100% FREE ONLINE DATING
sponsored links
| Topic: About your ex | |
|---|---|
|
Edited by
SparklingCrystal 💖💎
on
Fri 07/25/14 03:04 PM
|
|
Weird experience. Been alone for almost 2 years now, glad to be away from my ex, difficult relationship at best for 10 yrs, him allegedly being a narcissist, I had a lot of abuse. I'm doing great, over him etc. etc.
Now I just see this message on FB that he gave his new partner a nice necklace, she posted a picture of her wearing it. Odd thing is they broke up over a month ago. Doesn't make sense, but alas. Not my business. Now the thing is, I never got a ring, a necklace or something personal like that, even though we'd been together 10, 11 years, and in the end that hurt me a lot! I did get pressies, only on my birthday and Christmas, but never something that could represent a commitment. And once he didn't even have a pressie for my birthday, gave me a bag of candy he happened to have in his car :/ Then got really angry cos I wasn't pleased  Anyway, I'm reading that message, looking at that picture, at first it felt a bit strange, but then I was thinking: does it actually hurt me? And I honest to god don't know? I don't really feel anything, but does that mean I really don't feel anything, or that I blocked stuff? (how can you tell the difference?) Anyone ever had similar questions or slightly odd feelings when your 'replacement' gets things you always wanted but never got?? |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
keep in mind, if he can keep someone else with him, he will leave you alone. Yay! Yes, that is something I'm very aware of as well, as I know narcissists can turn into nasty stalkers. And I'm also glad to be away from him, and no, I indeed wouldn't go back, not even for a chest of nice thingies, lol. Not for anything actually. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
��"For all sad words of tongue and pen, The saddest are these,
'It might have been'.�" -John Greenleaf Whittier ~~~ Nah, I never worry that someone new with an ex is getting a better deal. I got out alive. I hope they can do the same. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Weird experience. Been alone for almost 2 years now, glad to be away from my ex, difficult relationship at best for 10 yrs, him allegedly being a narcissist, I had a lot of abuse. I'm doing great, over him etc. etc. Now I just see this message on FB that he gave his new partner a nice necklace, she posted a picture of her wearing it. Odd thing is they broke up over a month ago. Doesn't make sense, but alas. Not my business. Now the thing is, I never got a ring, a necklace or something personal like that, even though we'd been together 10, 11 years, and in the end that hurt me a lot! I did get pressies, only on my birthday and Christmas, but never something that could represent a commitment. And once he didn't even have a pressie for my birthday, gave me a bag of candy he happened to have in his car :/ Then got really angry cos I wasn't pleased Anyway, I'm reading that message, looking at that picture, at first it felt a bit strange, but then I was thinking: does it actually hurt me? And I honest to god don't know? I don't really feel anything, but does that mean I really don't feel anything, or that I blocked stuff? (how can you tell the difference?) Anyone ever had similar questions or slightly odd feelings when your 'replacement' gets things you always wanted but never got?? CRYSTAL, your on the the right track, stay with it you will find the answer.there is no logic to feelings. most have a problem because they stuff there feelings. ( or cover one feeling with another ) getting touch with feelings and finding out where the come from and then letting go has away healing our wounds--- |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Crystal, you said,"...Odd thing is they broke up over a month ago. Doesn't make sense, but alas. Not my business..."
