Topic: Conditioning and choice
msharmony's photo
Tue 07/11/17 12:46 AM
Conditioning is a form of learning in which either (1) a given stimulus (or signal) becomes increasingly effective in evoking a response or (2) a response occurs with increasing regularity in a well-specified and stable environment

For example, a hungry animal will respond to a situation in a way that is most natural for that animal. If one of these responses leads to the reward of food, it is likely that the specific response which led to the food reward will be repeated and thus learned. The behaviour that was instrumental in obtaining the reward becomes especially important to the animal. The same type of conditioning can also be applied to an action that allows the animal to escape from or avoid painful or noxious stimuli.




https://www.britannica.com/topic/conditioning




I was raised that every action in life involves choice , there are always options even when the options are crappy ones

coupled with what I have read about conditioning , I wonder how many of those things that are not obvious conscious 'choices' are a result of conditioning instead

-dogs have been conditioned through repeated experiences to attack people who look a certain way

-children have been conditioned through repeated experiences to find some things 'attractive' and others not

-children have been conditioned through repeated experiences to view -themselves as capable or worthless

-young girls have been conditioned by their interactions with fathers and father figures to view men favorably or unfavorably, or to seek out father figures in their partners or to avoid men all together

THE LIST GOES ON AND ON...




I think the main difference between two children, one who believes they are a loser and one who does not is their conditioning

the former may be told their whole life they are a loser, they may take everything they recognize in themselves as being a 'loser' to reaffirm this as their truth , like building one brick on top of the other , until their reality is a wall that is unsurmountable

the latter may be told in SOME instances the same thing, but have the wherewithall to recognize everything in themselves that is a 'winner' to disprove that reality and build , brick by brick, the reality of their 'winner' wall


I say all this to say,, how much of what we believe to define us and be true about us is the result of the 'wall' we decide(consciously or not) to build and continue to reinforce as our truth?

is it wise to invest time and energy and emotion into building the 'reality' of 'who we are', by choosing which bricks we will continue to insist upon picking up and packing together?




SparklingCrystal 💖💎's photo
Tue 07/11/17 02:21 AM
I think it is always good to invest time to become a better version of yourself, not for others but for yourself, so you feel better.
The thing is that it requires a certain amount of insight, willpower and resilience to even get to the point of wanting to do that.
THere's plenty of ppl who cannot be bothered to learn, who have fully embraced the 'loser' status as a fait accompli.
And there's ppl who aren't even aware that they could do something about it, the ones who have totally identified with the 'loser' status.

I'm also not sure how much you can change. I'm busy with it myself, have been for a long time. Some things are relatively easy to alter, other things take a lot of time. It's like peeling layers of an onion. Sometimes you can remove an entire layer, sometimes it takes years before you can get rid of just part of one.
But yes, it is definitely worth it.

Personally I believe doing this, being able and willing to do this, has to do with soul growth, where you are a soul on your path. Some simply aren't ready just yet. And that is fine. There's not right and wrong in this. I can understand for some it is too scary to remove layers that have formed their identities, have become their identities.
It's not to be underestimated, as mental/emotional state of being -shaped by conditions and beliefs about self- have even manifested in the body. So altering this by removing layers affects not only the beliefs, but also the physical and energetic bodies.

TMommy's photo
Tue 07/11/17 04:42 AM
Edited by TMommy on Tue 07/11/17 04:45 AM
self efficacy
self fullfilling prophecy
oh and I like Pavlov and ole Skinner

person would have to be able to not only recognize
the negative voice in their own head but STOP
the thoughts from effecting their mood and behavior

and then would have to learn how to practice replacing those negatives
with positives

no photo
Tue 07/11/17 04:48 AM

self efficacy
self fullfilling prophecy
oh and I like Pavlov and ole Skinner

person would have to be able to not only recognize
the negative voice in their own head but STOP
the thoughts from effecting their mood and behavior

and then would have to learn how to practice replacing those negatives
with positives


self sufficiency.
well said.

