There was once a guy who was arrested for having sex with a cow. This means he was warned many times and just couldn't fight the urge. I would never have sex with a cow!. Because I am lactose intolerant.

What animal would I have sex with. A horse, because after you always have a ride home.

-Dave Attell

so I guess you just lost you thread posting privileges for

posting in the chit chat & not the joke sec

ya they like to hit you hard the first time

like somethings are hard to categorize so it comes down to

a judgment call,; so you will get leniency but this was a no brainer

so they will hit you will a stern stupidity tax.

hope you don't get the max! that would suck, if that happens

then you might as when just pick up shop.

oh well, lets tell some joke

cont.

This trucker is driving out across death valley
When he comes upon this poor guy beat to hell
Tied and gagged and basically left to die
Trucker gets out and pulls the gag from the guys mouth
Asking WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO YOU ?
We picked up a hitch hiker and he beat me up and pistol whipped me
Tied me up and took off with my wife and my car !
So what do you say mister ...you gonna help me out ?
The trucker looked him up and down dropping his zipper
And tells him....BOY THIS JUST ISN'T YOUR DAY

A man says to a cocktail waitress: "Why don't you come sit on my lap and we'll talk about the first thing that comes up."

so did she slap him or get a bigger tip ?

He meant that they'll talk about his bon er.

...I KNOW

speaking of cows am sure I have 4 or 5 cow jokes alone

sorry I just had to slip out for a bit,

why do they call it PMS?......CUZ mad cow disease was taken
sort of a cow joke.

Haha, mad cow disease. Haha, nice.

that's a good one, herd it years ago..good one

young bull & old bull are on a bluff looking down they see

a big herd of cows.
so the young bull is all excited and says , we should run down there
& f♡ck a couple a cows, well the old bull says, I tell you what, why don't we
just meander down there and f♡ ck em all

aw Holly your still kikin' are ya, good & good to see ya!
going to be up I while? i'll edit back in and tell another joke

old guy and his wife are driving down the road & he sees a sign
COW FOR $50, 000, so he talks to the guy & says " now there ain't no
cow werth no $50, 000" so the owner shows him the cow & he says
ya she's a beautiful cow all right there, but she just ain't werth no $50, 000:"
so the owner say " come here then" & picks up the tail and the cow
has a womans (C U N.ext t.ue!) he's just freaking out saying "I can't believe it"
shaking his head "I just can't believe it" as he walks of to the car.

driving down the road, shaking his head, that's all he could say.

Finley his wife said " what is it! what can't you believe"..."that man

back there has a cow! with a woman's C U N.ext T.ue! werth $50, 000!

I got a woman with a cows C U Next Tue that ain't werth a pinch a chit!

hehe I look forward to it.

I just felt like I wanted a place to post jokes either from the comedians I listen to or what ever weird crap pops into my head. I would have put this in the games section. But I don't think this is a game.

Two bulls are grazing in the field when they see the farmer pull up with a trailer with another bull in it. The older bull says d*mn it I had to give up 50 of the cows when you came along and I'm to old to be fighting another bull.

The younger one says well I'm young enough I'll just kick his butt so neither of us have to give any up.

Finally the farmer opens up the gate on the trailer and the biggest baddest bull they had seen step outs. The older of the first bulls sees him and says ah well, I guess he can have half of mine.

The younger bull starts pawing the ground and snorting and carrying on. The older bull says are you nuts? He'll rip you apart. Just give him half your cows.

The younger one replies, Half! H*ll he can have all of them. I just want to make sure he knows I'm not one of them.

your funny izzy! you crack me up!

my jokes above is you mised it

I'm dyslexic

*playfully pushes pony* tsk tsk tsk.. lol

Nah. I didn't miss it. I did think you were serious at first and was a bit confused. But I figured out you were kidding. I just wanted to explain why I started this topic.

Now now miss Hood. Miss Holly Hood. If you're going to play in here you need to do it right. Use this club to him over head and then leave him in the corner when you're done.

Aww i could never hurt a pony. ;)

Well I'll knock him out for ya then. Just put him in the corner when your done. hahaha