I have a serious question for the women. I marked separated on my profile. The relationship died a while ago, but only recently did we file for divorce. In Sweden, if there is a child involved, there is a 6 month waiting period before the divorce is finalized. I'm being very up front about everything. My question, how much does it put you off when you see separated, instead of divorced? Please be honest, I have no inventions to lie, so I won't change my profile.

Best wishes,
Mike

It doesn't matter really. I mean in my opinion. as long as it's finished, and ur also emotionally not attached then that's enough.

Yes, I totally understand. No worries, I'm trying meet women in the US and I currently live in Sweden. Dating is not really an option at this point. :-)

QUOTE: How much does it put you off when you see separated, instead of divorced? Please be honest..

I would not even consider dating a man who stated he was "separated", simply because, if the divorce is not final, there is always a chance the separated couple might get back together again, especially if there are children involved. Happens all the time. I am not willing to invest time and emotions in a relationship unless I am firmly convinced the previous relationship is completely and definitively over. JMHO

I totally understand. What does JHMO standoff? Well, As I said I won't lie. Don't plan on starting friendships or anything else on a lie. I think on these sites one should always be cautious, don't hurry and have fun getting to know me another. To me first few messages where to start to learn about a person are so much fun.

If a 'separated' person does not explain further,
in their profile, I would not look again :-)

Typical, methinks, of most gals.

Oh, good suggestion!!! Have to think about how to write it.

Live and learn. As the French say, I will go to bed less stupid tonight. :-)

Honestly in the past I have dated guys that were separated..But will not do it again just a door they have not closed and makes it easier for them to go back to the wife...

If they are not divorced or widowed there is no way I will take that chance again...

I too am not interested in starting anything with someone who isn't 'legally' divorce. With that being said...I have also been mislead by guys who put 'divorced' on the profiles. Conversations through emails and phone calls they would also say they are divorced...only to meet face to face weeks later with a 'confession' that they are still married.

I appreciate your honesty and being up front with your status Mike. I am sorry I didn't give you the opportunity to explain earlier.

No worries Shutterbug, people should be very careful on these sites. I think they can be fun, but you should treat someone new like you would in person. Be nice, but in the back of your head somewhere be asking what's their angle. The problem with the internet and chatting is you can't see my face. We read so much off of each other's faces and body language.

I will be as honest as I can, sometimes we lie to ourselves and don't know it. I'm here to meet people, especially female type people :-), to chat with and get to know. If it goes no further than that, great, maybe I make a friend. If I find that special girl and we decide to go beyond friendship, well that would be wonderful.

Personally it never bothered me...

It's only a problem and should be taken into account if the guy keeps talking about the ex.

Speaking Well or Poorly of her, makes me think he isn't over her and he's not ready to move on.

Thanks TeeBee!! I do think everyone needs to be careful. I love your profile, I guess you've been contacted by a few scammers? :-) I could be wrong.

I hate it when people talk about their exes, I mean my ex was always going on about her....well, never mind :-)

I am just joking, I absolutely agree with you.

Thank you...
Actually, It's not the money scammers I get... It's the MARRIED guys or Pervs. Sad, to say... A Lot of them come from a specific area.
Not that I don't experience my share of American Pervs.. but for some reason American Pervs are easier to handle Go figure!

That's because you American women grew up with us and can read us like a book. Know exactly what to say to shut us down. It's hard to read people from other cultures. Remember when I first moved to Sweden, couldn't read anybody.

Hmmm, Never thought of it like that
You may have a point

i can only speak from my experience. it took me 3 years to get my divorce. will admit i did go back but didnt stop divorce, but that was in the early months. As has been already said it depends how the guy talks, cos he sure didnt have to have married her and could honestly put single and yet still go back

Maybe I should just write in my profile, she decided she was a lesbian. I'm a university associate professor and my wife is a lesbian. I'm frickin Ross.

From my personal experience, when I was legally separated I thought that I was ready to date. When the divorce was finalized, I realized that I was not ready to date and needed to do some "soul searching" to find out who I really was. After years of being divorced, I am finally ready.

My friend was separated and thought he was ready to date. So we tried to date. He was definitely not over his ex. The divorce became final. We tried to date again. He was still not over his ex.

I have found out that even after divorce has been finalized there is still a healing period that people need to go through before trying to get back in the dating scene.

I proceed with caution when I see separated on profiles. I will only be friendly and not look at them as dating prospects.

I think online dating is hard to really read people because anybody can write anything and post any profile pictures. I try to be as real as possible, yet protect myself from the scams.

I love what you wrote. I am on here to make friends. I found one girl that caught my attention, but I would rather be friends and go slow. If she, or anyone I'm corresponding with, meets a guy they really like, I hope we could share a virtual cup of coffee and gossip all about it. :-)