Do you ever get messages from men or woman... did you look at them and read there profile and think to yourself..wtf..
On what planet do you think we will be a match..!!. they send you emails trying to get your attention.. does this type of thing cause you to reevaluate where you place yourself on the dating scale..
Maybe you think you're a 7 but really you're only A..4.... or are these people that try to reach out to you ,just a little bit delusional and misguided.
.Or do You think they're just throwing mud at the wall to see what sticks..
That's my theory..lol..anyway..
I can only imagine the bashing I'm going to take from this one.. right Crystal...lol.

Interestingly enough men and womens priorities are quite different as men tend toward physical beauty whereas women can find success, affluence, style, intelligence, personality sufficient to trump appearance... so its very possible for mismatches to happen just as Jackie Kennedy married Aristotle Onassis who was 5 ft four and not Cary Grant by any stretch though he did have several billions to pad his appearance and height.

The question is why are here ?
What's your purpose?

This kind of app can give hope to other people Sir specially to those loveless & heart broken. You don't have to answer all those mails if you don't want to cause at the end the decision still depends on you. If two people destined to fall with this kind of app then let them, be happy and live a life.

I have a son and
three nephews all in their twenties..sat around talking about this phenomena
how it seemed to them only 'ugly' chicks were the ones
who had no qualms about approaching them in public..in a bar
asking for a dance, offering to buy them drinks
and flirting outrageously with them..

they too wondered why that is

Are you susuggesttting I might ppppossibly not bbbbbe a tttten?

Could be worse... They could get turned down by the drunk "ugly" chicks in the bar..

@soulfie nay you're not a ttttten. You're an eeeeelven.

I think they throw messages out there and see what responds...
I am fairly secure on where I am on the scale and I don't re-access just because I get messages from persons who may be mis-guided (didn't read my profile, their location/age, etc.)..

I excepted a long time ago that none of the girls I found even remotely attractive find me attractive in any way shape or form. So speaking as a zero I respond to all that message me but I do my best to let them know that nothing will ever come from this encounter online. The conversations are at the very least entertaining but in the end they always get board and stop replying.

it might be explained this way to them... very handsome well put together man... confident and successful.. full of pride in himself
Two women..
One woman is not very attractive.. or maybe she is..but
her life is not completely in order. Is not confident or successful. Not very prideful
She will look at the man up-and-down and desire him because he possesses the things she does not have.. or wishes to be

The second woman attractive successful confident.. full of pride in herself.
She will walk past the man and just give him a small look...
She does not need to chase him she is confident that he will come to her..
Because she possesses the same qualities that he does... and she doesn't require that from him..

I hope this helps

soufie, no you are not a ten, you are an 11....



And to NO1's question, I don't have this issue. I only get the standard junk messages from fake profiles.... and since I don't message ladies, I am not part of the problem...

Hiya No1! I feel flattered you were thinking of me!
Lo' and behold, I have nothing bad to say to you. I never do anyways, I only speak tha truth, haha.
But I agree with you on this one. Been there too. Maybe it is indeed chucking mud at a wall, or hoping to get someone 'out of their league' so they get validation? Like the old fart that's ruling America has this pretty ex-model hanging on his arm. I cannot imagine she gets aroused by the old geezer. The hair would turn me off for sure, prolly gets worse when he undresses. Yuk.
Oh well, digressing. I think it's best to take it as a compliment, even though it can get irritating. The other extreme, never getting any interest, wouldn't be nice either.

Well, I think it's personal for everyone. But for me, it really doesn't matter how well they are dressed or how much money they have on bank account. It's more about how we connect to each-other. With someone you just find common language easily, he makes you open yourself and you feel comfortable about that. I would be much happier sitting and enjoying free sunset in my backyard with that person instead of going to fancy restaurant with another with whom I even don't have talk about anything. The same about physical appearance... What I may find attractive, may not be for others. I have never been into model type men. For me it's more about masculinity and originality. So, it's OK to pay for his dinner, but not carry heavy bags while he's walking hands in a pocket.

Ditto, I feel the same way.

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Okay, I may be a touch out of topic ,
but this always works for me to TEST MY SANITY
when it happens or when I am in a CONFUSING situation
as described by the OP above

?

Actually, I personally decided for various reasons, a long while back now, to discipline myself NOT to make a judgment of what other people are thinking.

Partly because it's easy to be wrong, partly because it usually doesn't MATTER for the decision I have to make (since the decision is based on me, and not on them)...and partly because whatever label I decide to slap on a complete stranger actually only proves to the world what's wrong with ME.

