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Topic: Taking a poll...
eileena9's photo
Mon 08/12/13 11:09 PM
Edited by eileena9 on Mon 08/12/13 11:10 PM
When you are in a committed relationship and get asked to go out with "buddies" for lunch/hanging out, (without your partner) how long is an acceptable amount of time before sitting home and waiting starts to bug you/them?

LovelyAbby's photo
Mon 08/12/13 11:30 PM
Why is the partner sitting home waiting? Get out and do something. There is an issue of trust here....enjoy the time with them away with there buddies, pamper yourself.

eileena9's photo
Mon 08/12/13 11:35 PM
They don't want you coming with them and even if you did go out and pamper yourself for a while how long is acceptable for them to be out?

Three hours?

Four hours?

Six hours?

Ten or more hours????

Duttoneer's photo
Tue 08/13/13 12:18 AM
If it's a fishing trip, could be a long weekend, all the guys like to get in some serious fishing time during the summer months.

eileena9's photo
Tue 08/13/13 12:40 AM
Nope, not fishing.... I know all about them fishing trips. laugh

Just hanging out...

oldhippie1952's photo
Tue 08/13/13 02:22 AM
I don't hang out without my woman, if they're my buddies they'll accept her presence too!

Traumer's photo
Tue 08/13/13 04:39 PM

They don't want you coming with them and even if you did go out and pamper yourself for a while how long is acceptable for them to be out?

Three hours?

Four hours?

Six hours?

Ten or more hours????


Usually it depends on what they are doing; hitting a gas station or liquor/ 7-11 convenience store; some rinki-dink small town bank/ Lots of things could go wrong and that always takes time away from getting home, as does going to some roadside strip and eat mall even to a recital of some homey/gangbanger version of Macbeth or perhaps they got busted by a 'Smoky' for DUI...who knows. Life is like that at times, nevermind being abducted by some anal probing alien Greys.
Give it 4 to 6 hours before pulling the leash if he has a cell, track his whereabouts...or go out clubbing yo'self and do pamper yo'self!!laugh (being facetious)

soufiehere's photo
Tue 08/13/13 04:59 PM
What is good for the goose, is good for the gander, they say.
Besides, it is never the obvious ones, it is the ones you do
NOT know about.

I would let him have all the rope he needs, and then some,
without worrying.

If you cannot discuss it after, go gander.

navygirl's photo
Tue 08/13/13 05:11 PM

They don't want you coming with them and even if you did go out and pamper yourself for a while how long is acceptable for them to be out?

Three hours?

Four hours?

Six hours?

Ten or more hours????


If I trusted them; I wouldn't set a limit of how many hours they are away but that is just how I roll.

1Cynderella's photo
Tue 08/13/13 05:29 PM
If he's out with the boys much later than usual, wouldn't he call to let you know he was okay, having fun and not to worry?

I mean they ALL do that...right? RIGHT? slaphead

motowndowntown's photo
Tue 08/13/13 05:42 PM
Edited by motowndowntown on Tue 08/13/13 05:42 PM
If you're setting time limits on him/her, for anything, there's something seriously wrong with the relationship.

If you expect him/her to call, "just to let you know he's okay", when he's out with the boys, there's something seriously wrong with the relationship.

If you feel you have to call him/her, "just to see if he's okay", or to talk to him about something "important", when he's out somewhere without you, there's something seriously wrong with the relationship.

If you sit at home worrying about just what exactly he's/ she's doing when he/she is out somewhere without you, there's something seriously wrong with the relationship.


no photo
Tue 08/13/13 05:51 PM
Motown said it better than I would have!

You should both be "allowed" (I am cringing right now) to have your own interests and do things apart from each other.

Setting a time limit sounds like something a parent would do!
NOT a partner!

no photo
Tue 08/13/13 06:33 PM
A round of golf is 4h 30mins... I'll go with that :thumbsup:

Candiapples's photo
Tue 08/13/13 06:49 PM
Guys just need their guy time. They tend to forget time when having fun. I personally like my own free time to breath so I would be saying YESS please go happy If you are sitting there worrying or he is..then theres probably trust issues going on.

no photo
Tue 08/13/13 09:25 PM
I disagree wtih motown I think calling to give your partner an idea of where you are and when to expect you is a responsible choice that shows consideration. I'd be concerned about the maturity level of someone who chafes at touching base to let me know what's up. Actually I would not date someone who has a bad attitude about that to begin with. I would certainly do that if the shoe was on the other foot.

Something is seriously wrong with the relationship if you have a problem behaving with manners and consideration toward your partner

I think couples should go out together anyway. Men who insist on their boy's nights are usually pretty immature...or up to no good. IME it's usually the latter. For long long time kimosabe have I been the single chick ya been hittin' on when your out without Wilma

can't fool and old fool :)

no photo
Tue 08/13/13 09:31 PM

They don't want you coming with them and even if you did go out and pamper yourself for a while how long is acceptable for them to be out?

Three hours?

Four hours?

Six hours?

Ten or more hours????


Why should there be a time limit? I'm big on both people keeping their friends and still getting together with them. If the other person isn't joining them, but doesn't want to wait at home, why not go out with their own friends?

no photo
Tue 08/13/13 09:34 PM

I disagree wtih motown I think calling to give your partner an idea of where you are and when to expect you is a responsible choice that shows consideration. I'd be concerned about the maturity level of someone who chafes at touching base to let me know what's up. Actually I would not date someone who has a bad attitude about that to begin with. I would certainly do that if the shoe was on the other foot.

Something is seriously wrong with the relationship if you have a problem behaving with manners and consideration toward your partner

I think couples should go out together anyway. Men who insist on their boy's nights are usually pretty immature...or up to no good. IME it's usually the latter. For long long time kimosabe have I been the single chick ya been hittin' on when your out without Wilma

can't fool and old fool :)


I disagree. Calling and checking in because the other person worries, is impatient or gets jealous world get old quickly. It's not immature to go out with your friends once in a while without the other person.

no photo
Tue 08/13/13 09:41 PM
time limits, no time limits, wtf is wrong with the world today? if two people are in a committed relationship, what is so hard about being considerate of the other person? as an adult, you should be allowed freedom, but not be without discipline. why can't one person tell the other person their intentions and then be considerate. "honey, i'll be with some friends and should be home around 3am". at 2:30 when it's obvious you won't make it home by 3, a courtesy call should be made. "honey, looks like i may be home by noon tomorrow". i guarantee i guarantee communication works in relationships

(bulldog double guarantee - patent pending)

no photo
Tue 08/13/13 09:43 PM
Trust is important, too. If you have to set time limits and demand check in phone calls, perhaps you don't trust them as much as you should.

ArtGurl's photo
Wed 08/14/13 01:03 AM
Edited by ArtGurl on Wed 08/14/13 01:07 AM
I have never been one to try to control the actions of another so wouldn't feel the need to tell him what he is allowed to do or how long he can be out. I look at time apart as time to miss one another ... and possibly to build some sexual fire....

...it is quite delicious to imagine him trying to keep a straight face while I am texting all the things I am going to do to him when he gets home...or all the things I am having to do to myself in his absence...the latter usually has him in a quite a lather pitchfork

And not in an annoying constant contact whatcha doin kind of way that feels like stalking or control ...in a playful flirty way ... one liner ... every so often. Or maybe a pic :wink:

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