An atheist was walking through the woods.

'What majestic trees!'
'What powerful rivers!'
'What beautiful animals!'
He said to himself.


As he was walking alongside the river, he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him.


He turned to look. He saw a 7-foot grizzly bear charge towards him.

He ran as fast as he could up the path. He looked over his shoulder & saw that the bear was closing in on him.


He looked over his shoulder again, & the bear was even closer.


He tripped & fell on the ground.


He rolled over to pick himself up but saw that the bear was right on top of him, reaching for him with his left paw & raising his right paw to strike him.


At that instant moment, the Atheist cried out:
'Oh my God!'

Time stopped.
The bear froze.
The forest was silent.

As a bright light shone upon the man, a voice came out of the sky.

'You deny my existence for all these years, teach others I don't exist and even credit creation to cosmic accident.'
'Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament?'

'Am I to count you as a believer?'

The atheist looked directly into the light, and said: 'It would be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask you to treat me as a believer now, but perhaps you could make the BEAR a believer?'

'Very well', said the voice.

The light went out. The sounds of the forest resumed. And the bear dropped his right paw, brought both paws together, bowed his head & spoke:

'Lord bless this food, which I am about to receive, Amen.'

LOL. That joke is funny on a couple levels, but mostly for me, because God's existence is about as likely as a talking bear.

I'm an Atheist, but Atheism isn't about steadfastly denying God's existence regardless of proof to the contrary, but it's more accepting God's non-existence (and saying so) until seeing proof to the contrary. I wonder which sect of religion the Atheist in the joke was supposed to convert to (as an alternative to being eaten), if he suddenly took up a belief in God. Judaism? Islam? Evangelical Christianity?

funny because it's true

This is almost as funny as a church roof collapsing on 1000 followers just as they were groveling to god's majesty.

actually,what happened is,the Wanderer in the Woods was one of those Gungrabbing Senators,and the Grizzly was extremely peeved to be about forbidden to Bear Arms!

Funny joke as is; however, if this dude were a pagan he would have speared that bear in the chest and throat and drug it home.

Real-life Final Destination
Friday, September 11, 2009
Church altar smites devout Catholic:

A devout Catholic who popped into church to thank God for a his rescue from a lift was crushed to death by a 860lb stone altar, the Telegraph reports.

Police spokesman Roman Hahslinger explained that Gunther Link, 45, was "a very religious man and had been scared when he was trapped in the lift and had prayed for release".

He continued: "A short while later he was pulled out of the elevator and he went straight to the church to thank God."

God works in mysterious ways...

reminds me of the saying "there are no atheists in a foxhole"

I thought it was funny for this reason. My late daughter-in-law was a doctor and very well educated. She was also an Atheist. Once when she and my son were flying somewhere for an extended education class, their plane was hit by wind shear. The plane fell and all the oxygen masks dropped out of their consoles, people started screaming. She started praying to God for His help, out loud, crying and saying she didn't want to die.. She later told me she prayed by instinct..but she never was quite the full blown Atheist after that..and when she was dying of cancer a few years later, she asked for a priest so she could be saved before she died.
People have their own reasons for believing what they do.
The end of the joke just reminded me to be careful what you wish for..you might just get it.

Before I could answer the question of whether or not I am an "atheist" I would need to consider who asked the question and what their concept of "God" is.

I do believe in some very mystical things but the Biblical concept of "God" is not one of them.

I also believe that the nature of existence is consciousness and I understand what it means to say "I am God."

I exist. That is my proof of something very miraculous. I don't know what "I" is exactly as I am not speaking of my body, or my mind.


The joke was funny, but its an old one I have heard it several times.

it is an old joke..and was only posted as a joke..nothing more..each person has the right of their own religion ...or none.

depends, the definition of atheist I Was taught is one who denies Gods existence,, one who doesnt COMMIT to this denial is agnostic,,,

(according to the definitions taught in school, anyhow)

just goes to show, even outside of religion, labels dont truly let you know what an individual believes,,,

cute joke

Mortman: The bear knew the Language of God and you assert you do not. Who am I to argue with you? God embraced the bear at the behest of the stupid and stubborn man (because he denied his own perception/knowledge), and God allowed the man to be consumed for the betterment of His follower, the bear. I LOL when I read it! My view is that I would prefer to have you stand with us so you are not consumed.

Please keep in mind that as that roof came down, 999 or more of those worshippers would not want the same for you that you had asked for them. Who among them would want their last act on Earth to be one of bitterness? You would have failed.

I thought the joke was very funny. Thank you for posting it. :)

don't tell me you are taking this Joke for the Gospel Truth?

In a former life, I was eaten by lions. They were extremely thankful. As my soul was taken out of my body, I could feel an enormous amount of love coming from the lions. I experienced this in a dream so I am thinking it may have been an actual experience, perhaps in some other life.