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| Topic: This might be a touchy subject... but... | |
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Subject 1 An ex is an ex for a reason, so why would I go backwards? Once I date someone and it does not work out, it probably would never work the second time. I can remain friends with an ex UNLESS they lied or cheated. Subject 2 If I am not treated equal, I won't be in a relationship. NO man is going to tell me what I am going to do, I pay my own bills. Subject 3 Whenever I go out on a first date, I don't want it to seem like I am on a job interview. I don't mind being asked questions, but I don't want to be put under a microscope either. I want a first date to just go smoothly and by that first date, I have already asked a lot of questions OR I would never be going on that date! hi unsure... thank you for your thoughtful reply to the 3 subjects... your answers give me food for thought... 
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Going on to another question...It would be hard for me to be with a man who needs to play "king of the hill" or "top dog" or boss or the absolute and final "authority" of the family...If I tried to be with a man like this our life together would make good "material" for a sit-com or "Saturday Night Live" skit...In "closed systems" (like this) everyone is suppose to go along with the "existing order" and play out their "assigned roles" and never question any of it...I ask too many questions...I don't want to live my life playing out "set roles" forever and ever. I want to "grow beyond" who I used to be yesterday and who I am today...This isn't possible in a "closed system" with "set" rules and roles.
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Going on to another question...It would be hard for me to be with a man who needs to play "king of the hill" or "top dog" or boss or the absolute and final "authority" of the family...If I tried to be with a man like this our life together would make good "material" for a sit-com or "Saturday Night Live" skit...In "closed systems" (like this) everyone is suppose to go along with the "existing order" and play out their "assigned roles" and never question any of it...I ask too many questions...I don't want to live my life playing out "set roles" forever and ever. I want to "grow beyond" who I used to be yesterday and who I am today...This isn't possible in a "closed system" with "set" rules and roles. yes, I agree... and I enjoyed reading this while smiling at the thought of a parody being played out about your reactions...  I can just see the look on your face the first time you were given a direct order... 
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Going on to another question...It would be hard for me to be with a man who needs to play "king of the hill" or "top dog" or boss or the absolute and final "authority" of the family...If I tried to be with a man like this our life together would make good "material" for a sit-com or "Saturday Night Live" skit...In "closed systems" (like this) everyone is suppose to go along with the "existing order" and play out their "assigned roles" and never question any of it...I ask too many questions...I don't want to live my life playing out "set roles" forever and ever. I want to "grow beyond" who I used to be yesterday and who I am today...This isn't possible in a "closed system" with "set" rules and roles. yes, I agree... and If enjoyed reading this while smiling at the thought of a parody being played out about your reactions... I can just see the look on your face the first time you were given a direct order...
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Exes are exes for a reason. Of course, I remarried mine once. Once was enough and twice was more than enough.
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Exes are exes for a reason. Of course, I remarried mine once. Once was enough and twice was more than enough.
