Very body in my family is always telling me, That I'm the rock of the family, They all come to me for advice Or help, I'm to the point I can't be that person anymore,,,

My dad is 57 years old, and for the past 4 years he has been in a nursing home,,He is on a vent plus oxygen,,Has stage 2 diabetes,We just found about a year ago he has "Lou Gerricas Disease,"I Think I Spelt It Right"

My mom is 54 years old, she has been go back and forth to the doctors, Well the s'morning we found out she has liver cancer,,I started to cry right there at the doctor,,People were looking at me as if I was a crary,,

I'm a single mom of 4 children, My dad in the nurseing home, My mom with liver cancer,, The one my family comes to for help and advise,,

When is there ever gonna be time for me,,, Is this a test from god,,, As of Oct, 17th, this year I'll have 10 years clean and sober,,, Is it a test,,,

I don't know how to answer you but maybe its time you sat your family down and tell them you can't shoulder the burden alone anymore.I'm sure they will be willing to help you.Sorry to hear about your mom and dad.congrats on the clean and sober.sending prayers and a big hug to you and yours..

Sweety your time will come...

I felt for many years that I had the weight of the world on my
shoulders for years...

Somethings are hard to understand- but I have allways looked
at things people go through- far worse then me.

It has helped me to cope with what I have had to cope with.

Friends that will listen is good too...

Hey, C!

I commend you for your 10 years of sobriety! That is just totally awesome!! I can't imagine how much effort that has taken on your part! Way to go!!!!

As for the family stuff...don't feel bad for feeling tired or exhausted. Sometimes we are so hard on ourselves and wish that we could make things better, but sometimes we just have to admit we can only handle so much, you know?

You're doing ok, C! Keep posting here if you need to vent a little. It's not much, but hopefully our posts will help lighten up your day a bit.

Thank You,, I think the only friends i have are here at justsayhi,When i need to talk people hear listen to me,, And help me more than they know,,, And I Thank You for that,,,,

Congratulations on your sobriety...I'm proud of you! I'm also proud, that you've reached out...that's always a good thing to do. I will pray for your continued strength and resolve. I will also pray, that your family members step up to the plate, which in your case is quite full. You just continue to be a good daughter...continue to take care of yourself...continue to be strong for you.

Vent any time you need to. It is hard to be super person all the time. Sorry to hear about your loss. Congrats on the sober time. One day at a time. Got to wait three more hours to go to my meeting at NA. Been having to stretch my money so I can get my priorities straight. Hey, if you ever need to chat give me a hollar. Lost a spouse two and a half years ago and a girlfriend two months later to heart attacks. Wonderful people who helped me came to this site from another site. Take care because we all need someone at one time or another.

No need to thank any of us, C!

I'll take friends and good support in any way I can too!

JSH is great when you need a little boost sometimes, isn't it?

Hang in there! I'll be thinking of you!

Many people go through hardships in their lives, some harsher than others.
The trauma of having four children to look after as well as the pain and distress of both parents illnesses will be overwhelming. You will feel that the world is on your shoulders, and that there is no way out. Prayer, belief and faith will at present be the greatest help spiritually. Physically, and mentally, you may feel exhausted.
You've had the faith, belief and strength to stay clean and sober for 10 years. Be assured, that if you can beat that, you can beat anything, and you WILL enjoy 'You time', as well as many others who have gone through traumatic times.
THERE IS ALWAYS A LIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL!

congrats on you time. remember your real reliance is always
upon him. do what we do in the begining, ask for help.
i am responsable when anyone anywhere reaches out for help, i want the hand of aa to always be there, for that i am responsable. my ear is open.
take care and may god bless and keep you,
until then
george

Colleen...Congratulations on your sobriety!!!! AS for all that family stuff....yes..you sound like a rock...but there is nothing wrong with crying and letting things out....That is a lot take on especially when u have 4 children of your own to take care of!!! So dont worry...God will surely watch over you and help you! God Bless you!!

Congratulations on the sobriety. But seriously you do need to sit down with your family and let them no that you can not handle this burden on your own. Yes you may be strong but you are still only human and even you need times where you can be weak and have somebody else be YOUR rock. Your family may not even be truly aware of how much pressure there putting on you to be the strong one. If that is indeed the case then talking with them will truly help to left some of the weight off your shoulders. I wish you the best of luck.

Girl if u need a friend to talk with I will listen... sometimes its easier to talk with a stranger than with family... I really mean it if u want to talk i will listen... I hope everything works.. email me sometimes... i can always use another good friend...
Sincerely,
Lorrie

Hey girl....You can only do so much. Everyone has a breaking point. Congrats on being sober! That's great! Clearly you are a strong person, you can do this, but ALLOW yourself to cry and grieve, and allow yourself to ask for help when you need it! You are only one person! Take care, and good luck!

Well first you need to take a deep breath. I do not know how close you are to the Lord. But if you are you need to think of every single person in your family first before yourself. And then when every one has gone to bed like the (kids) it is okay to scream even cry. If you have older kids sit and talk to them. Let them know that right now it is time for GRANDPARENTS.They have done for you and your kids ( I hope) now you do for them. God alaways plays a role in things that rise in our lifes. I have a journal and I prey for people that i know need a preyer. I will add you to my journal if it is okay with you. Now it is your time to shine for your mom and dad. Let your childern see how strong you are. And your weekness insdide the Lord will see. And he will help you be strong. Trust my words. Just a little bit about me. I am going ten years in teaching my daughter about life as a SINGLE mom. And I have never ever complain. Want to know why. Men come and go for reasons that it is hard for us to understand.But our childern the work we put in to them is the best gift we can ever give them . Keep me post on what is going on with u. Someone who cares.

ColleenAnn,

Sometimes events work out so that we feel crushed and helpless. Have you asked Jesus to assure you of your salvation? If you ask that and you are saved, you will know it. That's the first step. Next, remember the story of Jacob in Genesis 32, when Jacob wrestled with God. God realized that Jacob would struggle until he died, so God crippled Jacob. Eventually, Jacob came to realize that this was a blessing, becuase he no longer relied on himself, he had to rely on God. Maybe something similar is happening to you. Perhaps you need to put more trust in God. Give God your problems, Jesus will carry them for you. I find that whenever I have a problem, I simply have to put the problem down and ask Jesus to carry it for me. Then I know that everything will work out for the best. Feel free to email me if you have any questions about what I have posted.

God bless.

I got your Hi!! Send me stuff on my email. You have a new friend .

You need to vent.....its normal. This type of stress is all too common and you need for your sake and your kids, to step back for a moment.........breathe......take some time for you as well.

As someone who took care of my mom for 12 years before she went into a nursing home, I know alot about the stress you are feeling....anger, sadness, not too many happy moments there. If you dont do something for yourself and your kids, you will burn out.....I know and have.

I know there is a lot on your plate right now but do you think your parents want to be a burden on you right now??? Think of what they may be going through as well......try to get a happy balance even if its just going to the park with your kids, or taking a much needed weekend vacation by yourself......you will be happy you did.

good luck and prayers of strength and guidance to get you through this situation you are going through

My parents are dead. And they say you grow up when you parents die. I hate to be the one to say this but find a counselor that can walk you through this. Then, make sure after one or the other dies, you grieve properly, and not internalize.

When your father dies, there goes the anchor rock, but when your mother dies, there goes your best friend, and sometimes you don't know it.

10 years sober? You deserve something better than this. You are a victim of life yourself and so deserving of more.
Sometimes life is not very fair.
You must fortify yourself, and be strong for your children, but most of all, yourself.