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Topic: Giving the benefit of the doubt
Leo2277's photo
Sun 02/09/14 05:24 PM
Sometimes there are instances where we as women give a guy the benefit of the doubt, and get confused.
I know full well that many if not most men feel that women are hard to figure out...but lets face it...men are too!

I myself had a very odd start to a "relationship" from another online site.
He was a full and proper gentleman. Not even a "peck" on the cheek for 5 dates.
Yet when there was a single instance of no communication for a day or two, I made my own plans to go spend time with my horses.
When he ASKED if I was "up for something" the next day (after being ditched for the nights plans we had)
His res ponce was "no problem, go spend time with your horses"
Then time goes by with zero response to a text I sent him the next day...for 2 weeks!

Why if this is a "sign" is it SO DIFFICULT to actually tell the girl either "hey , I am outta here" or "ya , not that into you" or just a plain and simple "loose my number! I am done"???
Why must she sit and try to figure it out and be a nusiance to her good friends trying to figure out what she could be doing differently in the future?

soufiehere's photo
Sun 02/09/14 05:27 PM
Because they can.
Their radar is always on.
Someone else will be along in no time.

no photo
Sun 02/09/14 05:31 PM
Because men are stupid.

No seriously, sometimes no response to a gesture really is a response. If you contact a guy and it takes him 2 weeks to get back to you, he's saying he's over it. Or he's dead. Either way, yeah, time to move on. Lots of fish in the sea, or in this case, more horses in the stable.drinker

no photo
Sun 02/09/14 05:35 PM

don't be exclusive until you agree to be exclusive. If it develops into an exclusive relationship, awesome. If not, hey, maybe you had some laughs.

I just mean don't force it or make it into more than it is.


Awesome advice.

BettyB's photo
Sun 02/09/14 05:38 PM
Because he is a balless wonder. Would rather keep you dangling on a string like his little puppet rather than telling you the truth.

no photo
Sun 02/09/14 05:40 PM

Because he is a balless wonder. Would rather keep you dangling on a string like his little puppet rather than telling you the truth.



So many of those in the world.drinker

BettyB's photo
Sun 02/09/14 05:46 PM


Because he is a balless wonder. Would rather keep you dangling on a string like his little puppet rather than telling you the truth.



So many of those in the world.drinker

Too darn many.

no photo
Sun 02/09/14 05:52 PM
Edited by sweetestgirl11 on Sun 02/09/14 05:54 PM

Sometimes there are instances where we as women give a guy the benefit of the doubt, and get confused.
I know full well that many if not most men feel that women are hard to figure out...but lets face it...men are too!

I myself had a very odd start to a "relationship" from another online site.
He was a full and proper gentleman. Not even a "peck" on the cheek for 5 dates.
Yet when there was a single instance of no communication for a day or two, I made my own plans to go spend time with my horses.
When he ASKED if I was "up for something" the next day (after being ditched for the nights plans we had)
His res ponce was "no problem, go spend time with your horses"
Then time goes by with zero response to a text I sent him the next day...for 2 weeks!

Why if this is a "sign" is it SO DIFFICULT to actually tell the girl either "hey , I am outta here" or "ya , not that into you" or just a plain and simple "loose my number! I am done"???
Why must she sit and try to figure it out and be a nusiance to her good friends trying to figure out what she could be doing differently in the future?


if he was really into you he would be calling all the time. let it go an start dating someone else...the fact that he went for 5 dates without trying something....one or 2 dates, yeah, he's making the gentelmanly thing work, but 5!!! I would take that as a sign that he's not that attracted to me. In my experience I gotta keep an eye on those hands from date #1 . They never behave....lolslaphead tongue2




:laughing:

no photo
Sun 02/09/14 06:27 PM
I think everyone here has had really good points and given good advice. The only thing I would add is, do not make someone a priority who only makes you an option.

no photo
Sun 02/09/14 06:28 PM

I think everyone here has had really good points and given good advice. The only thing I would add is, do not make someone a priority who only makes you an option.


That's my philosophy, too.flowerforyou

no photo
Sun 02/09/14 06:29 PM

I think everyone here has had really good points and given good advice. The only thing I would add is, do not make someone a priority who only makes you an option.
:thumbsup:

BettyB's photo
Sun 02/09/14 06:30 PM

I think everyone here has had really good points and given good advice. The only thing I would add is, do not make someone a priority who only makes you an option.

Right on!!!!

PacificStar48's photo
Sun 02/09/14 09:00 PM

I think everyone here has had really good points and given good advice. The only thing I would add is, do not make someone a priority who only makes you an option.


VERY true. Very true.

Candiapples's photo
Sun 02/09/14 09:15 PM

I think everyone here has had really good points and given good advice. The only thing I would add is, do not make someone a priority who only makes you an option.