I dated my ex for about a year after we divorced but I knew not to remarry him, because he had not changed. He was a "Great" date and that is why I married him, he was like a Prince Charming. It is nice to part as friends but do not remarry a ex husband. |
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Subject # 1… Do you return to an ex? You start dating someone new, and your ex, who you’ve broken up with finds out, and now they want you back, and do everything within their power to remind you of why you are so good together, and they’re really sorry things didn’t work out before, but the two of you know in your hearts you should be together. Do you leave your new lover and return to the other one, or put the last lover on hold while you see if this new relationship turns serious, only going back to the other one if this new one doesn’t work out? Subject # 2… Do you do as you’re told? Let’s say you are still abiding by old school convention in your intimate relationships, in which the man continues to hold the majority of sway over his woman/wife, to the point where he advises her on how to dress, the amount of makeup she can wear, her friends she can/can’t hang out with, he requires her to tell him where she’s going and with whom, and that she stays in contact with him via cell/text while she’s away from the house… simultaneously, both partners work and bring home the bacon, and they split their living expenses equally, like roommates do... yet the man spends the rest of his income on himself, and requires the woman to spend the rest of her income on herself… so, in this type of scenario, is the woman obligated to follow/obey the man’s advice about how he wants her to conduct herself as his other half… or can she just do as she likes, ignoring what he wants, because he’s not providing for her financially? Subject # 3… What would you say if? We’re here Mingling with people we’d like to befriend, and possibly even become romantically involved with. Some of us, who are single and actively participating on the forums, disclose things about ourselves that we don’t mind letting everyone know because it’s not sensitive information. Plus, by opening up like this we make it easier to become acquainted with each other. And, if in the process of becoming cyber-friends we happen to meet the next love of our lives, we’ll share even more personal things about ourselves with each other. So, what is something about your expectations of a new partner that you two would discuss on your first date? Such as: you do/don’t want someone with pets, do/don’t want someone with tattoos, do/don’t want someone who smokes/drinks, do/don’t want someone with college degrees, etc… this is your chance to put it all on the table so as not to waste either of your time with more dates that end up going nowhere… so what did you need to air to shorten this process? Depends on how good the story turned out the first time. Sounds like someone who just likes getting bossed around, well, if they stay anyway. Can she hold a conversation? To hell with the rest of the expectations, I just want someone who isn't going to stare at me like I'm creating a fictional landscape when I start talking about space. she might just be speechless because of your awesomeness |
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Going on to another question...It would be hard for me to be with a man who needs to play "king of the hill" or "top dog" or boss or the absolute and final "authority" of the family...If I tried to be with a man like this our life together would make good "material" for a sit-com or "Saturday Night Live" skit...In "closed systems" (like this) everyone is suppose to go along with the "existing order" and play out their "assigned roles" and never question any of it...I ask too many questions...I don't want to live my life playing out "set roles" forever and ever. I want to "grow beyond" who I used to be yesterday and who I am today...This isn't possible in a "closed system" with "set" rules and roles. yes, I agree... and If enjoyed reading this while smiling at the thought of a parody being played out about your reactions... I can just see the look on your face the first time you were given a direct order...
yeah, I get you... me and my ex didn't boss each other around either, we knew what our rolls were and carried them out automatically... after so many years together, you just know the routine, and anything new that came up, which ever one of us was better at handling it, did... |
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Exes are exes for a reason. Of course, I remarried mine once. Once was enough and twice was more than enough.
my parents did the same thing.. married, divorced 7 yrs later, then remarried a year later to keep the family together... then divorced again later... what doesn't work the first time generally doesn't any times after that either...
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Exes are exes for a reason. Of course, I remarried mine once. Once was enough and twice was more than enough.
I dated my ex for about a year after we divorced but I knew not to remarry him, because he had not changed. He was a "Great" date and that is why I married him, he was like a Prince Charming. It is nice to part as friends but do not remarry a ex husband. Agree totally...
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she might just be speechless because of your awesomeness If only that were the case. |
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Subject # 1… Do you return to an ex? You start dating someone new, and your ex, who you’ve broken up with finds out, and now they want you back, and do everything within their power to remind you of why you are so good together, and they’re really sorry things didn’t work out before, but the two of you know in your hearts you should be together. Do you leave your new lover and return to the other one, or put the last lover on hold while you see if this new relationship turns serious, only going back to the other one if this new one doesn’t work out? Subject # 2… Do you do as you’re told? Let’s say you are still abiding by old school convention in your intimate relationships, in which the man continues to hold the majority of sway over his woman/wife, to the point where he advises her on how to dress, the amount of makeup she can wear, her friends she can/can’t hang out with, he requires her to tell him where she’s going and with whom, and that she stays in contact with him via cell/text while she’s away from the house… simultaneously, both partners work and bring home the bacon, and they split their living expenses equally, like roommates do... yet the man spends the rest of his income on himself, and requires the woman to spend the rest of her income on herself… so, in this type of scenario, is the woman obligated to follow/obey the man’s advice about how he wants her to conduct herself as his other half… or can she just do as she likes, ignoring what he