100% FREE ONLINE DATING
sponsored links
Previous
| Topic: This might be a touchy subject... but... | |
|---|---|
|
|
|
subject…1 what gives anyone the right to put someone else on hold while they re-explore something from their past? the word ‘egomaniacal' comes to mind here. subject…2 i would never become involved with anyone that would allow me to treat her this way. (not that i would ever be like this) this sounds like a dictatorship, not a relationship. subject…3 i am a big believer in chemistry, much more than i am, in lists. 1) I was speaking figuratively, not literally.. you know.. like keeping them in the back of your mind... 2) Well, these types of couples are common in these parts 3) Yea, I like chemistry too, but it doesn't come knocking on our doors, so that's what these forums are for, to get to know each other |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
I got half way through that O.P and had to go take a cat nap.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
JB, you found a picture of me!
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
subject…1 what gives anyone the right to put someone else on hold while they re-explore something from their past? the word ‘egomaniacal' comes to mind here. subject…2 i would never become involved with anyone that would allow me to treat her this way. (not that i would ever be like this) this sounds like a dictatorship, not a relationship. subject…3 i am a big believer in chemistry, much more than i am, in lists. 1) I was speaking figuratively, not literally.. you know.. like keeping them in the back of your mind... 2) Well, these types of couples are common in these parts 3) Yea, I like chemistry too, but it doesn't come knocking on our doors, so that's what these forums are for, to get to know each other 1) i know freud felt that were at least three people in every bed, but i’ve always thought it best, while pursuing something, (be it new or revisited) it’s better to not have other things on one’s mind. 2) a sad commentary, but i suppose we are products of our environment’s. moving from southern california to the south, i have first-hand knowledge of the many differences our regional upbringing can produce. 3) true, however, in my experience, chemistry far outweighs any sort of check-list. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
Edited by
Jeanniebean
on
Sat 02/23/13 12:11 PM
|
|
JB, you found a picture of me! 
I think I am developing a short attention span. This O.P. is too long and it takes brain energy to read all of that. I did chuckle at the question about whether I would do as I am told. Strangely, the answer is yes. I tend to be an obedient slave. I don't like it though. (That is why I like being single. There is no master around to boss me.) The thing about master and slave, Boss and employee, relationships etc. is that they are both basically slaves. One has to do all the thinking. The other just follows orders. If the master knows more, thinks better and keeps us out of trouble and tells me when to duck and dodge the bullets, yes I will do as I am told. But if he does not have good judgement and keeps putting us into a jam that I have to dig us out of, then I will fire him as the boss and take over. Does that make sense? |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
subject…1 what gives anyone the right to put someone else on hold while they re-explore something from their past? the word ‘egomaniacal' comes to mind here. subject…2 i would never become involved with anyone that would allow me to treat her this way. (not that i would ever be like this) this sounds like a dictatorship, not a relationship. subject…3 i am a big believer in chemistry, much more than i am, in lists. 1) I was speaking figuratively, not literally.. you know.. like keeping them in the back of your mind... 2) Well, these types of couples are common in these parts 3) Yea, I like chemistry too, but it doesn't come knocking on our doors, so that's what these forums are for, to get to know each other 1) i know freud felt that were at least three people in every bed, but i’ve always thought it best, while pursuing something, (be it new or revisited) it’s better to not have other things on one’s mind. 2) a sad commentary, but i suppose we are products of our environment’s. moving from southern california to the south, i have first-hand knowledge of the many differences our regional upbringing can produce. 3) true, however, in my experience, chemistry far outweighs any sort of check-list. Here's another one Kev!  I especially like number 1 
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
AthenaRose...My first husband (way back when) went "all out" to hold on to me when our divorce was in the "works."...This would have been great if I felt his intentions were sincere. But I had a chance to get to know him pretty well through the years and he relied on his so-called "charm" and manipulation tactics when all else "failed." So I didn't "buy" any of it or get "sucked" back "in."...We had kids together and through the years we developed a "truce" and became friends. (We had a brother/sister or cousin type of relationship since we were both "only children" who didn't come from large families.)...Anyway my first husband came to holidays at my parent's house along with my "new" husband. (They became friends.)...And we always spent Christmas Eve at my first MIL's house every year...My first husband's Mom treated my "new husband" like her beloved nephew...This set a good example for my sons. And they had a chance to know and love and enjoy 2 Dads! this is a great story.. Greeneyes, everybody being are able to still be friends and enjoy each others company... much like the way me and my ex's and their ex's get along too... it was funny, every time we had a holiday gathering all the men would go off together to talk men talk, and we women would gather to talk about the men… lol… which of course the men teased us about while also fearing what we’d revealed about them… but it was all in good fun… |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Too many word things... Obviously still hooked on ex.... Not good. No point in trying to love ya until you realize that you are talking about something that failed .... If you can mention an ex in the same breath you are on a date site....be prepared to introduce your new love to your ex....which will score you zero points with the new love. Matter of fact...if you even mention a failed relationship to your newest wooing...you will NEVER get any serious love.....  so true
how'a it going happy hunkster? 
