Topic: The Real Truth Why Men Cheat
no photo
Mon 03/30/15 09:17 PM
They crave fresh meat.

no1phD's photo
Mon 03/30/15 09:21 PM
Edited by no1phD on Mon 03/30/15 09:22 PM
no they crave.. companionship they crave someone to hear them, listen to them... show an interest in them in their life..... they just want what they once had ...a long time ago....
they want to be held closely tightly.. to know they are desirable...they want to be kissed passionately..
once more one last time..

...

no photo
Mon 03/30/15 09:25 PM
We're talking about both men and women, right?

no1phD's photo
Mon 03/30/15 09:30 PM
No.. men want something different..lol...

.... they want Youth beauty..
..... they want a woman to look at him like he has all the answers.... and for her to look like she believes he does..

..... they want to regain that respect that they once had... a long time ago..
.... they want her.... to crave him but to really crave him....... like she used to when they first met.....

no photo
Mon 03/30/15 09:35 PM
I believe couples will always have feelings for each other and love each other, even when misunderstandings make them drift apart. Communication is important.

no1phD's photo
Mon 03/30/15 09:40 PM
Yes.. being able to communicate..
being able to express yourself freely..
. another key is not taking each other for granted..... remembering that you are each individual..... that you are not always going to see eye to eye..
.... but you can respect each others.. point of view and opinion...

..... but this can be hard to achieve..
.... In a everyday relationship
you are constantly making compromises...... there is a point where people stop compromising..... and they realize they just want what they want.....
......

uche9aa's photo
Tue 03/31/15 12:21 AM

.. One of my employees..is dating a married woman... we all give him a hard time about it..lol... but he says it comes down to this... she can't afford to leave her husband.... they have children.... he does not make a great income.... they have a mortgage.. debt..... he says she says financially she can't afford it...... she cares for her husband... she is just no longer physically attracted to him.... over the years he has put on... a lot of weight..
.... I tell my friend he should find a single woman... but he says she makes him happy..... and he understands her .. predicament...
.... I tried to reason with him...
.. but if they are both happy with a few stolen hours..... so be it..
"stolen water is sweet,and bread eaten in secret is pleasant.But AFTERWARD,it turns to gravel in the stomach and your mouth is full of stones" Tell your friend that what goes around comes around.Let him prepare to reap what he is sowing now.

no photo
Tue 03/31/15 01:20 AM
Edited by IamwhoIam1 on Tue 03/31/15 01:42 AM
I just found this serendipitously. It's a bit long but worth the read.


Beautiful advice from a divorced man after 16 years of marriage

My advice after a divorce following 16 years of marriage by Gerald Rogers

Obviously, I'm not a relationship expert. But there's something about my divorce being finalized this week that gives me perspective on things I wish I would have done differently. After losing a woman that I loved, and a marriage of almost 16 years, here's the advice I wish I would have had:

1. Never stop courting. Never stop dating. NEVER EVER take that woman for granted. When you asked her to marry you, you promised to be that man that would OWN HER HEART and to fiercely protect it. This is the most important and sacred treasure you will ever be entrusted with. SHE CHOSE YOU. Never forget that, and NEVER GET LAZY in your love.

2. Protect your own heart. Just as you committed to being the protector of her heart, you must guard your own with the same vigilance. Love yourself fully, love the world openly, but there is a special place in your heart where no one must enter except for your wife. Keep that space always ready to receive her and invite her in, and refuse to let anyone or anything else enter there.

3. Fall in love over and over again. You will constantly change. You'�re not the same people you were when you got married, and in five years you will not be the same person you are today. Change will come, and in that you have to re-choose each other everyday. SHE DOESN'�T HAVE TO STAY WITH YOU, and if you don'��t take care of her heart, she may give that heart to someone else or seal you out completely, and you may never be able to get it back. Always fight to win her love just as you did when you were courting her.

4. Always see the best in her. Focus only on what you love. What you focus on will expand. If you focus on what bugs you, all you will see is reasons to be bugged. If you focus on what you love, you can't help but be consumed by love. Focus to the point where you can no longer see anything but love, and you know without a doubt that you are the luckiest man on earth to be have this woman as your wife.

Read Full Article Here: http://bit.ly/beautifuladvicefullarticle

5. It's not your job to change or fix her. your job is to love her as she is with no expectation of her ever changing. And if she changes, love what she becomes, whether it's what you wanted or not.

6. Take full accountability for your own emotions: It's not your wife's job to make you happy, and she CAN'T make you sad. You are responsible for finding your own happiness, and through that your joy will spill over into your relationship and your love.

7. Never blame your wife if you get frustrated or angry at her, it is only because it is triggering something inside of YOU. They are YOUR emotions, and your responsibility. When you feel those feelings take time to get present and to look within and understand what it is inside of YOU that is asking to be healed. You were attracted to this woman because she was the person best suited to trigger all of your childhood wounds in the most painful way so that you could heal them. When you heal yourself, you will no longer be triggered by her, and you will wonder why you ever were.

8. Allow your woman to just be. When she's sad or upset, it's not your job to fix it, it's your job to HOLD HER and let her know it's ok. Let her know that you hear her, and that she's important and that you are that pillar on which she can always lean. The feminine spirit is about change and emotion and like a storm her emotions will roll in and out, and as you remain strong and unjudging she will trust you and open her soul to you. DON'�T RUN AWAY WHEN SHE'S UPSET. Stand present and strong and let her know you �aren't going anywhere. Listen to what she is really saying behind the words and emotion.

