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| Topic: Marriage | |
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Edited by
DTHRomeo
on
Tue 01/24/12 04:22 PM
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All good. I could tell there was tension there anyway Thank you  Tension? naw! ... this is like a hobby for us ;) |
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I bet Torgo told you that! That lying bastard!!! don't drag innocent torgo into this. it's all you. Innocent??? ya ... right! I refuse to believe that! |
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I found it suffocating and stifling, extremely uncomfortable and unnecessary. I wouldn't do it again.... Is it any different from being in a long-term relationship? Well, yeah, it's messier and a lot harder to get out of.... Why was it so suffocating, stifling and uncomfortable? Why more so than a long term relationship? Just because it was harder to get out of? I'm guessing cause of the legality part of it. Its never a pretty picture when you get divorced. I was thrust in the middle of parents divorce, ever since then I despised courts and lawyers. It destroyed my mom in the process. A friend of mine was living common law for 15 years and then decided to get married. Suddenly; everything changed. Her hubby treated her different and took her for granted. He suddenly felt like he had a ball and chain attached to him and needed to get away from her. They both felt like they lost a piece of themselves from what she told me. I guess marriage does change people. |
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Innocent??? ya ... right! I refuse to believe that! well minus the creepy star wars porn he's into, he's completely clean. |
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Marriage isn't for everyone. For some, it is a covenant. A bond. It is a symbol of choosing to be in love with one person. That is the "intent" of a marriage.
The problem I see with marriage is that people forget why they chose to marry. When times get tough (finance problems, time issues, communication, etc) people want to run away. They chose to just ignore things and hope that (magically) stuff gets fixed. Marriage, to me, is only as bad as you make it. It can be a beautiful thing. It can also be one of the worst experiences of your life. I don't think people should be afraid of it. I think that if it is important to you to want to do, then believe in it. If you have no desire for it, then don't allow anyone to change your mind. |
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sure. i got nothin better to do. You've made me so happy.  See you when... if you get back. |
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I,Unfortunately have been married (and no longer married) Twice.
13 yrs the first and 9 the second. NOT all it's cracked up to be. For me anyway!!! My two closest friends in this world, have been together for 19 yrs and are as happy as they can be. They both say they will NEVER screw it up with..... Marriage!!!!! |
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Innocent??? ya ... right! I refuse to believe that! well minus the creepy star wars porn he's into, he's completely clean. I remember that! LOL Still don't believe he's innocent! |
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I found it suffocating and stifling, extremely uncomfortable and unnecessary. I wouldn't do it again.... Is it any different from being in a long-term relationship? Well, yeah, it's messier and a lot harder to get out of.... Why was it so suffocating, stifling and uncomfortable? Why more so than a long term relationship? Just because it was harder to get out of? I'm guessing cause of the legality part of it. Its never a pretty picture when you get divorced. I was thrust in the middle of parents divorce, ever since then I despised courts and lawyers. It destroyed my mom in the process. A friend of mine was living common law for 15 years and then decided to get married. Suddenly; everything changed. Her hubby treated her different and took her for granted. He suddenly felt like he had a ball and chain attached to him and needed to get away from her. They both felt like they lost a piece of themselves from what she told me. I guess marriage does change people. See, this is what I'm not getting. I guess change could mean anything. To me people don't change they only lie. They're still the same person they grew up being, except moreso; maybe craftier, more confident. I don't know. I guess this is the main problem with the "changing" part of it. People just lie and get so confortable in the lie. |
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Edited by
bhernandez
on
Tue 01/24/12 04:37 PM
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You've made me so happy. See you when... if you get back. i got nunchucks. i'll be expecting some peppermint tea when i get home, dear. |
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See, this is what I'm not getting. I guess change could mean anything. To me people don't change they only lie. They're still the same person they grew up being, except moreso; maybe craftier, more confident. I don't know. I guess this is the main problem with the "changing" part of it. People just lie and get so confortable in the lie. In my case, change is what stopped the marriage. I was not ready yet, that is true, but I still would have been willing had she not changed how she acted and started becoming a whole other person than when we first met. i got nunchucks. i'll be expecting some peppermint tea when i get home, dear. Yes dear. I'll even serve cookies if you make it. Watch out for Gollum. He's needy and lonely. You can borrow my Katana if you need to. Nunchucks have a way of backfiring. I learned that the hard way. |
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Yes dear. I'll even serve cookies if you make it. Watch out for Gollum. He's needy and lonely. You can borrow my Katana if you need to. Nunchucks have a way of backfiring. I learned that the hard way. peanutbutter cookies. thanks. |
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See, this is what I'm not getting. I guess change could mean anything. To me people don't change they only lie. They're still the same person they grew up being, except moreso; maybe craftier, more confident. I don't know. I guess this is the main problem with the "changing" part of it. People just lie and get so confortable in the lie. There's good change and there's bad change. I assumed -- based on nothing more than stupidity, naivete, and wishful thinking -- that marriage would stabilize my life and allow me to build a permanent foundation with someone I cared for. The reality was very different -- a chaotic, destructive, unnecessary mess. I felt like a character in a soap opera for a couple of years. And not even a good soap opera. |
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I've spent 3/4 of my life in a married state
 , and usually happily . I was only 20 when I left my first husband after only about 2 1/2 years of marriage. Marriage is a commitment and there is security there, but I think when you are younger it is easier to leave a marriage as you know you have your life ahead to start over. When you are older, it is more difficult. Should I ever re-marry one day, given my AGE and past, I believe it would be for the rest of my life (the mathematical odds are there ). I would have to be very, very careful. But all in all I think marriage is a very good thing with the right compatability.
