Ok, I am fairly new to this. I was hoping for some tips on how to "break the ice" as far as when you are mutually matched and just start the message/chat exchange.

I have just been sending a message saying "Hi", but wasnt sure if I should add more or wait for a response. I dont wanna be pushy but also dont want to seem as if I have nothing more to say. I guess what I am asking is what do some of you all message when you reciece a mutal match.

Feel like an idiot asking, but I really want to get the most outta this site.

Starting off by saying hi is a good idea. Also post a lot in the forums that way the ladies can check you out by the quality of your posts. Also add some more info about yourself to the ladies in your initial message

Read their profiles, see if you have any thing in common, then besides HI, talk about something you have in common..just don't come straight off and tell a lady she's beautiful and all that cuz frankly it reeks of bs lines ya know

One thing I'm really bad about is being the first one to message someone. I have a ton of mutual matches, but have never talked to half of them because I don't message them first, and if they don't message me, we just don't talk. But I agree with Cherub. Read their profiles and see what you have in common. Striking up a question is a good start, I think. Don't just say "Hi, how are you today?" Because there's not a lot to talk about there.

Keep it simple. Don't expect a response. When you do get a response don't expect further responses.

You are more likely to meet someone at your local church function, bar, social event, ....

I say become as involved as you can handle with outside groups. You'll fair better. I think of this site as a fun way to talk and keep up skills.

I'm way better in person than in the virtual world.

Lastly, enjoy and don't stay on this site forever like some people.... Get out. If you have over 10,000 posts I say there's something not exactly right. But that's just me.

John

Wise words everyone, thanks. I especially like what you had to say John, but I gotta admitt..I havent had much luck in the "real world", so I figure doing this cant hurt.

John is absolutely right about this. My experience with internet dating has been feast or famine. I'll go for weeks or months and never get a response to an email and then I'll get three dates in two weeks. Then it's back to no responses.

It may be cynical of me, but it is my opinion that a lot of people at sites like this come here to AVOID communicating with others. They want to window shop, though, and chatting with their matches isn't a high priority. I know that I use the internet to avoid face-to-face, but I am a communicator by nature, so I don't fall into that trap.

I agree wholeheartedly John....

Unless u can jump threw the screan across state to state...then not a bad deal....

I sat day in and day out in front of the computer.....for many reasons..incluging..wanting to but not ready to date...

No comp for the past few months...I am not addicted.....and hope not to again....

I even read about 10 books.....and went out...lol

Being on the message boards reading and sometimes chiming in is great to....

For me...I am happy

JustsayHi has actually been a great experience of beutiful raw emotions of support....

A lot of great people here.Unlike other sites.I'll take the missing time in between..then get a e-mail of beautiful words..and to give the same back..

JustsayHi has actually been a great experience of beutiful raw emotions of support....

A lot of great people here.Unlike other sites.I'll take the missing time in between..then get a e-mail of beautiful words..and to give the same back..

Well I didnt have high expectations coming into this, but like I said it cant hurt. I am just tired of being single, tired of the games and who knows MAYBE that special someone is out there feeling the same way and Fate will lead us both to try something we normally wouldnt...such as a site like this.

<Shrug>
Ya never know

Starting a conversation is easy. You start off with any standard ice-breaker ("Hey, how are you doing today?" isn't a bad one), then find something in her profile that you yourself have an interest in and start talking about that.

Now, does this guarantee a response? Of course not. Why not? I wish I knew. :S

"I have a ton of mutual matches, but have never talked to half of them because I don't message them first, and if they don't message me, we just don't talk."
Doesn't that seem just a LITTLE bit counterproductive, Sweet_Dreams? You're in here for dating, yes? If you see a guy who catches your fancy, just go ahead and e-mail him! Why should you have to wait for him to e-mail you first? Maybe he figures you're out of his league and sees writing you would only be an act in futility. Who the hell are you to make men go through life thinking that way? :P

"Don't expect a response. When you do get a response don't expect further responses."
If you adopt this attitude, you may as well not even e-mail anyone in the first place. If you're not expecting them to mail you back, what reason do you have to have any sort of initial drive?

"You are more likely to meet someone at your local church function, bar, social event"
If that were true, you wouldn't even BE here. The "normal" methods of getting girls has (for whatever reason) failed you, and this is a medium where you can communicate more openly than you ever could face to face.

"I'm way better in person than in the virtual world."
Then why are you even here?

Ahhh....nothing says "hello" like a photo of ones penis.....( You would not believe how many guys use THAT as an ice breaker..

Ash I too have only been on dating sites for a short time. Had alot of fakes and scammers approach me but no one real. Since this was all new to me I wrote a poem to release some frustrations think it hit the nail on the head mostly.
Don't know if "mr right" is on here but enjoy chatting and try to just take it as that. Kinda like to flirt. But do think there's alot of window shoppers online scared to show themselves.


Online Dating Blues

Online Dating that’s what I’m Hating
Never thought I’d be doing this
Searching for my friend
Don’t even know where to begin
This is all new to me
Who knows the rules?

The games that are played online
They talk and then they stop
They only want to window shop
Thinking they know who you are
By printed words
From distances so far
It’s cold and judgmental in here

Watch and wait for contact
To bold then…
You’re a stalker
To shy then…
You don’t care
Do you have a web cam?
Who do you think I am!
What ever happened to just friends?

Tired of being lonely
Someone has to start
Looking for my one and only
Words to fill my heart with joy
A glance and I shiver with excitement
A touch to feel safe and content
Want to hear the music in my soul?
Touch me deep from within your heart

Longing for the way it was
Not understanding this new cyber sea
How can we know
Without eyes connecting
Seeing the response to our voices
Only one way to see inside
So why does everyone want to hide

To be anyone you want
And afraid to be themselves
Only to be disappointed
Bearing your soul to a stranger
In hopes they will care
Only to find no one is there
Online Dating that’s what I’m Hating

On a positive note
Look at what I wrote
Just words running
Through my head
My fears, dreams, and confusion
lacileo signing out

pay attention to the girls profile. If you have something in common, mention it to her. I get a few emails back when I talk about her profile

Trying saying hi and giving a brief (1 or 2 sentences) reason for why you're messaging someone.

For example: "Hi. Just wanted to say hi. Your profile caught my eye and I was interested in possibly chatting. Thanks."

Something along those lines. Hope this helps.

So many guys have tried that with me, not bothering to read my profile where it says I'm gay. Regardless, they send dick pics or come right out and ask if I want to f**k them as their ice breakers. I think it scares off more people then it gets to talk to you.

The other one will not know what to respond to a "Hi"
So do ANYTHING BUT "Hi"
Hi... Hi is useless.
you want that Woman to talk to you. give her something to talk about. Throw her a rope, make it easy for her.

what i do is throw a silly comment, a half-insult or an elaborate question that shows i have red, and understoof their Profile.

No, this is not a sure-fire way to get a proper reply.
need to gauge if she is chill or stuck up - not easy. Might backfire on you and you get a slap across the face.

But such is life...

You wanna get the most out of this site - what is it you want?
72 virgins or just a good laugh?

ask for nothing.
then you can not be dissappointed.


That will make you relax, and when you got nothing to lose, women quickly understand that you are confident or at least laid back.
And confident and laid back dudes rock.

Needy Horny Toads not - they are creepy as hell.

So no "marry me " questions either.

Uhhh,guys ? This thread is from 2007. I don't see anyone from above the previous 2 posts on the forum anymore. Just sayin'

Uh yeah, the guy has probably already found the love of his life on here is married and has three kids.