Hi friends.
I had a relationship with a married person. We started it with sex relationship.On the way we fell in love.We had a good physical and emotional relationship. Later it is make us very difficult and hurt. I love him very much and he too.This is the best relationship and sex I ever had. I realized this would not working for me and I told him I cannot have this relationship anymore.

This is his story. He has been married 25 years. His wife doesn't interest in sex. He has high sex drive. He is not happy with his marriage. He tried to help her asking what is wrong with her and how can help her. But she refusing talk about that and going doctor therapist and counselling.He is so frustrated with his marriage life. She is not a cuddle and romantic person. She is busy with her pets and friends. No time for her husband. His kids married live on their own.

My problem is I have no any connection with him now. But he is asking time. He want to workout things with his wife. If she is not corporate with him, He wants to leave her. Life is too short. I want to enjoy my life.

I would like to know,what should I do.I am heartbroken. I want to move on. I feel bad to hurt him even though it is hurt me. I loved him still do very madly. He is a great lover, he knows how to turn on women.Very kind respectful person. I cannot believe how is she (wife)refuse this wonderful husband. Please help me what should I do.Please don't criticize. I value your kind feedback.Good advise preffred.
Thanks

I believe if he was going to leave he would of already done so. You deserve better try to move forward with your life and good luck

ANY time a 3rd party is involved, there will be pain.
Lots of it.
Sometimes yours, sometimes theirs.
But it will always rear its ugly head.

Take care of yourself first.
Accept only those willing to give their whole heart.
And give only, all of yours.
To someone deserving.

Should I give him time or not.

No. You are only wasting your time. He has been with her 25 years, its not likely he is going anywhere but back to his wife.

Sure he is willing to use you as a booty call.. If that good enough for you then that's all you are going to get.
Talk is cheap ,he can promise you anything.
I think you deserve far more than that and you are only selling yourself short by waiting for him.

Actually I had a date once with a guy who said he was
newly divorced. He said that his wife would never have
sex with him and he could not live that way, and why
should he? Of course everything he told me was blamed
on his ex-wife and I felt bad for him.
We were our for dinner and his phone rang, he just hit
the button where it would go to his voice mail. It kept
ringing and I told him to take it, it might be an emergency.
He did and I could hear everything this woman was screaming
at him. When he got off of the phone, he said I need to
tell you something. He said I am still married. That was
my wife wanting to know where I was.
I had already heard the conversation so I knew he had lied
to me from the beginning. I said a few choice words and
told him to lose my number and I got up and left.
Any time someone is married, you do not want to get involved.
I had no clue that guy was married still but I knew I was
not staying there because I did not want the drama. Just
make sure he is telling you the truth, I kind of doubt he is.
I say walk away with your head held high and never look back.
DO NOT WAIT FOR HIM, DO NOT GIVE HIM TIME.
HE IS NOT GOING TO LEAVE HIS WIFE NO MATTER WHAT!!
THEY ALWAYS SAY, ITS CHEAPER TO KEEP HER!!!!

N2000 ~You asked, you want to know our opinion, therefore, this is my opinion. You're only hearing one side of the story about what is going on between him and his wife (He told you, he tried to help her many ways but she is getting upset when he talk about sex)(She does not corporate with these. So what is our opinions?). IT is my opinion that, he is only going to tell you what you want to hear so he can keep you stung along. He and his wife may have a great sex life, there is no way he would admit to having sex with his wife if he getting what he wants from you.

If they divorced and he married you, I lay odds he would do the same to you. Is that what you want?

He is a liar and a cheat, he is what he is, perhaps you need this type of relationship to enjoy sex. Some women do... Everything changes when they get what they thought they wanted. HE'LL be off to bigger and better things and you will be the wife sitting at home mad.

Hi N2000,
You may be right, the sex may be fantastic, it usually is.
The Laughter Genuine, the Love Real (because we are all capable of loving more than one) What he's telling you may be the truth, prom personal experience Marriage and Money stress can kill a sexual relationship.
You are uncomplicated and fresh to him, you come with less baggage (at least whatever baggage he is invested in) the sex is going to be better, as there are no previous trouble's to vent on.eat and tear
The good time's are going to be sweeter for the same reason's.
Many will tell you that he is a heel, and that he will just use you, and to be honest, when compared to Wife and Kids, if it comes down to it, it about how much of your heart and soul you have invested in the relationship.
His previous will have an incredible pull on his heart and soul, (this is something else many of the H8'rs will not tell you) these feelings are, and can be genuine and Valid, after all,,he built the previous relationship with blood sweat and tears.
If his previous call him back, and especially if there are kids involved, and he is a caring person, im afraid you are going to be the one who loses out ultimately.
This does not make him a bad person,,,nor does it make you a fool for caring. We are all human,, and we all need love and companionship after all.