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Subject # 3… What would you say if? We’re here Mingling with people we’d like to befriend, and possibly even become romantically involved with. Some of us, who are single and actively participating on the forums, disclose things about ourselves that we don’t mind letting everyone know because it’s not sensitive information. Plus, by opening up like this we make it easier to become acquainted with each other. And, if in the process of becoming cyber-friends we happen to meet the next love of our lives, we’ll share even more personal things about ourselves with each other. So, what is something about your expectations of a new partner that you two would discuss on your first date? Such as: you do/don’t want someone with pets, do/don’t want someone with tattoos, do/don’t want someone who smokes/drinks, do/don’t want someone with college degrees, etc… this is your chance to put it all on the table so as not to waste either of your time with more dates that end up going nowhere… so what did you need to air to shorten this process? I think that if it had got as far as actually aranging a date I would already know basic stuff like whether or not they smoked or had pets or a decent education. I don't go on a date with a bunch of questions ready like it's a multiple choice test that they have to pass. I have a conversation with the lady and we get to know each other. Things are likely to come out during that conversation which will make us form opinions about each other. If I feel at the end of the date that I like her and want to see her again I say so and that's pretty much all there is to it. hi tawt, nice to see you again... I used the "such as" not as a list of questions, but to put in the reader's mind what kind of simple response we could give right now to let potential romantic partners who could be following our posts know what we like and don't like. That way, as you said, they will already know basic stuff about us before the first date. And I'm digging deeper in the questions I'm asking and willing to answer myself, because this is a dating site and we can use these forums to get to know each other better, and the only way to do that is to open up about ourselves. Personally, I think this is a cool way to communicate what we're about, so why don't we just relax and be honest and open now, when there's no pressure being placed on us to say the right thing, and no fear of rejection for saying the wrong thing. Maybe I'm a little over the top in the type of discussions I like to have, but this is just the way I am, and I choose to lay my cards on the table so people can get to know me more easily... So, here's something I would tell my date the first time we meet to discuss our future possibilities. I'm highly allergic to cigarette smoke and can't breathe, while also getting a headache and stopped up sinuses when I have to inhale second hand smoke. So, whoever my new partner would be, it would be preferable that he not smoke at all. However, I don't control what other people want to do with their lives, only how it affects me. So, if my new partner does smoke, then he will have to smoke outside of my house, and not smoke in my car.. etc... and if he doesn't agree to these terms, then we don't need to move forward with a second date... Well, I went out on a date with someone a few months ago and I told her that I smoke and I asked her if she had a problem with that. She said that it was alright as long as I didn't blow it in her face and I said that I just wouldn't smoke around her then. that was very polite of you to consider her feelings like that... |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Subject # 1… Do you return to an ex? You start dating someone new, and your ex, who you’ve broken up with finds out, and now they want you back, and do everything within their power to remind you of why you are so good together, and they’re really sorry things didn’t work out before Absolute typical behaviour from an ex. ..............
but the two of you know in your hearts you should be together. Do you leave your new lover and return to the other one, or put the last lover on hold while you see if this new relationship turns serious, only going back to the other one if this new one doesn’t work out?
Nope. If I am happy in my new relationship, I see no reason to suddenly change my mind and go back to said ex. Subject # 2… Do you do as you’re told?
