Topic: Feeling bored with husband and want to separate...
no photo
Fri 03/23/18 03:26 PM

I married him with true love when iwas very young. And u know I thought just love is enough to have a family but after 1 ys I realized I've wrong. I tried to advise him change his mind but he not.


First point is yes, love is enough, enough to get us through our life...and second is True Love does not come to an end.............You have received some very wise advice on here from strangers who can understand your situation...do you seriously think others don't sometimes get bored by their partners, that has nothing to do with love. perhaps you should buy a joke book for your husband?..( sorry)...if you feel love for your son, then don't take his father away from him, a child needs both parents........you have love in your life.......you are lucky, ! God Bless

no photo
Fri 03/23/18 03:29 PM

I would advise against divorce on the grounds of 'boredom'

we are responsible for our own entertainment and joy, it doesn't come from others.

If you did not marry him for love and the reason you married has passed, I would talk to him to see how you can get it back.


WELL SAID flowerforyou

Poetrywriter's photo
Fri 03/23/18 05:50 PM

hello



offtopic

Poetrywriter's photo
Fri 03/23/18 05:52 PM

hi mrs, how can we do a chat with each other?



offtopic

KatDee05's photo
Wed 04/04/18 02:24 PM

Im Asian women.I've married for 6ys. Im 27ys and i think im young . My husband is Asian man too. He 41ys. I have a boy 5ys. Im working everyday. But I always feel bored. My husband never understand me and he not really care about what I want. No gift, no wishing for special day... he seem just like his life... i live in Ireland with him and no friends no family... very congested

KatDee05's photo
Wed 04/04/18 02:27 PM
Edited by KatDee05 on Wed 04/04/18 02:28 PM
I think when you get into a relationship young you either grow together or grow apart plus you've a big age gap !! From personal experience move on you're still young don't stay in a loveless marriage for the sake of it X Need a friend I live in Ireland too xx

no photo
Wed 05/23/18 01:47 AM
Inzest

no photo
Wed 05/23/18 01:49 AM
Jepp

Easttowest72's photo
Wed 05/23/18 07:31 AM
Op the guy is too old for you. It isn't going to get any better. But be careful with your decision, because if you divorce him, the things you married him for, will be gone too.

no photo
Fri 05/25/18 11:26 PM
Very often asian girls, mainly from china, south china, put on their husband all their frustrations. It’s a culture matter, not belonging to personality. You’ve been raised up with many expectations from your man, if he makes money enough to buy gift for you and give money to you to spend by yourself everything is fine, even if he doesn’t love you and has lovers and mistress around. The expectations pack from that culture is huge, almost impossible to fulfill, so girls think they have all the rights to complain. I suggest you to talk with someone who already divorced for your same reasons, and you will see what kind of disaster they then made in their lives. Then one day you will also tell your son the true, that you divorced because his father wasn’t buying you gifts..... are you sure you are an adult conscious person?

Sirobhanoy's photo
Thu 06/07/18 11:02 PM
Free will..start with the roots was it love wen u started!? Or u convinced itself for survival and time catches up faster

styvyn's photo
Sun 06/17/18 12:12 PM
My sister, where you will wish to go is the same as where you are now. The beginning of every relationship is sweet but as time goes on it becomes the same everywhere. I suggest you rather reconcile with things and make ammendments. That is to say talk to him to bring life into the relationship to make it fun rather than quitting. Besides you are too young to divorce, how about your second and third children? Do you want them to be of different fathers?. Wait till you are 40 45 by then your kids are grown. Then you can quit and go have fun for the rest of your life

Adaam69's photo
Tue 06/26/18 12:46 AM
Hmm .Some people Actually dont know how to be romantic...So you should Try something that will help him to be romantic...And do let him know how you fell...Not by your words but by your action & use reverse psychology...

Palghat's photo
Wed 06/27/18 07:47 AM
In Ireland, and bored?

teach the Irish chopsticks,

seriously
ask what would you do if you weren't married?
work, study, volunteer?
do it, and it soon becomes a passion, the center of your life

Probably he would also feel relieved

oldmandi's photo
Thu 06/28/18 12:41 PM

The FIRST thing you should do is get off dating sites and participate in your own life. Get a hobby, find a craft or art project...something?

Next, you need to GROW UP.
You have a child that need its mother and father.
The moment you two decided to bring a new life into this world you became something more than two individuals.

No problem is completely one persons doing. It takes two to make a child and it takes two to make a loving relationship.
Perhaps you both need to work on your honest communication?