My advice to you at this stage would be to give him an ultimatum (this is the only way you can be sure) to leave his wife(divorce) and Marry you.
But remember,,,He left one relationship to be with you when the going got tough,,,,and if you and he experience rough time's,,the writing will be on the wall for you,, he will be inclined to leave you as well.

If he waver's.....Walk on,,do not look back.

For yourself, it would be better for you to walk on,,and find your own "Non Complicated" lover who will have less baggage.
Treasure the memories, because we all only get one turn at this wheel of life.
I hope the best for you,,stay strong!! xx

Thanks all my friends for your kind feedback. I feel much better. But still I have feeling for him that I cannot forget easily. I would like to know some advise from men who married and in same situation. Sexless marriage. Other thing is I know his all information address, work, wife work,relatives. How can I think he is lying.If he had sex with wife he telling me. Different is she is not active like me. Is there are any married men here who in sexless marriage??? Please give me some advise
Thank you

Walk away... I have heard female friends tell me this story.. and have also heard men use the same story...

If you still want to try... Ask him to meet with some of his close friends.. (you must know some of their names, if you were that close).. See if he is willing to let you talk with his friends, without him in the room.. Ask them about "her" and what kind of person she is.. and about him..

Personally, though.. I think you already know it was a mistake and are settling for less than you want.., right..?

Can you trust someone who cheated on their spouse, to not cheat on you..? I wouldn't..

Its a disaster to carry on with a man who shares a home with a woman who isn't a relative

wife or otherwise

in my experience, a man can make all kinds of CLAIMS of whats going on,, but presume they have a commitment with that woman,, whatever they say

and if its such a bad situation, expect them to be mature enough to end it,, BEFORE you ever get involved,,,don't start out in the expectation that they are GOING TO DO IT LATER,,,

Last word,, You are not a cell phone with call waiting.
It is wrong of him to ask you to wait while he tries again with his wife.
It is Wronger for you to even consider giving him any time at all.

You need to get control of your self worth......WALK ON !!!!!!

Sorry, but I think you knew what you were getting involved with from the start. However, his wife is nothing to do with you. Are you okay with being treated second best? He won't leave his wife, because if he did, his poor little ego would be dented. Sorry, but how much sympathy am I meant to give? If he really loved her, he'd never have considered sleeping with another behind her back. I've noticed that there's suddenly an influx of women, having affairs with married men. If that's the latest fashion, then no thanks. I think he personally should ask for help himself. After all, he's the one controlling this whole thing. Maybe you don't mind, but what's stopping you from having a fully committed relationship with someone? Just saying, though. It confuses me. It saddens me.

I suppose if you love him for his honesty and integrity and high moral standards then....

.... Wrong thread.

Things Bill Clinton would say?

HEY...wait a minute! Do I look like Alex Trebek to you Goof?

consensus

always a bad idea to get involved with someone who is already sharing a life with someone else

however they claim the situation is working or 'not working' for them

let them bet into a living SINGLE situation , before becoming involved,,,

it's nice to see kind feedback and while what everyone has
said has merit, it really does say alot of your character too,
to be with a married man. no matter what crap he may
feed you, you are taking part, and i don't think that makes
you an angel. i wonder if she knows of you?
you kind of reap what you sew. good luck.

Your partner in adultery has already proven himself to be a liar and a cheater. What makes you think that he'd stop being a liar and a cheater just for you?

I have to agree with him...if he is in a sexless
marriage and they are not happy, you should ask
him to meet some of his friends. If he says that
he can't let you do that, then you know he is a
liar. Do you know where he lives? Do you know his
home number? If you were to call him and tell him
that you needed him, would he come and be with you?
Is everything on his terms? Do you only meet him
when he is available? Do you ever get to spend the
holidays with him? Sorry I am asking so many questions
but I just wanted you to think. If most of your answers
are NO, then you really need to stop and do a lot of
thinking.