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My parents were married 33 years when my father passed away, and they were still in love and respectful of each other. They discussed problems but I never saw a fight.
My marriage was great until we had children, he was too self-centered and couldn't handle responsibility. I tried everything, but in the end it was better for him to go. Marriage requires the love and committment from both people. It is what you put into it. |
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My parents were married 33 years when my father passed away, and they were still in love and respectful of each other. They discussed problems but I never saw a fight. My marriage was great until we had children, he was too self-centered and couldn't handle responsibility. I tried everything, but in the end it was better for him to go. Marriage requires the love and committment from both people. It is what you put into it.  well said! Divorce is very atypical in my family and I have mentioned on here before that I have grown up witness to many many long term (25+ yrs) marriages in my extended family! They solve problems together and don't allow other family members to interfere - from my observations anyway these are some things I've noticed. They also seem happy. I am ambivalent about marriage personally |
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My parents were married 33 years when my father passed away, and they were still in love and respectful of each other. They discussed problems but I never saw a fight. My marriage was great until we had children, he was too self-centered and couldn't handle responsibility. I tried everything, but in the end it was better for him to go. Marriage requires the love and committment from both people. It is what you put into it. My parents stayed married until my dad died. I think it was about 40 years. Now that being said; it was a horrible marriage. My dad treated my mom like dirt. Beat the heck out of us kids and her. She stayed because she had no skills to back to work and support us kids. She was miserable and so were we. Watching this has turned me off to marriages and for the longest time I didn't want any man in my life. Then when I did meet guys; they were just like my dad so I stopped dating. Contrary to what people think, not all people stayed in marriages because they were committed to it. Women like my mom felt they had no choice. This decision has scarred me and my siblings for life. |
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My parents were married 33 years when my father passed away, and they were still in love and respectful of each other. They discussed problems but I never saw a fight. My marriage was great until we had children, he was too self-centered and couldn't handle responsibility. I tried everything, but in the end it was better for him to go. Marriage requires the love and committment from both people. It is what you put into it. My parents stayed married until my dad died. I think it was about 40 years. Now that being said; it was a horrible marriage. My dad treated my mom like dirt. Beat the heck out of us kids and her. She stayed because she had no skills to back to work and support us kids. She was miserable and so were we. Watching this has turned me off to marriages and for the longest time I didn't want any man in my life. Then when I did meet guys; they were just like my dad so I stopped dating. Contrary to what people think, not all people stayed in marriages because they were committed to it. Women like my mom felt they had no choice. This decision has scarred me and my siblings for life. This is very sad. I bet it happens a lot more often than we think. Hopefully though ,with more education and awareness it doesn't happen as much in todays Society as it did in the past. I am sure it does go on but I am hoping not as much. |
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My parents have been married 40 years this year and are still very happy. So yes, it can be a good thing. I have several friends who have parents who are still married as well.
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My parents have been married for nearly 50 years but marriage as a concept, has never really appealed to me.
Like my parents, I would only want to be married once and stay with that person for the rest of my life but no one can guarantee me that will happen - I know no one gets married with the view of getting divorced but I wouldn't want to be divorced...I understand what I mean..nobody else has to  Also, I honestly believe that I can be emotionally and spiritually bonded to my partner without going through a 'ceremony'. I like the idea that my guy's with me because he wants to be and not because there's this piece of paper telling him that he has to be.. |
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