I copied this from another post that I made on another thread. I would like to hear others thoughts about it.

Here is something that I've noticed about the great majority of women on dating sites. They never seem to want to ask a man anything about himself. The man has to ask everything about the woman. If he doesn't, he's not showing enough interest. For anyone to have a conversation with another person, there has to be a give and take between them.

One cannot carry the whole conversation by themselves. It would absolutely thrill me for a woman to ask me about myself in conversation. But, in the past 11 years that I've been doing this online thing, I would say that 98% of women never ask me about myself. I find it odd that they go out with me, but never ask anything about me. I find it odd that if I didn't just come out and start telling about myself, they would never know about anything concerning me.

But, if I'm not constantly asking about every aspect of their lives, they think I'm not interested. Shouldn't it work both ways?

Hmmm. Really ? That is one of the first questions I ask.Maybe I'm just nosey .

It's rather the opposite with me. With many, not all... There are some really cool people on here. But the ones that do? They ask questions so fast that I can only answer theirs, and not really ask them... They also don't answer the questions I do get to ask, because they keep asking more questions.

AND.... they ask questions that they could easily find IN MY PROFILE, so I know they didn't bother reading it... Inquisitive minds I guess....

I think it reads like one guy coming up with a narrative or paradigm for his experience that fits his personal bias and what he wants to believe.

I mean:

If he's not psychic then he doesn't really know what they are thinking.

Seems little different than:
"Do you want me to do the dishes?"
"I want you to want to do the dishes."
"There! I did the damn dishes!"
"It's over."
"WTF is up with women? They want you to do the dishes, but when you do them they break up with you! I guess I have to constantly be doing dishes. Shouldn't they be doing dishes? It's supposed to work both ways! And the thing is when I put pictures on my profile of me doing dishes I'm not getting any response!"

Well mostly i get questions about myself and ask them questions back.. So most of my "real" conversations are pretty much back and forth..

When they only ask questions about me and do not answer the ones I ask them the old red flag goes up..

And if they volunteer a whole lot of info about themselves off the bat. They are either new to all of this or are working an angle. So I deal with them cautiously.

As for them asking questions answered in my profile? I take that as a sign the translator program they are using is not working. Lol.

im always asking questions about guys if im interested in getting to know them, its not nosey :-)

Congratulations on having managed thousands of dating site dates. Most of us don't come near that many (That's what's necessary for the "the great majority of women on dating sites" behaving as you describe).

How many actually said out loud that they thought you weren't interested unless you constantly asked more and more questions?

My own experience with far fewer women, has been that the ones who asked nothing, varied quite a bit with why. Most simply weren't asking, because they had decided already that they weren't interested in me past the immediate whatever it was. Some, didn't ask, because they were shy. Some didn't ask, because they thought they knew all about me already.

But heck, some people in general don't ask about personal details, because they are more interested in right now, than in the past.

mmmmm...I tend to ask so many it feels like a job interview

I think most men want to cut to chase, make a deal, not waste time and women want to talk about it, take their time and have feelings and shite



RUN ! Before they tell ya, how we are wrong in our thinking.

Hum? I never really counted. Over the past 11 years, I would say that out of the 20 or 30 that I've dated and one relationship that lasted almost a year, all of them at one time or the other said that I never asked enough questions about them. Even though they never asked one about me. And still dated me anyway.

By the way, I've dated no one from here. I contact no one on this site. Too many fakes and scammers here.

Do you have to ask questions? I noticed men tend to ask question upon question upon question.
I personally don't like that at all. I'm not on a job interview, yet that's what it feels like with many.

If there's a click, you just have a nice conversation. A conversation is not a job interview. Okay, there may be the occasional question, but not just questions. You get to know someone through conversation, and you get to know if there's a click through conversation.
If conversation doesn't flow, then you better part ways again. No amount of question will change that. If nothing else, it will only be annoying.
I know men don't find questions annoying, I know I do. And from what I've heard, I'm not the only woman who dislikes getting asked questions. So I will not complain about a guy not asking questions either.
His interest in me will show in other things. And like I said, the occasional question will come up. Like it does in any good conversation.
So learn to just have a normal, good conversation. Far more important than going through a list of questions.

Do you have children? Do you have siblings? What time do you get up? Do you have a pet?
Who bleeping cares? First you gotta establish if there's a click, chemistry. Without that, the rest is meaningless.

lot of that info can just be listed on a profile anyway

Men on most dating sites are told to ask questions. It's suppose to show interest. At least that's what we are told.

what about if women does all the questioning? what does that say about the man then?

I despise feeling like I am in an interrogation. I firmly believe in a ebb and flow of conversation... questions will come up on both sides.

Huge turn off for me is playing 20 questions back when I was single if a guy started that I was gone..,.

I am always asking questions.
I have been accused of asking to much questions.
I guess it depends on the person you are talking to.
There are some questions I don't ask because it's not my business.

Me too I always ask the guy alot of questions about themselves but alot of them don't reciprocate - maybe you could steer some of those nice caring men my way? lol

Perhaps you are like me talk too much and ask too much when you do that woman tend to stop asking and eventually setting up there mind to enjoy good time and end it smoothly

Women are not a study group. Each individual is their own person. It is inaccurate and unfair to class all women (or men) into a commonality as a basis for methodology. Courting is a personal endeavor that is done in the present with a specific person.

Questions can be general and nosy or they can be personal and revealing.

"I think you're beautiful. Do you get a lot of men contacting you?

or

"I love that picture of you in the red sweater! What were you doing that day that made you so happy?"

How you list the questions also has a lot to do with the dialog.

1. What is your favorite food to cook?
2. What is your favorite color?
3. Who is your favorite band?

I see you like cooking. I love to cook casseroles. Do you have a favorite dish that you love to make?

I noticed you have many different color outfits on in your profile pictures. Is there one specific color that makes you feel whole? I tend to like Earth tones and hunter green is my favorite.

You listed that you like classic rock. I do too. One of my favorite bands is Bad Company, I could listen to them on any occasion. So many good bands to choose from, who would you say is your favorite?

When you are asked questions, how you respond is also important.

They ask: "How are you doing today?"

If you reply..."Fine" you are setting the tone of the answers they can expect from you. You have also ended the conversation.

Answering:
"Right now, I'm content with my day. Nothing out of the ordinary has happened except that I got a message from you. It made me feel happy that you are interested in me. I have some things to do later but this evening I am free if you would like to chat awhile?" actually answers the question and asks a new one which allows for future response.

Where I have problems is I forget that others are on their phones. I am on a desktop computer. Long messages look differently to me than what can be seen on a phone. Typing those messages is very different for me than for someone typing out a response on a phone. For those reasons, their replies are often short and specific. I find that I have to try to 'read into' what is written to try to figure out what it is they actually want to know.

Conversations with endless questions are not effective to the purpose of online dating sites. Online dating sites are only a means to find someone that might be compatible to who you desire. It is like an index of files. Once you find the file that interests you, you are supposed to open it and read it in more depth personally.

That means, Find the person online. Read all about them from their profile. Contact them and determine if there is common interest by asking a few pertinent questions and revealing some personality. Take the conversation off the dating site to a more personal method once you determine that person is who they claim to be. It might be phone conversation or Skype? The goal is to finally meet face to face. That will not happen unless trust is gained by both parties.