wants, because he’s not providing for her financially? Subject # 3… What would you say if? We’re here Mingling with people we’d like to befriend, and possibly even become romantically involved with. Some of us, who are single and actively participating on the forums, disclose things about ourselves that we don’t mind letting everyone know because it’s not sensitive information. Plus, by opening up like this we make it easier to become acquainted with each other. And, if in the process of becoming cyber-friends we happen to meet the next love of our lives, we’ll share even more personal things about ourselves with each other. So, what is something about your expectations of a new partner that you two would discuss on your first date? Such as: you do/don’t want someone with pets, do/don’t want someone with tattoos, do/don’t want someone who smokes/drinks, do/don’t want someone with college degrees, etc… this is your chance to put it all on the table so as not to waste either of your time with more dates that end up going nowhere… so what did you need to air to shorten this process? Subject # 1....The ex can keep that piece of my life that i willingly gave to him, i'll not be needing it back. Subject # 2....I very much doubt i would find myself in such a disrespectful relationship to begin with. But i suppose if that is what some women seek...then it's by their own choice that they shall oblige yes? Subject # 3....I have read many times over about equality between men & women, but it's not been explained in depth to what they expect by 'being equal' For me personally...equality is not about being able to bench press the same amount of weights as a significant other in the gym, or who is faster at changing a tyre on a car...I acknowledge that he will be by far physically stronger than i. But when it comes to having each others back no matter what?...this is where he must be my equal. So i expect the same loyalty from him as i myself give...without hesitation. Ha!...reminds me of a quote. "He who hesitates....shouldn't have" |
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she might just be speechless because of your awesomeness If only that were the case. you prefer silence then? |
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I actually prefer they know what it is I'm talking about.
Most I can get is "What a wonderful world you created in your head." |
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#1 Any 'X's' are like left-overs; once they are left, leave them be.
#2 I don't believe in any form of slavery, be it commercial or domestic #3 Better to concentrate on mutually shared things that we have in common. Chemistry? Sometimes shared common interests changes any negative chemistry to one much more positive. Be open. |
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Edited by
AthenaRose2
on
Sun 02/24/13 11:59 PM
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Subject # 1… Do you return to an ex? You start dating someone new, and your ex, who you’ve broken up with finds out, and now they want you back, and do everything within their power to remind you of why you are so good together, and they’re really sorry things didn’t work out before, but the two of you know in your hearts you should be together. Do you leave your new lover and return to the other one, or put the last lover on hold while you see if this new relationship turns serious, only going back to the other one if this new one doesn’t work out? Subject # 2… Do you do as you’re told? Let’s say you are still abiding by old school convention in your intimate relationships, in which the man continues to hold the majority of sway over his woman/wife, to the point where he advises her on how to dress, the amount of makeup she can wear, her friends she can/can’t hang out with, he requires her to tell him where she’s going and with whom, and that she stays in contact with him via cell/text while she’s away from the house… simultaneously, both partners work and bring home the bacon, and they split their living expenses equally, like roommates do... yet the man spends the rest of his income on himself, and requires the woman to spend the rest of her income on herself… so, in this type of scenario, is the woman obligated to follow/obey the man’s advice about how he wants her to conduct herself as his other half… or can she just do as she likes, ignoring what he wants, because he’s not providing for her financially? Subject # 3… What would you say if? We’re here Mingling with people we’d like to befriend, and possibly even become romantically involved with. Some of us, who are single and actively participating on the forums, disclose things about ourselves that we don’t mind letting everyone know because it’s not sensitive information. Plus, by opening up like this we make it easier to become acquainted with each other. And, if in the process of becoming cyber-friends we happen to meet the next love of our lives, we’ll share even more personal things about ourselves with each other. So, what is something about your expectations of a new partner that you two would discuss on your first date? Such as: you do/don’t want someone with pets, do/don’t want someone with tattoos, do/don’t want someone who smokes/drinks, do/don’t want someone with college degrees, etc… this is your chance to put it all on the table so as not to waste either of your time with more dates that end up going nowhere… so what did you need to air to shorten this process? Subject # 1....The ex can keep that piece of my life that i willingly gave to him, i'll not be needing it back. Subject # 2....I very much doubt i would find myself in such a disrespectful relationship to begin with. But i suppose if that is what some women seek...then it's by their own choice that they shall oblige yes? Subject # 3....I have read many times over about equality between men & women, but it's not been explained in depth to what they expect by 'being equal' For me personally...equality is not about being able to bench press the same amount of weights as a significant other in the gym, or who is faster at changing a tyre on a car...I acknowledge that he will be by far physically stronger than i. But when it comes to having each others back no matter what?...this is where he must be my equal. So i expect the same loyalty from him as i myself give...without hesitation. Ha!...reminds me of a quote. "He who hesitates....shouldn't have" hi kahurangi, you're answer to #1 is pretty cool... #2, I can only dream about living in the part of the world where men don't disrespect women... #3, I've never seen true equality among men and women either, and I'm very well rounded and know too many people to think otherwise. I know plenty of men that respect their wives completely, and even take their advice about many things, but they are never treated as equals or the man would not be the head of their home and thereby getting the respect he deserves for being the families leader... your final quote..