Ultimately humans just like what they like regardless of how society rates us , and people will pursue whatever appeals them without any thought to whether they will be deemed appealing by the object of their desire or not.

And I will also venture to say that many of us are guilty of having skewed perceptions of ourselves .
I think many of us see ourselves as the person we were in our 20s because in many ways , we still feel like that person on the inside . We know that changes are happening to us but we are clueless about how visible and unappealing these changes might be to random strangers who are observing us .

Conclusion:Even if we consider ourselves to be a solid 8 on society's scale , bet your bottom dollar that there are dozens of strangers out there who will easily rate us as a 6 or possibly even less., whether its based on our looks, personality or financial status.

But ultimately we should be confident in ourselves regardless of society's rating of us , and at the same time try to be as gracious as we can in our appraisals of the people who dont meet our high standards.

I'm at multiple online dating sites. At one, you can rate the profiles anonymously. On a scale of 1 to 10 I am a 7.5 and have quite a few 10s. Yet, still, I am mostly contacted by scammers and women with 5 and under ratings. On the few times I have rated profiles, those women that get a higher rating (6 and up) have certain qualities I am looking for. I have rated women 10 when their average rating is less than 5 because of those qualities.

In real life I have noticed that I got more attention when I was with someone or had my wedding ring on than I do now. I think that is because when a man is with a woman other women find him attractive, perhaps because if they think he is taken there is something about him that makes him desirable. I have noticed women checking me out from afar but I am the type of guy that waits for the woman to show personal interest first. (Goes back to my manager training on workplace sexual harassment) If I do ask a woman, I will only ask once.

Personally I don't operate under a self-rating system. I don't really give my own rating much thought. I write my profiles as I see fit to tell a bit about my nature. I try not to shoot myself in the foot. When I write a message I ask questions based on what interests me about that woman. When I respond I try to answer concerns and offer related information to build a dialog. My forum posts are written to show how I see the subject at hand, not to get approval or illicit an emotional outburst.

Being alone for all these years has allowed me to do some serious self-reflection. I have bad habits and good habits and everything in between. I understand myself better now than ever in my life. By understanding myself, understanding my own desires and making clearer choices I have found that I can understand others better. To me, rating systems are flawed because they are usually based on specific attributes you assign to others in your searches. I have found that not rating allows me to see great diversity in both myself and others. That diversity gives life the adventure.

I set specific guidelines to determine my participation with someone in online dating. If they do not have certain attributes in their profile, I do not respond.
Location:
I will drive 10 hours to be with someone. So my cutoff is 600 miles. I prefer 20 miles because to build a relationship it requires face to face time together. 10 hours is the cutoff because anything over that distance requires too much virtual participation to make a real relationship meaningful. At 20 miles we can meet in real life much sooner.
Age Range:
She must be over 45 years old. Must be under 65 years old. I am 55 years old. My father was 8 years older than my mother, I was 8 years older than my X, my sister is 8 years older than me. I have seen how relationships with 10 year age differences can be and I can accept that. What I do not want id a child-like woman that has very little wisdom. Wisdom is built from experience, too young and you become a teacher, often in the wrong ways. I also want to have a significant relationship that lasts, too old and I risk age related problems that interfere with the relationship.
Smoker:
I smoke. I want to quit but I am weak. I will not pursue a woman that is a non-smoker because smoking is nasty and I can't do that to someone that doesn't already do it to themselves. If I ever quit smoking, I know that my choices will increase significantly but until I do I am locked in that restriction.

Emotional Maturity:
This is something that I must adhere to when searching for the right woman. The emotional roller coaster is too bumpy and twisted to enjoy. I want a woman that is in control of herself. She wants to be with me because she thinks I am best for her. She will be a doer not a sayer. She will understand honesty in a relationship works both ways.

Believe it or not, I find many women that fit some of those guidelines. Emotional maturity is the one that usually gets in the way. That is vetted by conversation and time.

I see many women that fit the emotional maturity standards I set right here in the community forums. Every single one of them are too far distant. Just because an in-person relationship is not possible, doesn't mean I don't value their friendship.

All in all I have to say that rating systems are a bunch of bullcacca. Both personal and towards others. We are all different so comparing ourselves or others to a rating standard is ineffective. Better to just learn to be yourself and allow others to accept you or not. Allow others to be themselves and accept them or don't. The last thing you want to do is worry about things of which you have no control.

I love fishing these waters :-)

Inside every woman is a cougar trying to get out...
some are just deeper inside.

It would really depend on the personality...so not All....lol