Let’s say you are still abiding by old school convention in your intimate relationships, in which the man continues to hold the majority of sway over his woman/wife, to the point where he advises her on how to dress, the amount of makeup she can wear, her friends she can/can’t hang out with, he requires her to tell him where she’s going and with whom, and that she stays in contact with him via cell/text while she’s away from the house… simultaneously, both partners work and bring home the bacon, and they split their living expenses equally, like roommates do... yet the man spends the rest of his income on himself, and requires the woman to spend the rest of her income on herself… so, in this type of scenario, is the woman obligated to follow/obey the man’s advice about how he wants her to conduct herself as his other half… or can she just do as she likes, ignoring what he wants, because he’s not providing for her financially? If any man told me what to wear, I'd be out of there faster than a speeding train, and a speeding train is quite fast. 
Subject # 3… What would you say if we happen to meet the next love of our lives, we’ll share even more personal things about ourselves with each other. So, what is something about your expectations of a new partner that you two would discuss on your first date? Such as: you do/don’t want someone with pets, do/don’t want someone with tattoos, do/don’t want someone who smokes/drinks, do/don’t want someone with college degrees, etc… this is your chance to put it all on the table so as not to waste either of your time with more dates that end up going nowhere… so what did you need to air to shorten this process? He should already know the answers to them, as they're in my profile. ;)
I'm glad you can identify with the way some ex's can be... they never get over you until they find someone new... I guess I need to start reading more women's profiles to get an idea about what I should put on mine... 
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Too many word things... Obviously still hooked on ex.... Not good. No point in trying to love ya until you realize that you are talking about something that failed .... If you can mention an ex in the same breath you are on a date site....be prepared to introduce your new love to your ex....which will score you zero points with the new love. Matter of fact...if you even mention a failed relationship to your newest wooing...you will NEVER get any serious love..... thanks for all the advice, I'll keep it in mind... 
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Subject # 1… Do you return to an ex? Subject # 2… Do you do as you’re told? Subject # 3… What would you say if? # 1 Maybe I would date and ex boyfriend, It just depends, I have had some good men in my past as dates. #2 No #3 I would ask real personal questions in PM and on phone before any meet. It works well for me. cool... everybody answers this question assuming it was a bad break up.. when the relationship could've ended because they went off to college, or their parents didn't want them together... so I'm glad to see you are more open minded when thinking about this issue.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
I got half way through that O.P and had to go take a cat nap.
I love this jeanniebean.. awesome...
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
subject…1 what gives anyone the right to put someone else on hold while they re-explore something from their past? the word ‘egomaniacal' comes to mind here. subject…2 i would never become involved with anyone that would allow me to treat her this way. (not that i would ever be like this) this sounds like a dictatorship, not a relationship. subject…3 i am a big believer in chemistry, much more than i am, in lists. 1) I was speaking figuratively, not literally.. you know.. like keeping them in the back of your mind... 2) Well, these types of couples are common in these parts 3) Yea, I like chemistry too, but it doesn't come knocking on our doors, so that's what these forums are for, to get to know each other 1) i know freud felt that were at least three people in every bed, but i’ve always thought it best, while pursuing something, (be it new or revisited) it’s better to not have other things on one’s mind. 2) a sad commentary, but i suppose we are products of our environment’s. moving from southern california to the south, i have first-hand knowledge of the many differences our regional upbringing can produce. 3) true, however, in my experience, chemistry far outweighs any sort of check-list. I'll let you in on a little secret.. some guys find us gals that make lists to be quite attractive... what's even more fun is when they give us a check list to answer in return.. instant chemistry...
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
I'm a big believer in spontaneity.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
JB, you found a picture of me!
I think I am developing a short attention span. This O.P. is too long and it takes brain energy to read all of that. I did chuckle at the question about whether I would do as I am told. Strangely, the answer is yes. I tend to be an obedient slave. I don't like it though. (That is why I like being single. There is no master around to boss me.) The thing about master and slave, Boss and employee, relationships etc. is that they are both basically slaves. One has to do all the thinking. The other just follows orders. If the master knows more, thinks better and keeps us out of trouble and tells me when to duck and dodge the bullets, yes I will do as I am told. But if he does not have good judgement and keeps putting us into a jam that I have to dig us out of, then I will fire him as the boss and take over. Does that make sense? perfectly... but like I said from git go.. "this might be a touchy subject"
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
I'm a big believer in spontaneity. it certainly can add spice to life...
