I had a friend once, she was in a verbally abusive relation with a guy. After some others and me encouraged her to break up with him and kick him out, she decides she was going to date women.

A former co-worker’s best friend’s mom did the same thing after being in a similar type of relationship.

Another friend of mind dated a girl that was in an abusive relationship before him and he was spending much of his time trying to build her up after the jerk she was with tore her down. Such jerks make you want a law pass removing them from every having the ability to have kids.

My best friend and I want to go around a beat the living tar out of jerks like these. It is hard enough trying to get a girl attention without the a-holes that treating women so bad they turn away from men. Any body else feel the same way?

no i don't

i have some friends that were(are) in similar relationships that you describe. some are co-dependents and stick around, and some have moved on. true, the cats are jerks for treating women like that, but i learned the hard way that if you get involved and beat the tar out of the cat, she won't testify against him, or she tells the cops you hit him first. you end up with the free ride downtown while he gets his wounds licked by her

i guarantee i guarantee that the ones who turn to women, after being abused by men, aren't suddenly realizing that they are lesbians looking to have sex with women

(bulldog double guarantee - patent pending)

Guys really worry about women who decide to date women?

So......

You are friends with lesbians who date guys who treat them like crap

My advice to the lesbians who date **** guys....avoid penis.

My advise to guys who date lesbians who allow crap guys to treat them like crap......give it up. Victims want to be victims. Let them get their ***** handed to them a few times.....you can't learn their lesson for them.

but didn't you say gays were born that way???
looks like i was right all along....

Who says they weren't born that way and trying out guys? Sounds like they were bi.

Women do not have to stay Victims of abuse. They can take the steps to move out of that situation. I was abused for a short period of time and I still Love Men and date Men since then. It is a mind set when she continues to make herself a Victim.

When I look around, I see men being bullied by verbally abusive women everywhere. They walk around, as if in a daze, doing whatever they're told. Is this the fault of the women? Of course not. It's the men that have no backbone in these relationships. And I'd never butt my nose into their relationships. Hey, maybe it's what gets them off. It takes all kinds to make a world.

thats not what i read...

When someone is being abused, it's their fault, rather than the fault of the one doing the abusing?

If they're dating both men and women, perhaps they're bi. Or, perhaps they're lesbian and finally came out? Who knows.

You're right to be angry at men who abuse women in any way, and I myself share that anger. But, you can't blame them for someone else's decision once their relationship has ended. If someone has decided to believe all men are the same as the abuser(s), and dates women as a result, they would be the one at fault for their own flawed logic, not anyone else. As with anything, every adult is responsible for their own decisions, even following any kind of physical or mental trauma. And if she decided to date women simply because she's attracted to them - That's her preference, and there is nothing to place blame for to begin with, so leave it be.

So, once again... to summarize... by all means, hate the act of a woman being abused, as I do. But do not carry that blame over to excuse the decisions that these women are responsible for making themselves.

My friend called herself polysexual but my co-workers friends mother use to only date men but she kept choosing the jerks. She decided to date women to get away from abusive men.

So, she's bi, then?

I am aware of that it is there choice, but I hate the fact that they think by changing which gender they date, they escape the abuse. If you still can go after the wrong type of people regardless which gender you choose to date.

What should they do? Stop dating all together?

I would only beat the tar out of someone who abused my daughter, she is still my responsibility in the long run. Fortunately for me, she is married to an outstanding young man who treats her with love.

Love. Love. Love.

People end up in abusive relationships because of all kinds of reasons.

Some people are abusive for all kinds of reasons.

There are many gay/lesbian relationships that are just as abusive as any hetero relationship.

There's nowt you can do about any of it.

There's a lot of A holes out there.

There's nowt you can do about that either.

Rub one out and no doubt another will spring up in his place.

It's crappy world out there.

Sometimes you just have to accept it and learn to live with it.

A couple things I wanna say about this, one, I agree with some of the people posting that it is a choice women/men make by STAYING in an abusive relationship. I don't think it is a choice by being in one.. sometimes they sneak up on ya.. Its anyone's choice to remove themselves from a situation where they are being treated in a way they do not like, its also their choice to stay.

Two, I know the feeling of wanting to go beat someone for what they have done to people I care about but I think in the reality of it violence isn't the way to respond to violence.

I also agree that it doesn't matter which gender you choose, anyone can turn out to be abusive. It takes time to know someone and see how they react to different scenarios. As far as going from one gender to the next to get away from the one they were just with..... that seems like convenience to me..

You are right that abuse can come from either gender; especially verbal abuse. If it was physical abuse; then it might make more sense for these women to date other woman as physically; they are more of an even match strength wise which may present less of a threat to them. Me; I will always wonder if a guy would lose it and hit me. I am a strong woman and have had to fight physically with a man in order to keep myself alive. I won my battle but most women can't do that. I am gun shy now and have no desire to date anymore but I certainly don't want to date women. I am wondering if maybe these girls are just experimenting or just wondering what it would be like to date a woman and the abuse might just be a reason for them to try.