And this is you "...doing great, over him etc. etc..."? Really? This is you, being over it? Sorry I digressed... I have no stories no "feeling" because I just do not care about her life at all. I must be missing something. If I am out, I am out: nothing else to see, say, discuss... Don't look for them on FB, on the web: nothing! It seems to me the first statement has to follow with actions that are congruent with that statement. "...not my business..." And I am going to apologize for asking questions but when a statement is incongruent, I tend to do that. Mutually exclusive: either you care and have feelings (e.g. the asking) or you don't care and then, why ask? |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Crystal, you said,"...Odd thing is they broke up over a month ago. Doesn't make sense, but alas. Not my business..." And this is you "...doing great, over him etc. etc..."? Really? This is you, being over it? Sorry I digressed... I have no stories no "feeling" because I just do not care about her life at all. I must be missing something. If I am out, I am out: nothing else to see, say, discuss... Don't look for them on FB, on the web: nothing! It seems to me the first statement has to follow with actions that are congruent with that statement. "...not my business..." And I am going to apologize for asking questions but when a statement is incongruent, I tend to do that. Mutually exclusive: either you care and have feelings (e.g. the asking) or you don't care and then, why ask? Humm I read a lot on here and this is pretty much what I thought from your statement. You see the only time I have actually looked to see what another is saying whether it be on Facebook or another site is because I have not yet let go... Yes I'm guilty of this.... But once I really don't care about them I could careless what they are doing nor do I check to see what they are doing...... It is a normally thing, I'm not ashamed of it I have a heart...  But the sooner you admit you still care a little bit what he does with a new one..The better off you will be. Think about it we all are at our best, with a new relationship then we fail to see that we are slacking in the end.... If you look back and he never did that in the beginning of the relationship then you was with the wrong person in the beginning.... Most women/men are on their best behavior at the beginning of a relationship... Then they get settled in and think that those things no longer matter... What most of us do not realize they do matter... |
|
|
|
|
|
|
Edited by
Criollo99
on
Fri 07/25/14 05:06 PM
|
|
Crystal, you said,"...Odd thing is they broke up over a month ago. Doesn't make sense, but alas. Not my business..." And this is you "...doing great, over him etc. etc..."? Really? This is you, being over it? Sorry I digressed... I have no stories no "feeling" because I just do not care about her life at all. I must be missing something. If I am out, I am out: nothing else to see, say, discuss... Don't look for them on FB, on the web: nothing! It seems to me the first statement has to follow with actions that are congruent with that statement. "...not my business..." And I am going to apologize for asking questions but when a statement is incongruent, I tend to do that. Mutually exclusive: either you care and have feelings (e.g. the asking) or you don't care and then, why ask? Humm I read a lot on here and this is pretty much what I thought from your statement. You see the only time I have actually looked to see what another is saying whether it be on Facebook or another site is because I have not yet let go... Yes I'm guilty of this.... But once I really don't care about them I could careless what they are doing nor do I check to see what they are doing...... It is a normally thing, I'm not ashamed of it I have a heart... But the sooner you admit you still care a little bit what he does with a new one..The better off you will be. Think about it we all are at our best, with a new relationship then we fail to see that we are slacking in the end.... If you look back and he never did that in the beginning of the relationship then you was with the wrong person in the beginning.... Most women/men are on their best behavior at the beginning of a relationship... Then they get settled in and think that those things no longer matter... What most of us do not realize they do matter... So, it's not backpedaling, or lying to yourself about your feelings: it's like closure for you? Hmmmm... Ok, that I understand. For me, we are done, we are done... That was the closure! Thanks for clearing that! Appreciate it! 
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
So, it's not backpedaling, or lying to yourself about your feelings: it's like closure for you? Hmmmm... Ok, that I understand. For me, we are done, we are done... That was the closure! Thanks for clearing that! Appreciate it! It has nothing to do with back peddling, that is for if you want them back.. For me I believe in the closer part... Once that is done then it is over.. But if you're still looking to see what they are doing then you have not found that closer......Once you do you could care less what is going on in their life. And would not consider reading anything that is pertained to that person... That is just me, many go about it a different way.. But the way I see it if you're still looking to see what they are doing or who they are with. You have not found that closer yet....JMO |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
��"For all sad words of tongue and pen, The saddest are these, 'It might have been'.�" -John Greenleaf Whittier ~~~ Nah, I never worry that someone new with an ex is getting a better deal. I got out alive. I hope they can do the same. My ex- shot the next guy she married. I got away from her with only the scar that she gave me by cutting me. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
My long term ex isn't on my facebook... but every once in awhile I'll get "mistake" texts from her? there's nothing there as far as feelings so for me that helps to not "inquire" about anything. I'm good lol
you'll see how quick you drop your habit when you find someone for you and realize how far away you need to get from your ex. I'm only saying this because you said it was a Toxic Relationship.. gl |
|
|
|
|
|
|
Edited by
Criollo99
on
Fri 07/25/14 06:07 PM
|
|