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#1 Any 'X's' are like left-overs; once they are left, leave them be. #2 I don't believe in any form of slavery, be it commercial or domestic #3 Better to concentrate on mutually shared things that we have in common. Chemistry? Sometimes shared common interests changes any negative chemistry to one much more positive. Be open.
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Subject # 1… Do you return to an ex? You start dating someone new, and your ex, who you’ve broken up with finds out, and now they want you back, and do everything within their power to remind you of why you are so good together, and they’re really sorry things didn’t work out before, but the two of you know in your hearts you should be together. Do you leave your new lover and return to the other one, or put the last lover on hold while you see if this new relationship turns serious, only going back to the other one if this new one doesn’t work out? Subject # 2… Do you do as you’re told? Let’s say you are still abiding by old school convention in your intimate relationships, in which the man continues to hold the majority of sway over his woman/wife, to the point where he advises her on how to dress, the amount of makeup she can wear, her friends she can/can’t hang out with, he requires her to tell him where she’s going and with whom, and that she stays in contact with him via cell/text while she’s away from the house… simultaneously, both partners work and bring home the bacon, and they split their living expenses equally, like roommates do... yet the man spends the rest of his income on himself, and requires the woman to spend the rest of her income on herself… so, in this type of scenario, is the woman obligated to follow/obey the man’s advice about how he wants her to conduct herself as his other half… or can she just do as she likes, ignoring what he wants, because he’s not providing for her financially? Subject # 3… What would you say if? We’re here Mingling with people we’d like to befriend, and possibly even become romantically involved with. Some of us, who are single and actively participating on the forums, disclose things about ourselves that we don’t mind letting everyone know because it’s not sensitive information. Plus, by opening up like this we make it easier to become acquainted with each other. And, if in the process of becoming cyber-friends we happen to meet the next love of our lives, we’ll share even more personal things about ourselves with each other. So, what is something about your expectations of a new partner that you two would discuss on your first date? Such as: you do/don’t want someone with pets, do/don’t want someone with tattoos, do/don’t want someone who smokes/drinks, do/don’t want someone with college degrees, etc… this is your chance to put it all on the table so as not to waste either of your time with more dates that end up going nowhere… so what did you need to air to shorten this process? No, I dont return to my ex because what makes her think that this time it will work? I take r/ship seriously when I am in it. |
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My father likes to think that he's the head of the family and he can be a bit of a control freak. For insstance, he insists on doing the driving and if my mother goes to pick him up from somewhere she has to get out of the driving seat so that he can take the wheel. He likes to think that he controls the finances and he was spending money (wasting it really) on luxuries for himself after he had retired and my mother was still working and bringing the money in.
In reality though my mother almost always gets her way when it comes to important decisions, or at least my dad will sort of go along with what she wants and just grumble about it or be difficult. Many relationships seem to work pretty much like that with men grumbling about what women are like but just putting up with their ways to keep them happy and have a quiet life. |
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Please,AR,NOOOO,no exes!!
Bse,i mean,why did you break up in the 1st place?? Why would anyone walk backwards when they've been there already?? Move on,dont look back! I dont go back,i dont look back! |
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