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| Topic: What kind of response are you really looking for? | |
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Many guys (and I'm sure women) start off by asking why we're single. Do you ask that question when talking to someone new? If so, what kind of response are you really looking for?
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Dang!! I was intrigued by your post because I get that almost each time I chat with someone but it appears I'm here to early :)
I assume I get asked because women assume there is something wrong with me or I got dumped because I did something?? Of course , they are single also ... Good question. I'll bro curious to see what others reply... |
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Myself I never ask that question due to I seem to be single as well and don't have a problem with it.. Sure it would be nice to have someone to share things with...
Main thing I'm looking for is they live in my area then just see where it goes from there... The main thing is personality a sense of humor is a must.... 
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I am here for the groupies.
Next question. |
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I avoid asking that question, but I have been asked. My general response: I choose to be single because I am not willing to settle.
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I do not ask that question. I do not like that question asked either. To me... it is a waste of time, nobody is going to say things like "because I cheated on my wife/husband" or whatever the reason may be.
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I'm confused. What's the problems with this question? Doesn't it just mean that the person asking is looking for unattached people? Also, pyxxiea13, haven't you ever heard of people who are single due to divorce, widowhood, or never being married? Did I miss something?
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I'm confused. What's the problems with this question? Doesn't it just mean that the person asking is looking for unattached people? Also, pyxxiea13, haven't you ever heard of people who are single due to divorce, widowhood, or never being married? Did I miss something? Nope, you missed nothing. I gave my opinion of why I dislike it. Feel free to have your own as well. |
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I don't ask that question and I don't like it being asked of me...the answer wouldn't really serve any purpose IMO.
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Sometimes I ask because Im hoping the answer is basic. Mate cheated, Grew apart etc.Im trying to gauge if its a normal life expierence or they are angry and secretly like that woman in the movie Misey
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I'm confused. What's the problems with this question? Doesn't it just mean that the person asking is looking for unattached people? Also, pyxxiea13, haven't you ever heard of people who are single due to divorce, widowhood, or never being married? Did I miss something? From what I've seen, most guys who ask it are looking to see if we've done something bad to become single, or if something is wrong with us. I also dislike it, because it's one of the typical, boring questions that 85% of the guys ask. |
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I dont ask it. Ive only been asked that once, but it didnt bother me. I dont ask, myself, because people will probly answer what they want you to think about them anyhoo. I'd rather just get to know someone and decide for myself if they are someone I could grow old with. The truth comes out eventually. You've only been asked that once? Really? Nearly every guy who emails me (not from the forums) asks that question. Not all, but most of them. |
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Many guys (and I'm sure women) start off by asking why we're single. Do you ask that question when talking to someone new? If so, what kind of response are you really looking for? |
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Many guys (and I'm sure women) start off by asking why we're single. Do you ask that question when talking to someone new? If so, what kind of response are you really looking for? 
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I dont ask it. Ive only been asked that once, but it didnt bother me. I dont ask, myself, because people will probly answer what they want you to think about them anyhoo. I'd rather just get to know someone and decide for myself if they are someone I could grow old with. The truth comes out eventually. You've only been asked that once? Really? Nearly every guy who emails me (not from the forums) asks that question. Not all, but most of them. I know  Its a kinda famous question. Maybe it has to do with my age, or the 'divorced' status. Idunno. I think the one who did ask, was being rhetorical, like in a complimentary way rather than fact finding. Most of the guys who ask are definitely looking for some kind of answer. |
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I have been asked this before, and I am always careful with how I respond. I say careful cause while some people say they can handle anything, when you answer this question honestly it can drive some people away. People say that they don't expect to find perfection, and yet you name a flaw or talk about how you got hurt (in the past) and they wanna run from you like you have the plague. Heck, at this stage in my life, I know enough to know that we all have been hurt in a relationship. And just because you are single doesn't mean you have something wrong with you. I always get asked why I don't have kids. Some women even jump right to asking if I even like kids. Lol. It's like they assume I have this hatred for kids. People who are in the thirties and have yet to be married are asked why they haven't been married. It's like if you didn't take the plunge in your twenties then something must be wrong with you. Sigh.
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I have been asked this before, and I am always careful with how I respond. I say careful cause while some people say they can handle anything, when you answer this question honestly it can drive some people away. People say that they don't expect to find perfection, and yet you name a flaw or talk about how you got hurt (in the past) and they wanna run from you like you have the plague. Heck, at this stage in my life, I know enough to know that we all have been hurt in a relationship. And just because you are single doesn't mean you have something wrong with you. I always get asked why I don't have kids. Some women even jump right to asking if I even like kids. Lol. It's like they assume I have this hatred for kids. People who are in the thirties and have yet to be married are asked why they haven't been married. It's like if you didn't take the plunge in your twenties then something must be wrong with you. Sigh. I've been asked why I haven't been married and why I don't have children many times. Some have admitted they think something is wrong with those who are my age who haven't done so. Others say they are only looking for divorced people with kids, because they understand that way of life better. People use all kinds of excuses to drive people away from the beginning. |
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I have been asked this before, and I am always careful with how I respond. I say careful cause while some people say they can handle anything, when you answer this question honestly it can drive some people away. People say that they don't expect to find perfection, and yet you name a flaw or talk about how you got hurt (in the past) and they wanna run from you like you have the plague. Heck, at this stage in my life, I know enough to know that we all have been hurt in a relationship. And just because you are single doesn't mean you have something wrong with you. I always get asked why I don't have kids. Some women even jump right to asking if I even like kids. Lol. It's like they assume I have this hatred for kids. People who are in the thirties and have yet to be married are asked why they haven't been married. It's like if you didn't take the plunge in your twenties then something must be wrong with you. Sigh. I've been asked why I haven't been married and why I don't have children many times. Some have admitted they think something is wrong with those who are my age who haven't done so. Others say they are only looking for divorced people with kids, because they understand that way of life better. People use all kinds of excuses to drive people away from the beginning. I agree with TxsGal, I never ask that question upfront, I figure if we hit it off and meet, after a few dates or so, then this question may come up, at least that's my experience. If asked about it, I have no problem answering with the truth. |
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I have been asked this before, and I am always careful with how I respond. I say careful cause while some people say they can handle anything, when you answer this question honestly it can drive some people away. People say that they don't expect to find perfection, and yet you name a flaw or talk about how you got hurt (in the past) and they wanna run from you like you have the plague. Heck, at this stage in my life, I know enough to know that we all have been hurt in a relationship. And just because you are single doesn't mean you have something wrong with you. I always get asked why I don't have kids. Some women even jump right to asking if I even like kids. Lol. It's like they assume I have this hatred for kids. People who are in the thirties and have yet to be married are asked why they haven't been married. It's like if you didn't take the plunge in your twenties then something must be wrong with you. Sigh. I've been asked why I haven't been married and why I don't have children many times. Some have admitted they think something is wrong with those who are my age who haven't done so. Others say they are only looking for divorced people with kids, because they understand that way of life better. People use all kinds of excuses to drive people away from the beginning. Very true. I understand that we all have things we look for in a person as we try to find that right "fit" for us. But at the same time, people always assume things way too easily and thus they decide to not pursue someone because of it. |
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Many guys (and I'm sure women) start off by asking why we're single. Do you ask that question when talking to someone new? If so, what kind of response are you really looking for? I always encounter the question...Why are you not single? 
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