This for sure :thumbsup:
Its just not worth it

no photo
Sun 02/09/14 09:30 PM

I think everyone here has had really good points and given good advice. The only thing I would add is, do not make someone a priority who only makes you an option.



drinker :banana: :thumbsup:

larsson71's photo
Sun 02/09/14 09:36 PM
Oops, i'm in the man-hating thread? The guy was looking for a get out of jail free card and your Horses were just part of the excuse to get out of there sharpish. Talking as a guy, maybe you just bored him? It happens, i've been there before, but I told the lassie that things weren't going to work out and that was that. His only reason was ' your Horses ' tells me that he can't deal with delicate situations, like telling someone it's over. There are always two sides to a story and I think the version by the OP, is not painting the full picture? Also stop running us guys down? You may have been hurt by some of us in the past? Hating on us all though will hamper you in the future when you meet a good one!

no photo
Sun 02/09/14 09:58 PM

Sometimes there are instances where we as women give a guy the benefit of the doubt, and get confused.
I know full well that many if not most men feel that women are hard to figure out...but lets face it...men are too!

I myself had a very odd start to a "relationship" from another online site.
He was a full and proper gentleman. Not even a "peck" on the cheek for 5 dates.
Yet when there was a single instance of no communication for a day or two, I made my own plans to go spend time with my horses.
When he ASKED if I was "up for something" the next day (after being ditched for the nights plans we had)
His res ponce was "no problem, go spend time with your horses"
Then time goes by with zero response to a text I sent him the next day...for 2 weeks!

Why if this is a "sign" is it SO DIFFICULT to actually tell the girl either "hey , I am outta here" or "ya , not that into you" or just a plain and simple "loose my number! I am done"???
Why must she sit and try to figure it out and be a nusiance to her good friends trying to figure out what she could be doing differently in the future?


Don't mean to sound insensitive, but here's the deal...Five dates, not even a little tongue...Then two days with out contacting you, then two weeks with no contact after he used your date with the horses to get pissy....He is telling you, you're just not listening....And before you get down on him or worse, down on yourself, keep this in mind...He was attracted enough to spend five dates with you...He did not give up easy, he was interested enough to spend a good deal of time determining if it was go or no...Dating doesn't come with guarantees, that's why it's called dating...

metalwing's photo
Sun 02/09/14 10:07 PM
Life is enigmatic.

If there is no magic ...

Disappear.

PacificStar48's photo
Sun 02/09/14 10:25 PM


Sometimes there are instances where we as women give a guy the benefit of the doubt, and get confused.
I know full well that many if not most men feel that women are hard to figure out...but lets face it...men are too!

I myself had a very odd start to a "relationship" from another online site.
He was a full and proper gentleman. Not even a "peck" on the cheek for 5 dates.
Yet when there was a single instance of no communication for a day or two, I made my own plans to go spend time with my horses.
When he ASKED if I was "up for something" the next day (after being ditched for the nights plans we had)
His res ponce was "no problem, go spend time with your horses"
Then time goes by with zero response to a text I sent him the next day...for 2 weeks!

Why if this is a "sign" is it SO DIFFICULT to actually tell the girl either "hey , I am outta here" or "ya , not that into you" or just a plain and simple "loose my number! I am done"???
Why must she sit and try to figure it out and be a nusiance to her good friends trying to figure out what she could be doing differently in the future?


Don't mean to sound insensitive, but here's the deal...Five dates, not even a little tongue...Then two days with out contacting you, then two weeks with no contact after he used your date with the horses to get pissy....He is telling you, you're just not listening....And before you get down on him or worse, down on yourself, keep this in mind...He was attracted enough to spend five dates with you...He did not give up easy, he was interested enough to spend a good deal of time determining if it was go or no...Dating doesn't come with guarantees, that's why it's called dating...


flowers Yup what she said .

Guys are not going to go into drama with some gal. Not like you are going to change or change his mind so do your thing with your horses and be happy.

When someone stops dating you it doesn't come with a "lover evaluation report" or a "Relationship autopsy". Dating is suppose to be fun not a chore.

Duttoneer's photo
Mon 02/10/14 01:18 AM

Sometimes there are instances where we as women give a guy the benefit of the doubt, and get confused.
I know full well that many if not most men feel that women are hard to figure out...but lets face it...men are too!

I myself had a very odd start to a "relationship" from another online site.
He was a full and proper gentleman. Not even a "peck" on the cheek for 5 dates.
Yet when there was a single instance of no communication for a day or two, I made my own plans to go spend time with my horses.
When he ASKED if I was "up for something" the next day (after being ditched for the nights plans we had)
His res ponce was "no problem, go spend time with your horses"
Then time goes by with zero response to a text I sent him the next day...for 2 weeks!

Why if this is a "sign" is it SO DIFFICULT to actually tell the girl either "hey , I am outta here" or "ya , not that into you" or just a plain and simple "loose my number! I am done"???
Why must she sit and try to figure it out and be a nusiance to her good friends trying to figure out what she could be doing differently in the future?


I am sorry to have to say this, but in my opinion the guy was gay. If after 5 dates there was no attempt by him to kiss or make a pass at you then he was gay, in fact I am beginning to seriously wonder about you. It seems to me that you were not really in to him. If you had tried as hard when you were together to reach him, as you did when you were apart, with all those calls to his mobile, etc. It could have been all very different for you, seems to me if the guy wasn't gay he just gave up all too frosty maybe?
This is the 21st Century, equality ladies, sometimes guys need coaxing if they are unsure, turn it up a little, guys like it hot.

Welcome to Mingle2 and good luck in your search.

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