I'm just mad I wasted the time to read thru this.

I always tell women...if you can find better, don't let the doorknob plug ya' on the way out.

I never offered that pass to my EX but he just took it upon himself to take it..... that is one of the reasons he became an EX....lol

been there and done that too

with my first, it was love of the all encompassing type and the physical part was a unique bonding period that I did not wish to share with anyone else,, I wanted him to feel the same way and would never have given him a 'pass'


with my second, it was love, more of the nurturing kind and the physical part was the 'expected' responsibility so that I was willing to share it just as easily as sharing a meal, by the time he was ready to take me up on it, I took back the 'pass' and shortly after , our marriage ended.


that offer is a dangerous one to ever make if the love is the real and all encompassing type, reality is often much more complex than the hypothetical

That was one of my thoughts the other was how did she frame the pass...

Maybe the start of just another 'Open Marriage' situation.

The responses here are very mononormative.

My wife and I have been polyamorous for over a decade. Permanent passes for both, and our marriage works very well, although our romance faded after about 8 years, we are still best friends and co-parents who live together and respect each other.

IME, equating respect with the idea of never wanting intimacy with anyone else is a train wreck waiting to happen. I understand that, if a couple has chosen monogamy, that acting on outside desires is unacceptable, but wanting to is not disrespectful. It's nature.