a human being that is unique. Just as you are unique. You will never look at the world thru his eyes, he will never look at the world thru your eyes. The best you can do is hope for a mutual understanding. You are you. He is Him. Together you can be unity or strangers. Its really up to you, its YOUR life. Tom, you are indeed a good man with great understanding. Keep it up, God bless you |
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Im Asian women.I've married for 6ys. Im 27ys and i think im young . My husband is Asian man too. He 41ys. I have a boy 5ys. Im working everyday. But I always feel bored. My husband never understand me and he not really care about what I want. No gift, no wishing for special day... he seem just like his life... i live in Ireland with him and no friends no family... very congested So you are married and bored and looking for a man for " friendship" That is trouble.. no matter how you qualify it.. and you know it. |
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Hi, I was reading all the messages of "advice" from so many people (I guess they mean well). How do you feel when you read all these messages? Is it really helping you?
If you want to talk about how you are feeling and what is going on in your life (including work), feel free to write to me. I will listen and we can share stories. I am not here to give advice. I am here to listen. |
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Has he got life insurance?
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Don't wait for him to give you a special day. Give him a special day. Show him what you'd like to see restored to your relationship.
 Also, seeking male friendships online is not going to help your relationship any. |
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hello
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hi mrs, how can we do a chat with each other?
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Hi, I was reading all the messages of "advice" from so many people (I guess they mean well). How do you feel when you read all these messages? Is it really helping you? If you want to talk about how you are feeling and what is going on in your life (including work), feel free to write to me. I will listen and we can share stories. I am not here to give advice. I am here to listen.  ********************************************* Bulls-eye
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Best thing to do is to communicate.. remember your promise to each other and remember the reason why you marry him
 If you still love each other and if he's a good person, try to work things out.. also remember the feeling of your kid I wish you happiness and may you God give you wisdom in every decision that you will make |
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