So, it's not backpedaling, or lying to yourself about your feelings: it's like closure for you? Hmmmm... Ok, that I understand. For me, we are done, we are done... That was the closure! Thanks for clearing that! Appreciate it! It has nothing to do with back peddling, that is for if you want them back.. For me I believe in the closer part... Once that is done then it is over.. But if you're still looking to see what they are doing then you have not found that closer......Once you do you could care less what is going on in their life. And would not consider reading anything that is pertained to that person... That is just me, many go about it a different way.. But the way I see it if you're still looking to see what they are doing or who they are with. You have not found that closer yet....JMO I understand and agree with you! That's why I just don't care... lol I mean about her: I do care about what you wrote! |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Crystal, you said,"...Odd thing is they broke up over a month ago. Doesn't make sense, but alas. Not my business..." And this is you "...doing great, over him etc. etc..."? Really? This is you, being over it? Sorry I digressed... I have no stories no "feeling" because I just do not care about her life at all. I must be missing something. If I am out, I am out: nothing else to see, say, discuss... Don't look for them on FB, on the web: nothing! It seems to me the first statement has to follow with actions that are congruent with that statement. "...not my business..." And I am going to apologize for asking questions but when a statement is incongruent, I tend to do that. Mutually exclusive: either you care and have feelings (e.g. the asking) or you don't care and then, why ask? Humm I read a lot on here and this is pretty much what I thought from your statement. You see the only time I have actually looked to see what another is saying whether it be on Facebook or another site is because I have not yet let go... Yes I'm guilty of this.... But once I really don't care about them I could careless what they are doing nor do I check to see what they are doing...... It is a normally thing, I'm not ashamed of it I have a heart... But the sooner you admit you still care a little bit what he does with a new one..The better off you will be. Think about it we all are at our best, with a new relationship then we fail to see that we are slacking in the end.... If you look back and he never did that in the beginning of the relationship then you was with the wrong person in the beginning.... Most women/men are on their best behavior at the beginning of a relationship... Then they get settled in and think that those things no longer matter... What most of us do not realize they do matter... I'm with you guys on this...why is he on your FB? Why are you on his?..It is not something someone truly past it all would do...neither is caring about what goes on with his new partner maybe he learned from you not to take his next for granted |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
[[[[crystal]]] 
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
My long term ex isn't on my facebook... but every once in awhile I'll get "mistake" texts from her? there's nothing there as far as feelings so for me that helps to not "inquire" about anything. I'm good lol you'll see how quick you drop your habit when you find someone for you and realize how far away you need to get from your ex. I'm only saying this because you said it was a Toxic Relationship.. gl Wow, first thing I did was change my number! No, wait, that was second: first was changed the locks in my home, all of them! |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Weird experience. Been alone for almost 2 years now, glad to be away from my ex, difficult relationship at best for 10 yrs, him allegedly being a narcissist, I had a lot of abuse. I'm doing great, over him etc. etc. Now I just see this message on FB that he gave his new partner a nice necklace, she posted a picture of her wearing it. Odd thing is they broke up over a month ago. Doesn't make sense, but alas. Not my business. Now the thing is, I never got a ring, a necklace or something personal like that, even though we'd been together 10, 11 years, and in the end that hurt me a lot! I did get pressies, only on my birthday and Christmas, but never something that could represent a commitment. And once he didn't even have a pressie for my birthday, gave me a bag of candy he happened to have in his car :/ Then got really angry cos I wasn't pleased Anyway, I'm reading that message, looking at that picture, at first it felt a bit strange, but then I was thinking: does it actually hurt me? And I honest to god don't know? I don't really feel anything, but does that mean I really don't feel anything, or that I blocked stuff? (how can you tell the difference?) Anyone ever had similar questions or slightly odd feelings when your 'replacement' gets things you always wanted but never got?? I totally understand your feelings on this. I see my ex on facebook we are friends and stay connected and I see her on vacations or doing things we never did but I realize its a natural progress that they are going through just like myself.I like to think I have learned from my mistakes and do things different now.No worries Crystal when you find the right man he will also shower you with gifts you like and you will move on.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Edited by
SparklingCrystal 💖💎
on
Sat 07/26/14 06:21 AM
|
|
Thank you Jack and Sparkyae and Sweetestgirl
BTW I'm not looking on FB to see what they are doing.  And yes, he's on my FB, for a reason. Let's say part of our social network is still interlaced. I've had that 'over and out, done with' thing with my first ex. But with my 2nd it seems to be different, even though I wholeheartedly wanted out (in both cases). Ppl always say 'There's a reason you split up!' Very true! But ... there was also a reason why you got together, why you clicked. And I've learnt that that part doesn't necessarily change. That you can still click in many areas, without the need or wish to be friends or more. Hmm.. just dawns on me it has to do with that aspect where we (still) click, not with him as a person. Interesting ... Thx for the feedback, suddenly gave me a nice insight  |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Ppl always say 'There's a reason you split up!' Very true! But ... there was also a reason why you got together, why you clicked. And I've learnt that that part doesn't necessarily change. That you can still click in many areas, without the need or wish to be friends or more. This I don't understand... Clicking is an interaction between people, both people. You can't be clicking with someone and they have not a clue about it? You miss him in certain ways, this I get. You shouldn't resent him for living his life and the things he offers to others. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
It's pretty obvious that after two years you still haven't gotten over this guy. Do what you have to do to put him behind you and get on with your life.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Although my separation and divorce was amicable, it was 2 years of heartache, loneliness, depression, resentment. I had friends and family around me. I'm well over her now but once in a while I think of the good and bad times we had together.
Give it more time and don't wait around to feel better! |
|
|
|
|