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
JB, you found a picture of me!
I think I am developing a short attention span. This O.P. is too long and it takes brain energy to read all of that. I did chuckle at the question about whether I would do as I am told. Strangely, the answer is yes. I tend to be an obedient slave. I don't like it though. (That is why I like being single. There is no master around to boss me.) The thing about master and slave, Boss and employee, relationships etc. is that they are both basically slaves. One has to do all the thinking. The other just follows orders. If the master knows more, thinks better and keeps us out of trouble and tells me when to duck and dodge the bullets, yes I will do as I am told. But if he does not have good judgement and keeps putting us into a jam that I have to dig us out of, then I will fire him as the boss and take over. Does that make sense? NEVER see YOU AS A SLAVE or being bossed around. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
Edited by
Jeanniebean
on
Sat 02/23/13 02:55 PM
|
|
JB, you found a picture of me!
I think I am developing a short attention span. This O.P. is too long and it takes brain energy to read all of that. I did chuckle at the question about whether I would do as I am told. Strangely, the answer is yes. I tend to be an obedient slave. I don't like it though. (That is why I like being single. There is no master around to boss me.) The thing about master and slave, Boss and employee, relationships etc. is that they are both basically slaves. One has to do all the thinking. The other just follows orders. If the master knows more, thinks better and keeps us out of trouble and tells me when to duck and dodge the bullets, yes I will do as I am told. But if he does not have good judgement and keeps putting us into a jam that I have to dig us out of, then I will fire him as the boss and take over. Does that make sense? NEVER see YOU AS A SLAVE or being bossed around.
One thing I have learned in life is that someone needs to be in charge, -- for the most part. If they are the best person for that job, It is wise to follow their lead and do as you are told without asking a lot of questions. If they are not, then you have to figure it out yourself. To be in charge, you better know what you are talking about and take responsibility for the consequences of your decisions. Being the boss and being responsible is not an easy job. Being the boss just because you want to be the boss may not work. You may not be suited for the job. Following orders is easy. I only follow orders from someone who knows better than I do, or who is paying my salary.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Edited by
kc0003
on
Sat 02/23/13 03:20 PM
|
|
subject…1 what gives anyone the right to put someone else on hold while they re-explore something from their past? the word ‘egomaniacal' comes to mind here. subject…2 i would never become involved with anyone that would allow me to treat her this way. (not that i would ever be like this) this sounds like a dictatorship, not a relationship. subject…3 i am a big believer in chemistry, much more than i am, in lists. 1) I was speaking figuratively, not literally.. you know.. like keeping them in the back of your mind... 2) Well, these types of couples are common in these parts 3) Yea, I like chemistry too, but it doesn't come knocking on our doors, so that's what these forums are for, to get to know each other 1) i know freud felt that were at least three people in every bed, but i’ve always thought it best, while pursuing something, (be it new or revisited) it’s better to not have other things on one’s mind. 2) a sad commentary, but i suppose we are products of our environment’s. moving from southern california to the south, i have first-hand knowledge of the many differences our regional upbringing can produce. 3) true, however, in my experience, chemistry far outweighs any sort of check-list. I'll let you in on a little secret.. some guys find us gals that make lists to be quite attractive... what's even more fun is when they give us a check list to answer in return.. instant chemistry...
and some don’t...so what you are saying here is that there are right and wrong answers? i was under the impression that by asking “1) do you...2) do you...3) would you...?” you were asking us each for our opinions. perhaps i misunderstood or i’m being misunderstood. i’ll tell you this, if i showed up for a date and she pulled out a pad and a pen and turned it into an interview, i would leave before she finished asking the first question. i would never subject myself to this kind of personality profiling, life achievement assessment or compatibility testing whatever you wish to call it. i couldn't think of a less sincere approach to a date. seems sort of degrading to me and i would most assuredly be insulted. i just don’t see how answering someone’s check list can equate to “instant chemistry”. say you are given a list of one hundred questions, at what point do the scales tip? at what point does one ensure a second date or guarantee there will not be a second date? is it in the 60%, the 70% or does it have to be in the 90% positive response feedback bracket? and don’t we find that these responses have varying degrees of importance, depending on the individual we are dealing with...ie. the chemistry? |
|
|
|
|
