the term “Cushioning" in dating is defined as being in a relationship or seriously dating someone, yet also keeping around several "cushions"—aka people you text, flirt with, or even date—to cushion the blow if your main relationship doesn't last.

“Monkey Bar Dating” defines the act of not letting go of your present relationship until you have successfully secured a new relationship .

Question:

1. Do you think that “cushioning” and “monkey barring” are setting a precedence for cheating?

2. Do you think that relationships like open relationships/ marriages, swingers, and Friends with benefits, are a subtle way of institutionalising the act of cheating? Or is it an honest expression of what people consider to be natural animal instincts?

Once again you tackle an interesting topic that not many will want to admit.

I really don't have any personal experiences I can relate to this topic because I don't cushion, monkey bar or cheat.

Even as a teen in high school I was a one girl boy. I had a lot of girls that were friends but the act of 'going with' someone was based on full exclusivity. Even while I was in the service and single I never dated more than one woman at a time.

I also don't try to break someone else's relationship for my favor, no matter how many times it has been done to me.

The Tarzan lifestyle...
Jane sometimes grabs the wrong vine.

1. Yes, of course. If those who monkey-bar and cushion had no intentions of cheating they wouldn't do that. The very idea of a cushion suggests cheating. No need to have sex to cheat, a thought is enough because all actions are preceded with thought then intention.
2. All those are simply words to cover the stench of Lust, and that "lifestyle" talk is code word for degrading human beings down to the state of animals. A man is now a "male" and a Woman is now a "female".
And they wonder what's wrong with our youths.

Interesting. I have never heard of these definitions

hmmmm....Not unless Tarzan gave it himself and settled for an Ape...

Some couples can swing with no effect, both being into it and treating it purely at sex games. The monkey with a cushion is different, he may just be tired and using it to lay his head on
No, I think it's a really selfish act, keeping someone on a string until something else comes along!

If you are a committed to monogamy at heart, as you appear to me Tom,these open ended relationship arrangements wont resonate with you in anyway, but it seems to be resonating with a lot of the world right now.

sometimes she grabs a snake instead of a vine Max. Thats where things get tricky lol

Its a slippery slope indeed Rooster. I saw one of my friends do the monkey bar thing when he was leaning towards ending his relationship. He and I argued about it several times. He kept on justifying why it was okay for him to start the recruitment process for a new prospective mate , without ending the relationship with his girlfriend at the time. Im not gonna lie. I was mortified.

They are not terms you will find in the webster dictionary yellowrose lol
It's a street vernacular that I only learned about last year on a couple of women talk shows.

I suspect as with many trends , its been practised for years, but they are now applying a modern term for it.

More definitions to baffle our brains. Lucky us ..

Ps: There is a dating term called breadcrumbing too. Google it if you need yet another reason to make this face ----------

lol twin

Perhaps the thing that separates the cushioning/monkey bar from the swinging/FWB etc is that the latter is honest and transparent, but the first involves a layer of deception?

Dont get me wrong. I fight for people's right to live their lives as they choose, even if I disagree with it (which I often do )

But I stop endorsing people's free choices when it involves any form of dishonesty or infringing upon anybody else's rights, including the right to full disclosure of relationship intentions and rules of engagement

You, disagree? Never
I don't think swinging starts that way. It a decision between a playful couple, the monkey thing however does involve deception to start with. The reason for my is I thought you'd left me out

It often shows not only a lack of character but also a very low self-esteem and, in some cases, a reticence to jump off that bridge marked by cowardice and dishonesty... everything our world seems to drown in nowadays.

Nope . I very seldom ignore people in threads lol. It just takes a while to respond to everyone. :)

If the premise of the monkey bar is that you are attempting to start a new relationship without informing your current mate of this intention, dont you consider that deception by ommission mikey?

Yes, I did say 'the monkey thing 'involves deception

Depends on what you mean by "setting a precedence." My answer to "do all people who make sure to "monkey bar" or "cushion" end up cheating, or intend to...is a flat no. There is no relationship between those two things and cheating. Some people who do those things ALSO cheat, some don't, and lots of people who don't do either one, cheat.

The primary reason for "cushioning" and "monkeybarring," is some variation on insecurity.



Technically, neither and both, and more. Believe it or not, it is possible for people on open marriages to cheat. Cheating is whenever you break your word to your official partner. If you are in an open marriage and you become emotionally committed to someone outside the marriage, that would be cheating. If you have any kind of relationship, and you agree not to play tiddly winks with anyone else and then you do, then you are cheating.

I've seen lots of people who claimed to want one of those arrangements. Some of them were craftily lying, and were using the fancy names of those things to make themselves appear more interesting than the simple lust-mongers that they were. Lots (especially the younger ones) were actually self-deluded. They thought they wanted those things, but actually had no clue, and discovered only too late, that they didn't enjoy it at all when their partner enjoyed themselves with others. I saw several who really didn't love anyone, and chose those arrangements because they could pretend that they did. And I even ran across a few who really did want exactly what they set up.

Sorry mikey. I tgought you had used the word "didnt"

Thats why I was confused . Sorry. The words on this phone are so darn tiny! :(