Tom4Uhere's photo
Tue 07/11/17 06:19 AM
how much of what we believe to define us and be true about us is the result of the 'wall' we decide(consciously or not) to build and continue to reinforce as our truth?

is it wise to invest time and energy and emotion into building the 'reality' of 'who we are', by choosing which bricks we will continue to insist upon picking up and packing together?

That is what I decided about 6 years ago. I decided to actually take a close look at the bricks & mortar that made me who I was. I started finding delusions.

I tore down huge sections of the wall at first. Pure garbage of fake bricks. Now, I'm still looking but not finding as many fake bricks as I used to. Sometimes I reach for a brick only to realize it is fake or corrupt and toss it before it becomes part of me. Its getting easier to recognize the good from the bad.

person would have to be able to not only recognize
the negative voice in their own head but STOP
the thoughts from effecting their mood and behavior

This is true and easy to do once we realize we are doing it.
It gets easier when we start seeing the negative and taking measure to actually avoid letting it in.

THere's plenty of ppl who cannot be bothered to learn, who have fully embraced the 'loser' status as a fait accompli.
And there's ppl who aren't even aware that they could do something about it, the ones who have totally identified with the 'loser' status.

In my instance, It took almost dying before I realized I was even in a negative way of life. The majority of my life was experiencing and reinforcing the negative as normal. I even twisted positive things and saw them as negative.
I lived up to the expectations of others and believed that was my normal.

Some simply aren't ready just yet. And that is fine. There's not right and wrong in this. I can understand for some it is too scary to remove layers that have formed their identities, have become their identities.
It's not to be underestimated, as mental/emotional state of being -shaped by conditions and beliefs about self- have even manifested in the body. So altering this by removing layers affects not only the beliefs, but also the physical and energetic bodies.

Once you start finding and accepting your true self it is easier to understand and accept others. You gain a certain sense of clarity in how you see the world.

Our delusions protect us from reality which can be harsh and intimidating. We form associations and give things reason to try to make reality easier to grasp. It gives a sense of order in a chaotic Universe.

Sometimes our delusions fit the model. Like finding a ball in a round peg hole. The hole is there, it is meant to have a round peg in it but a ball is in the hole instead.
The peg wants to be in its place but now there is a ball in the way. We didn't even realize we put the ball there to begin with. Conflict arises and conflict causes stress. To remove the stress, take out the ball and let the peg be where it is meant to be.
Sometimes it is very difficult to get the ball out of the hole. Its a tight fit because we hammered it in. Sometimes it helps to deflate the ball, other times we need to remove the ball by other means like prying it out or getting under it and hammering it out from below.

Some people will say, oh well, it won't come out and ignore the out of place peg.
Some will convince themselves that the ball is better in that hole than the peg and ignore the peg too.
But the peg doesn't go away. Reality is persistent.
Reality is reality.
It isn't dependent on your approval.
It exists as it is whether you like it or not.

We create those brick walls to shield us from the flow of reality.
The problem is that reality gets in no matter what.
You can fight it or learn to go with the flow.
I am learning to ride the waves and let it flow around and thru me. Less resistance that way. Less resistance results in less stress. Less stress results in contentment. Contentment removes restrictions from finding joy.

Basha's photo
Tue 07/11/17 08:27 AM
I thought this was a simple post about "hair conditioners"...*sigh* this is so complex~

Tom4Uhere's photo
Tue 07/11/17 08:57 AM

I thought this was a simple post about "hair conditioners"...*sigh* this is so complex~

Nick, Is your hair giving you problems?
Perhaps you are using too much shampoo and conditioner.
They say (not sure who 'they' is or why 'they' are the authority) people usually don't wash their hair right to begin with.
As a guy, you do have the option of a burr head - it will solve your condition issues, at least for a lil while.

Basha's photo
Tue 07/11/17 01:09 PM


I thought this was a simple post about "hair conditioners"...*sigh* this is so complex~

Nick, Is your hair giving you problems?
Perhaps you are using too much shampoo and conditioner.
They say (not sure who 'they' is or why 'they' are the authority) people usually don't wash their hair right to begin with.
As a guy, you do have the option of a burr head - it will solve your condition issues, at least for a lil while.


