We use the word quite often, but do we respect people or do we respect certain things about a person?

Do you think maybe when we 'respect' a person, we are merely focusing more on the things about them we respect than those we don't. Or are they someone who happens to carry themselves in a way that we are aware ONLY of, or at least only willing to acknowledge, the things about them that we do respect?

For instance, I can respect someones singing skills or their talent for solving complex problems, but think they lack a certain integrity. and because I Happen to place a priority on integrity, I do not feel I can say I respect THEM.

on the flip side, someone who doesn't see integrity as a priority, but instead values talents and intelligence, may have great respect for that same person.

Is our perception of respecting a person subjectively tied to our own priorities and standards about the traits in them that we 'respect'?

,,,things that make me go hmmmm...

Mind.
Boom.

I believe that is a trick ?

Not sure about linking the two with our own priorities ... but I do understand ... say for instants I find a actor that I once like ... but in their real life they have hurt someone by abuse... some how I don't see them the same becouse of what they did an have a lack of respect for them once known ... I do like what integrity brings ... do I have respect for them sure ... so long as I know what that person is about ... but they don't have to have the same priorities of mine ...

Mind.
Bomb.


Thats what I think you meant. Go Aretha!

..so maybe it would be best and safest to say that you respect certain attributes.that way the integrity of your respect remains intact...

I think so! When you respect someone, you kind of admire them for a quality that they have or something that they do in other words when you respect a quality in someone, so in a way you respect them, too. However, ideally we respect people just because they're humans.

I believe there are different kinds of respect. I think that you can respect someone's abilities, their achievements, talents, position/status, old age, which is not the same as respecting a person's character, their honesty, trustworthiness, integrity, honour, etc.

Perhaps Aretha said it best...

I actually came to the same conclusion

Looks at himself in the mirror... okay I promise I'll respect myself in the morning..lol

Yes.

Respect has more than one definition or use.

Little different than the word "friendship."

And can be subjective to context.


Depends on how you're using/defining the term "respect."
It has more than 1 definition.
Someone can be "respecting" a person, and doing more than 1 thing, possibly even contradictory.

Part of it is that people have more than 1 identity.
You're a human being, a woman, a mother, a (insert political/religious affiliation or belief system here), a (insert your last name here), a (insert your profession or hobbies here).

A "person" has many different facades for the groups they go through/participate in.

There is no such thing as a solitary unified absolute "person" in the eyes of other people.

People have different values, morals, beliefs, depending on the group/individual they find themselves interacting with.

Have you always interacted with your children the same way?
Do you still refuse to let them out of the house alone? The same as when they were 2? Do you still baby talk them to sleep? Or when they were 6 months old did you try to distance yourself from them and attempt to pedantically define the universe and your relationship to them in absolutes through "logic and reason?"

Did you ever go on a job interview and say something like "I'm a quick learner! I'm willing to do anything for an opportunity to show you how great of an asset I'd be to you!"
Do you feel like saying that on a first date?
Did you say that when your mom first started giving you chores?

Interacting with people you only interact with facets of them at a time.
Facets which you build a biased global concept of.

You have to start off respecting the "things" they show you, which you then build into a bigger picture of who you think they are.
And they show you more facets. Then you build bigger pictures.
And it doesn't stop.
You never completely know a person or everything they're capable of.
Partly because people always change. Subtle in the short term leading to longer term significance.

At best you get into a routine where the same facets are shown over and over again and there's never any extreme circumstances to show you something new, developing a status quo you actively work to keep from changing, or you stop paying attention to anything new, possibly using the biases developed through determining the old, and/or something/someone else comes by with facets you find more interesting so pay attention to something else.

Showing "respect" to a stranger isn't really showing them "respect" or feeling "respect" for them so much as for yourself, your beliefs, and social rules/contracts.


Just as likely is you were socially trained, or based on your experience and brain chemistry tolerance, to have to say you respect their singing skills.

Maybe you see yourself, your self/group identity, as a "music" person, someone who has the experience and knowledge to be able to judge "singing skill." So "respecting" their singing skills is simply a means of validating yourself.

If pushed towards behavior that would show "respect" for their "singing skills" what/how much are you willing to sacrifice towards that "respect."

Just as likely you could feel a need to not respect their integrity as a means of keeping yourself from having to make any sacrifices towards any respect you tell yourself you feel for their singing skills and the entire judgment exercise (respect singing skills, don't respect integrity) was simply, ultimately, a means of stroking your own ego according to your desire to perpetuate your self identity.

And all of that could very well be due to nonconscious motivation to judge them as a potential mate.

Decoy effect vs some form of IKEA effect.
Comparing and contrasting and choosing another available option to make your decision more palatable, or building (rationalizing) an option to maintain homeostasis.


Or they may be going through a big mental gymnastics identity game.

Depends on if you think people are complex, or just dumb creatures that can operate on no more than 2 simplistic variables at a time.


Yes.


What traits you consciously see, and what traits your nonconscious self sees, responds to, and gets you to make decisions regarding are completely separate things.

Respecting someone is a judgement, just like detesting someone.
An assessment of the value of others to the self or the value of self to the self.
Merely shades and hues of temperature in the colors of life.

Like love and hate, respect and detest have different degrees of value to each person about each person at any given moment.

Where detest is a negative value,
respect is a positive value.
(for most people trying to assess it)

There are times when detest has a positive result.
There are times when respect has a negative result.

Forced respect from power results in a lie of respect from others.
True respect requires no persuasion. The respect is given freely.

In life, we are told whom to respect.
Respect your elders, respect the CEO of the company you work for, respect this sports icon, this singer, that teacher and so on.
We are expected to respect others that have demonstrated nothing to earn our respect. It causes a conflict inside, increases our stress and shifts our values.
Its the same as someone else telling you whom you should love.
Compliance with someone else's personal judgement.

I agree. I have learned that my respect for elders, is more specifically about a respect for the struggles some have lived through and the lesson they can share, and respect for my own realization that I will some day be where they are..

I have also learned that my respect authority, likewise because of the responsibility I associate them as having to sometimes live up to in order to earn that authority.

I only have that type of blind respect if you will for elders and other 'authority' initially, and then their individual behavior reinforces it or loses it.

with everyone else I respect them as fellow human beings.

But yes, I agree respect is a subjective result of ones own subjective judgement and the priorities they hold to pass judgment about.

I agree with this .

...but what I find more important are people's expectations of how respect should be displayed.

To me, respecting someone doesn't involve condoning everything they say or do, sucking up to them , fearing them or even agreeing with them.

I can see how conflict can arise in any kind of relationship if the above list is their bench mark for respect

I see two primary uses of the concept of respect.

There's personal respect, and there is public or official respect.

Regardless of how one feels about another as an individual, it is important to the continued strength of the society we all live in, that everyone treat each other with EQUAL RESPECT AS CITIZENS.

It is essential to maintaining law and order, and preserving the Constitution and our own rights.

Hello all...

I think respect starts with the idea of one's self.

Do we treat ourselves respectfully?
Meaning.... are we treating our bodies, minds, and spiritual selves with proper nourishment?

If we are then we gravitate toward others who take the same measures and respect goes without saying....

If not, different story.