WHY IT IS IMPORTANT TO
UNDERSTAND ENGLISH!

I had a bunch of Canadian dollars I needed to exchange, so I went
to the currency exchange window at the local bank

Short line. Just one guy in front of me...an Asian guy who was trying
to exchange yen for dollars and he was a little irritated.

He asked the teller, "Why it change?? Yestoday, I get two hunat dolla
for yen. Today I get hunat eighty?? Why it change?"

The teller shrugged his shoulders and said, "Fluctuations" .

The Asian guy says, "Fluc you white people too!"

Now ladies you gotta admit this is kinda funny...


For Men
Guy Stuff




Why did God give men penises?
So we'd have at least one way to shut a woman up.



What's the difference between a paycheck and your ****?
You don't have to beg a woman to blow your paycheck.



How is a woman like a laxative?
They both irritate the **** out of you.



What are the small bumps around a woman's' nipples for?
Its Braille for "suck here".



Why do men die before their wives?
They want to.



Did you hear about the guy who finally figured out women?
He died laughing before he could tell anybody.



What's the difference between a woman with PMS and a pitbull?
Lipstick.



Why do women have tits?
So men will talk to them.



What's the difference between a woman and a coffin?
You come in one and go in the other.



Why do women close their eyes during sex?
They can't stand seeing a man have a good time.



What's six inches long and two inches wide and drives! women wild?
Money.



Why did the army send so many women with PMS to the Persian Gulf?
They fought like animals and retained water for 4 days.



What's the difference between your wife and your job?
After 5 years your job will still suck.



What's the best thing about a blow job?
Ten minutes of silence.



Why are hurricanes normally named after women?
When they come they're wild and wet, but when they go they take your house and car with them

Well today has been 3 years since Bobby has passed...He is missed so much. Not a day goes by that I dont think about him...Here is a poem from his funeral...I wanted to share it with everyone...Its called "The Dash"...I love you Bobby and I always will- ColleenAnn,

"The Dash"

I read of a man who stood to speak
At the funeral of a friend.


He referred to the dates on his tombstone
From the beginning to the end.



He noted that first came the date of his birth
And spoke of the second date with tears,
But he said what mattered most of all
Was the dash between those years


For that dash represents all the time
That he spent alive on earth
And now only those who loved him
Know what that little line is worth



For it matters not, how much we own
The cars, the house, the cash
What matters most is how we live and love
And how we spend our dash.




So think about this long and hard;
Are there things you'd like to change?
For you never know how much time is left
That can still be rearranged


If we could just slow down enough
To consider whats true and real
And always try to understand
The way other people feel.





And be less quick to anger
And show appreciation more
And love the people in our lives
Like we've never loved before.




If we treat each other with respect
And more often wear a smile,
Remembering that this special dash

Rich don't drive, It was for pot in his pocket,, He was by the bowling ally with his friends,

i'm a mother of 4 kids,,, 18boy 16 girl 13 boy and a 2 year old,,,,


my 18 year old has stolen from me and his sister & brothers,,, I have try to get him help he don't want it, So I want And Need Him Out Of My House Am I So Wrong For this,,,

How are you, I have a question for you, My 18 year old son got him self into trouble,,He got 3 tickets all at different times, He has to go to court thursday for the first ticket than again on the 18th and than again on the 27th,,,My nerves are shot, He could care less,By chance do you have any clue what is gonna happen,I'm so ready to have a nevers break down cause of him, I called legal aid, they said I had to go to court with him cause he is only 18,,, I don't understand that,I want him out of my home, I told him he has until April 1st,,,To Get OUT!!!

Truth, My sister sent it to me on myspace, And I really liked it and thought I would share,, Cause Lady Your All Worth,,

Women have strengths that amaze men.
They bear hardships and they carry burdens,
but they hold happiness, love and joy.
They smile when they want to scream.
They sing when they want to cry.
They cry when they are happy
and laugh when they are nervous.
They fight for what they believe in.
They stand up to injustice.
They don't take "no" for an answer
when they believe there is a better solution.
They go without so their family can have.
They go to the doctor with a frightened friend.
They love unconditionally.
They cry when their children excel
and cheer when their friends get awards.
They are happy when they hear about
a birth or a wedding.
Their hearts break when a friend dies.
They grieve at the loss of a family member,
yet they are strong when they
think there is no strength left.
They know that a hug and a kiss
can heal a broken heart.
Women come in all shapes, sizes and colors.
They'll drive, fly, walk, run or e-mail you
to show how much they care about you.
The heart of a woman is what makes the world keep turning.
They bring joy, hope and love.
They have compassion and ideas.
They give moral support to their
family and friends.
Women have vital things to say
and everything to give.

HOWEVER, IF THERE IS ONE FLAW IN WOMEN,
IT IS THAT THEY FORGET THEIR WORTH.

Hey Turkey, Are You Buying Or Crying,

I Don't Want To Grow Up,
I'm A Toys~R~Us Kid,,

<<--- Single