Set aside time where both of you can just sit and talk.
Communication is a two way activity. It is just as important to listen as it is to talk.

Consider the responsibility effect. When someone in a marriage faces overwhelming responsibility it wears on the soul. Consider his feelings of responsibility and praise, yes praise him for his efforts.

Ask him, with love, what he expects in life. Acknowledge what he says and remember what has become important to him. Once the honest communication returns you can address your boredom concerns.

From what you have written, It looks like he has closed down.
That you don't understand what he is going thru so he stops sharing it.

If you would do anything for the ones you love you should demonstrate it with actions. Shallow words only widen the rift.
Wishes and dreams are only possible if you take action to make them happen.

Make a list of the things you want to change.
Note the things that you can change yourself.
Note the things that you need his help to change.
Then make a list of the things that are good, that don't need to change.
Note the things that you do yourself.
Note the things that require his help.

Concentrate on the good things.
Say outloud - "That's a good thing" when they happen. Then smile.
Address the bad things as they happen.
Are they things that could have been avoided with an action earlier?
Are they things that are outside your personal control?
Learning which mistakes you make is not as important as learning how to avoid making them in the first place.
Never minimize your successes. Even the little ones.

Above all, try to remember that he is a human being that is unique. Just as you are unique. You will never look at the world thru his eyes, he will never look at the world thru your eyes.
The best you can do is hope for a mutual understanding.
You are you.
He is Him.
Together you can be unity or strangers.

woe this was carefully thought out ,
Its really up to you, its YOUR life.

Aarsh69's photo
Fri 07/06/18 01:49 AM
What do you want?

indianadave4's photo
Mon 07/09/18 09:22 PM

I think when you get into a relationship young you either grow together or grow apart plus you've a big age gap !! From personal experience move on you're still young don't stay in a loveless marriage for the sake of it X Need a friend I live in Ireland too xx


I wonder if you would give this advise if the OP were a man? Most women would verbally emasculate a married man for being on a dating site voicing the same problems.

no photo
Thu 07/12/18 09:21 PM
Edited by Genuine_18 on Thu 07/12/18 09:26 PM
Communication with maturity is the key. Also, having a social life will lift your spirits tremendously. Don’t rely on 1 person in your life to fulfil all of your needs, don’t put all that pressure on 1 person (husband or not) it’s YOUR life, meet people, set goals for yourself. When you have become a whole person within yourself, you won’t need it all from your partner, enhance each other’s lives instead. Let your son see you happy, doing things and becoming active in your community with other mums. Don’t let cultural and language differences stop you from being how you would be in your own country. If you feel lonely make the effort to meet people, cos in the U.K. nobody will bother unless you really put yourself out there. Don’t leave out of boredom, the worlds an increasingly scary place, be happy you’re safe and have what you need. Time flies and you’re not missing anything out there, make the most of what you have, don’t make hasty decisions. Regret isn’t a path you want to walk down.

However, if you’re REALLY unhappy then ask your husband if he’s ok..how he feels about you etc. Perhaps relationship counselling would help, but treat him how you want to be treated, there’s always 2 sides to a story.

no photo
Sat 07/14/18 11:50 AM
Hi there.
I have been in a relationship like that too last year.
He was a good person but very very boring.
He was very intelligent but only focussed on career and success. Never on his private relationships.
In the beginning I tried to hang in and support him and it went well because I was very busy with university and all too, but after a while I couldn’t take it any longer.
I sat him down and told him the truth.
He tried to change for the better, for a few weeks but then his old habits came back. So eventually I broke it off.
I’m happy without him. He is still single because he neglects his relationships for his professional career and he expects girls to jump for him.

In your situation it might be a bit more difficult because you have a child with him.
Nevertheless, if you are unhappy in your relationship, it might be better to separate. A kid feels when his or her parents are unhappy and blames themselves for that.
You are still young. You can change your life and rearrange it.
Marriage doesn’t have to be ethernal if it doesn’t work out.
Kids are sometimes happier too when their parents finally divorce. That’s better than having a stressful home situation.

Think long and hard about it.
Visit a therapist and make sure you have a very good lawyer if you decide to divorce him.
Contact a lawyer before telling him. That is my advice. If you decide to divorce that is.

stuyrob's photo
Sat 07/14/18 01:05 PM
I think the meaning of life is happyness and if your not happy you need to do something about it, either get him to change and make you happy or change him for someone that does xx