Just a dry scalp with dandruff ...I could try burr head...but I'll feel shy around my friends....imagine a cuter Kim Jong un with a burr head....not that his current hairstyle is any good...just saying~

peggy122's photo
Tue 07/11/17 07:26 PM
Edited by peggy122 on Tue 07/11/17 07:50 PM
Conditioning has a huge influence on how we approach challenges, stress, change etc, but there are some traits that are hard to teach, even in the best environment.

You can teach a child to say thanks for example but its harder to cultivate a grateful heart. Its also difficult to impart strength and a hunger for knowledge, although you can create an envronment that is conducive to the conditioning of such traits.

When all is said and done, a person has to have something in them that hungers for a better self and a better life. That kind of hunger often attracts the knowledge , resources and people to create that better self and life that the person yearns for.

Will power can overcome conditioning, but it is a very challenging journey of course

IgorFrankensteen's photo
Sat 07/15/17 06:45 PM
Some very valuable insights in this, but I am very cautious about insights.

It's a very ironic thing, but I have learned that insights, especially new ones, while potentially the most important things a person can gain, can also be traps.

I am also EXTRA jumpy whenever the term "loser" shows up, no matter the context.

All that is a lead up to saying that I think it's a tremendous oversimplification to say "the main difference between two children, one who believes they are a loser and one who does not is their conditioning."

Both the concept of being a "loser," and conditioning of humans, are VERY tricky and complicated things.

Conditioning can backfire. I myself, when I was a kid, chanced to have some very well intentioned people TRY to make me believe in myself more than I seemed to naturally do, and it was so confusing, I deduced instead, that I was incapable of leading myself.

By the way, the reason I really dislike the term "loser," or "winner" when it comes to labeling anyone, isn't because of some romantic or even philosophical consideration. It's because of the finality of the labels, as they are commonly used in slang. We may "win" or "lose" in any given contest, but it's important to know that NEITHER result, ever becomes a permanent aspect of us as humans. I have found that it's true that people who think of themselves as "losers," very much do work to get in their own ways. But I have also found that people who think of themselves as "winners" are often at least as badly self-crippled. They may indeed "win" more often, but they tend to "win" the way a bulldozer does. And their "victories" can often result in negatives accruing. Lack of empathy can be a direct result of thinking of oneself as a "winner."

no photo
Sat 07/15/17 07:01 PM
We create those brick walls to shield us from the flow of reality.
The problem is that reality gets in no matter what.
You can fight it or learn to go with the flow.
I am learning to ride the waves and let it flow around and thru me. Less resistance that way. Less resistance results in less stress. Less stress results in contentment. Contentment removes restrictions from finding joy.

thank you Tom ... this just spoke to me:angel:

Beachfarmer's photo
Sat 07/15/17 07:06 PM
Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?

no1phD's photo
Sat 07/15/17 08:57 PM
I love it when a woman conditions me.. give me a little slap on my bottom when I'm behaving badly. Ouch.. gives me a little slap on my bottom when I'm behaving really good..ohhhh. ouch... but the problem is when she's not around I'm still used to having my bottom slapped I have to do it myself... ouch!! take it easy right hand not so hard..... left hand are you going to let right hand get away with that.. what's that you have your hand full at the moment...ohhj. sorry I almost forgot.. oh I'm sorry right hand you're just offering some encouragement helping out.. left hand... I so like it when you to cooperate..lmao

no1phD's photo
Sat 07/15/17 09:35 PM
I just did something very naughty.. I must be slapped on my bottom...lol.. the conditioning must continue..lol

msharmony's photo
Sat 07/15/17 11:05 PM

Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?



laugh laugh laugh clever

no photo
Sun 07/16/17 03:00 AM
can i choose to be conditioned by the love of my life? what am i saying slaphead

diamond7890's photo
Sun 07/16/17 03:04 AM
Soulmate I m waiting