why is it hard to find a woman who is really ready for commitment ,,some just want sex ,,i am not a sex toy,,,i want commitment and partnership love and care ,,,somebody explain !!

Girls tend to not be attracted to men who appear to really need and want them. It seems counter-intuitive but most women do express that they like "confident men," and i think that means a man who is on his purpose and rather than make her ALL of his life, can make her part of his life.

Most real women are.

On these dating sites many of the women that are looking are mature adults that have had relationships that did not survive time. They get bombarded by men that are rude, crude and insensitive to their needs and desires. The genuine men are few and far between. Sometimes their expectations of us keep them from responding.


Keyword is some... Everyone wants love but some people think love comes after sex. Men tend to believe (not all) that if she is good in bed that everything else is second. That if the sex is good, love will find its way in. Women that just want sex (real women) are playing the part that they think will attract men. Like dangling a beer or a steak in front of you. I believe that most women seek love before sex.


Girls and boys are immature versions of women and men. Mature adults want to be needed and everyone needs to be wanted by someone. The attraction to confidence works both ways. In a mature and loving relationship both parties reinforce each others confidence.

I've learned that every person on an online dating site is here for their own reasons. Some are superficial personifications of themselves and some are genuine. There are a lot of scammers because most people using these sites are easily persuaded. Of the small percentage of genuine souls, only a smaller percentage of those will actually have the qualities you seek. Of those, only a smaller fraction will see you with the qualities they seek.

If you are seeking someone specific you must first know yourself. Then write your profile to show that one potential match who you are and who you are looking for. If you participate in the community, consistently reinforce the personality and goals you established in your profile. Try to remember that not every woman you make contact with is here for the same reason you are. Start removing those that do not fit your search requirements.

For most people it will only take one match to end the search. The question is, will you recognize that match if it happens?

That's too bad. Not to be critical, but if you write what you're looking for in a relationship in your profile you might weed out some of the women who are only looking for sex. In settings you can also say you don't want anyone just looking for "an intimate encounter" to contact you. Home this helps and good luck.

I'm not a sex toy...more like one of those squeaky chew toys.

.... this really resonates with me...

Hmmmmm... I wonder how you present your desire for commitment to a woman?

I can only speak for myself but when men request a commitment from me after only a couple weeks of interaction or if they come across as being super intense about wanting/needing a relationship in general in our first couple of convos, I run as fast as my chubby little legs will take me.

I find it CREEPY ..

But if that doesn't describe you, then maybe its just not your time for a relationship as yet. Many of the people on here havent found their soulmate as yet. We all have to be patient with the process although its easier said than done, and its only human to feel frustrated at times. Most of us go through it.

I hope you find all you desire in the right time nickturner

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I wouldn't worry too much .

Just reply to them that you a Mountaineering type of man
which is often called Alpinism model, and obsessed with sex
while tied to the ropes when cliff climbing.

Well its like this Nick, you don't have to put up with all that sex stuff... Yuck!!!

Just sent them over my was so I can talk to them about the error of their ways... in private.. of course.

I'll volunteer, and put in the required basic observation: when the results you get, repeatedly fail to pleas you, it often means that your PROCESS for getting those results, is what is directly CAUSING them.

In other words, women who complain that they always end up with guys who only want sex, often base their decision about who to try out, on sexual attraction and how eager the guy seems to be to "do things" with them. So duh, they end up with guys eager to have sex.

Males who complain that the WOMEN are the ones playing things that way, in my experience, are either flat out lying (it's a common trick for a guy to pretend that women are always coming on to him, and that he's the "sensitive committed type," to fool the women who WANT that, into letting him trash their beds); or are themselves only going after women who are aggressively eager to make it all about sex as soon as possible.

So ponder how you are making your decisions on who to look for/meet up with, if you REALLY have a problem with "too much sex-object" stuff.

Me thinks someone doth protest too much.