Are there things you feel someone should do by a certain age? If they haven't, do you question why?

For example, do you feel there's a certain age people should be married by? If they haven't, does it affect how you feel about/look at them?

What business is it for anyone to have expectations for where another adult should be in life?

What is your motive for this topic?

Someone expecting you to be other than who or where you are?

Explain, please.

People have all sorts of expectations. Sometimes they're very strange. As for motive, I'm just curious as to what those expectations are.

Well, I definetely think that life experience and personal history matters and sometimes I feel regrets about things that I haven't done, like not having kids but as far as judging other people goes, for me it's more about finding people that have lived a similar lifestyle because then we are more likely to have things in common.

On the other hand, it's nice to introduce people to new experiences if they are open to them. By a certain age people can become rather set in their ways though and that's the problem that I'm finding when it comes to dating women my own age.

honestly, yes

I do carry certain expectations that go along with responsibility and experience which tie into age

by 16 , one hasn't had a lot of experience, may not be able to see beyond the immediate gratification,,,etc,,,obsessed in self

by , say , 32, I expect a person to have learned to think about others, to be responsible for their actions, etc

I , personally, would think someone by their forties not having yet been married or had kids, may not be so likely to adopt to having a family,, as most of their lives were spent only having to care for self


I wouldn't have an 'expectation' that they have a family , but their not having been married or with kids may tell me something about the lifestyle they are most likely to be accustomed to

I used to have those set views, but I notice that with age wisdom indeed does come too, and I have less of these views now.
Thing is that you have these views about other, but I think they're basically projections of your own self.

The only real expectation I can think of offhand is that when somebody reaches their adult years they should be making their own way in life. Not relying on parents or others for hand outs.

As far as what age somebody should be married ...no . I think finding the right person to spend your life is far more important than what age you get married. Some people choose to never marry and that's fine.

Crystal-what you said was indeed very wise-

everybody has different ways of thinking and handle-ling this types of situation but in a reality what are YOUR views of it? and if you see a chance of you helping improve whit whatever he/she is lacking then work with it..

Yes, I had expectations for my kids.

I sort of thought the topic was about adults.

If, I am in the process of getting to know someone and there is a trait I am uncomfortable with or, they are where I "expect" they would be in life, it's best I move on and look for someone more to my nature.

Basic natures change little. One of my ex old ladies has a big knot on her head from "expecting" and trying to change me. <<<<Er, from banging her head against the wall from frustration.

This topic is about adults.

It's good to see that some can get past certain expectations.

Live and let live and to each their own...
Luckily with millions of women and men on this planet
I don't have a need to live up to anyone else's expectations but my own....
lol

Oh Yea I think society in general does have expectations of when you are suppose to have different "stages" of life.

When you are suppose to start work, marry, have kids, be widowed, retire.

And they send up red flags when ever you don't fit into the common mold.

When my life has not fit the "typical" more often than not I have found my self trying to explain and just bagging it as more aggravation than it is worth. Letting people think what they want.

If/when there are genuinely seriously interested person in my life I will lay the facts on the table and no sooner. And that is what I recommend to others; especially on line if you don't want your privacy blabbed or your identity stolen.

But people who don't quite add up should be willing to prove their claims and back it up with documentation because there are a lot of con artists out there.

Do I think people have to necessarily fit common life tracks? No way there are always exceptions. Sometimes very good reasons. ones that have no business being blabbed to strangers but that more than good sense in context.

OP's example of marrying late or not marry makes total sense to me if someone has a very transient career or maybe has dependents such as extended family they are supporting. Very common for instance in the military or oil field employment.

I used marriage as an example because it's a common one that people have expectations about. I've been asked several times why I haven't been married yet, because many do have an age in mind that they believe one should be married by.

Sure, you live, you learn. Some don't, which is also okay. We all have our own thing to do in life.

One expectation from the outside world most of us surely have encountered, is the one after you have broken up with a partner. If you're still not over it half a year later, you get this type of reaction from friends and family:
"Geesh, you're still not over him/her??!!"

My mum was very good at that, conveniently forgetting that it took her 6 years to get over her husband
After my last break-up I didn't give a toss what people thought or would expect. It was my process!

Some of my views with age, experience, and (hopefully) wisdom have become much more liberal and some much more conservative.

I think at a certain age you know what works for you but you don't have to dictate it for others. If they are friends, family, neighbors, co-workers you like on the whole you can and should agree just to disagree where things don't match up.

The unique thing about Mingle is you can talk about reasons people do things, feel things, believe things. Learn a lot. Understand a lot. Again (hopefully) apply it in your life where it is beneficial.

The way the world has changed, I don't really expect anything to happen by a certain time. Years ago, it was expected that people would get married, buy a home, have kids, blah blah, by the age of (insert age here) but now so much has changed, you never know. Some people put off marriage until really late, some never marry at all. Some people have children later in life, or really early, or again, not at all.

And with the current economy, the idea of buying a home by a certain age is crazy, you're lucky if you can afford rent, in some cases. So in short, I expect nothing. When I was younger, I assumed by the time I was the age I am now that I'd have everything I ever wanted, but I'm still working towards having most of it, some I've given up on.

Interesting topic though.

It's not that I'm picky, or that I'm projecting anything.

I said what I did in my previous post here because the fact of the matter is that it's the women that are picky and I could spend all day on dating sites getting knocked back by women that aren't looking for a guy like me, or aren't prepared to give a guy like me a chance.

Most of my girlfriends have had certain things in common with me and that's all that I'm saying.

It's definetely harder to get dates when you get to this age because the women will dismiss you based entirely on things like social status and when I was in my twenties going out to pubs looking for girls they basically only cared what I looked like and if I was a "nice guy". That doesn't cut it for most middle aged women and I've said before that I really believe that a lot of them won't even talk to me because it says on my profile that I'm a student. That wouldn't bother a young girl unless she was a gold digger.

Others? Never ever would I be concerned about them
"Keeping up to the Jones's" I personally feel the pressure with in as time goes on.
The uncertainty of leaving school as an underachiever & continuously hearing how tough
it is in the 'real word' and you have to be 'this'
& you have to be 'that'; crammed down my throat,
along with a pessimistic Mother the future would be
bleak.
Well it turned out in '86 I got my foot in the door
& hired on as summer relief at a mill with a base
rate of $14.08 an hour.Also many OT hours at $21.12
Started logging in '89 then started my own silviculture(reforestation and growth enhancement)
company in '92, & by '94, I was one of 10 contractors in North American to be on a select invitation list for all upcoming Tender Gov. list in S.E. Alaska & regions in BC,on a wide range of
activities.
So most all of that drive was due to mainly
negativity and showing people, opposed to doing
it for myself.Once I felt I accomplished it
I walked away from contracting in'95.
When I was younger and had a pocket full of money
that seemed to be the "cure all" and all the conference was a derivative of money.

These days a pocket full of money doesn't
mean chit to me unless I has an endless supply
for freedom, I again have a company without
employees this time, but I am losing the passion,
for what once gave me the ultimate freedom, can now
be my prison.
It just make the goals harder in stages of my life
as the work is a trade off of my life for money.
I have Entrepreneurial viable,achievable goals that
would give me a new zest for life but that
will require me to buckle down once again for
a short time.
I guess what I'm trying to say is its killing
me..lol

posted accidentally. ..yeah I'm not done..lol