9. Be silly. don't take yourself so damn seriously. Laugh. And make her laugh. Laughter makes everything else easier.

10. Fill her soul everyday. learn her love languages and the specific ways that she feels important and validated and CHERISHED. Ask her to create a list of 10 THINGS that make her feel loved and memorize those things and make it a priority everyday to make her feel like a queen.

11. Be present. Give her not only your time, but your focus, your attention and your soul. Do whatever it takes to clear your head so that when you are with her you are fully WITH HER. Treat her as you would your most valuable client. She is.

12. Be willing to take her sexually, to carry her away in the power of your masculine presence, to consume her and devour her with your strength, and to penetrate her to the deepest levels of her soul. Let her melt into her feminine softness as she knows she can trust you fully.

13. Don't be an idiot. And don't be afraid of being one either. You will make mistakes and so will she. Try not to make too big of mistakes, and learn from the ones you do make. You're not supposed to be perfect, just try to not be too stupid.

14. Give her space. The woman is so good at giving and giving, and sometimes she will need to be reminded to take time to nurture herself. Sometimes she will need to fly from your branches to go and find what feeds her soul, and if you give her that space she will come back with new songs to sing (okay, getting a little too poetic here, but you get the point. Tell her to take time for herself, ESPECIALLY after you have kids. She needs that space to renew and get re-centered, and to find herself after she gets lost in serving you, the kids and the world.)

15. Be vulnerable. you don't have to have it all together. Be willing to share your fears and feelings, and quick to acknowledge your mistakes.

16. Be fully transparent. If you want to have trust you must be willing to share EVERYTHING, especially those things you don't want to share. It takes courage to fully love, to fully open your heart and let her in when you don't know i she will like what she finds. Part of that courage is allowing her to love you completely, your darkness as well as your light. DROP THE MASK. If you feel like you need to wear a mask around her, and show up perfect all the time, you will never experience the full dimension of what love can be.

17. Never stop growing together. The stagnant pond breeds malaria, the flowing stream is always fresh and cool. Atrophy is the natural process when you stop working a muscle, just as it is if you stop working on your relationship. Find common goals, dreams and visions to work towards.

18. Don't worry about money. Money is a game, find ways to work together as a team to win it. It never helps when teammates fight. Figure out ways to leverage both persons strength to win.

19. Forgive immediately and focus on the future rather than carrying weight from the past. Don't let your history hold you hostage. Holding onto past mistakes that either you or she makes, is like a heavy anchor to your marriage and will hold you back. FORGIVENESS IS FREEDOM. Cut the anchor loose and always choose love.

20. Always choose love. ALWAYS CHOOSE LOVE. In the end, this is the only advice you need. If this is the guiding principle through which all your choices is governed, there is nothing that will threaten the happiness of your marriage. Love will always endure.

In the end marriage isn't about happily ever after. It's about work. And a commitment to grow together and a willingness to continually invest in creating something that can endure eternity. Through that work, the happiness will come. Marriage is life, and it will bring ups and downs. Embracing all of the cycles and learning to learn from and love each experience will bring the strength and perspective to keep building, one brick at a time.

These are lessons I learned the hard way. These are lessons I learned too late. But these are lessons I am learning and committed in carrying forward. Truth is, I loved being married, and in time, I will get married again, and when I do, I will build it with a foundation that will endure any storm and any amount of time.

If you are reading this and find wisdom in my pain, share it those those young husbands whose hearts are still full of hope, and with those couples you may know who may have forgotten how to love. One of those men may be like I was, and in these hard earned lessons perhaps something will awaken in him and he will learn to be the man his lady has been waiting for.

MEN, THIS IS YOUR CHARGE: Commit to being an EPIC LOVER. There is no greater challenge and no greater prize. Your woman deserves that from you. Be the type of husband your wife can't help but brag about.

uche9aa's photo
Tue 03/31/15 01:52 AM
We heard you,very apt advice.I hope you have a piece of advice for women too.Waiting for you to balance the equation

no photo
Tue 03/31/15 01:58 AM
Yes, I wasn't looking for this piece. If anyone finds anything similar for women, be my guest and post.

prithvii1989's photo
Tue 03/31/15 02:09 AM
the main cheat because of sex. men always gets attracted to new women and wants to explore them but once they finish having sex they feel guilty and wishes to go back to their love.

prithvii1989's photo
Tue 03/31/15 02:38 AM
i have asked u something. please reply

no photo
Tue 03/31/15 03:07 AM
Prithvii, that's pretty much what I wrote about craving fresh meat. I just saw your inbox message. Check my answer now.

no photo
Tue 03/31/15 03:18 AM
tears tears Now look what you set off with your serendipitous findings IamwhoIam1

no photo
Tue 03/31/15 03:22 AM
Why you crying, sweetie?

no photo
Tue 03/31/15 03:25 AM

Why you crying, sweetie?


I could see all the things in my marriage which were so right and then all the things that were so wrong - both made me cry. Probably do me good as I'm not a cry baby. Beautiful piece of writing.

no photo
Tue 03/31/15 03:35 AM
Yes, it spoke to me. I wish we could find something similar from a woman.

prithvii1989's photo
Tue 03/31/15 03:52 AM
'IamwhoIam1' i did not receive any message from you..please reply i'm still waiting.

uche9aa's photo
Tue 03/31/15 04:16 AM


Why you crying, sweetie?


I could see all the things in my marriage which were so right and then all the things that were so wrong - both made me cry. Probably do me good as I'm not a cry baby. Beautiful piece of writing.

no photo
Tue 03/31/15 09:20 AM
In summary men cheat because they want to cheat. And good for them. I would never marry a man. They are not evolved for that. Maybe in 1000 years men will become marriage material.