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| Topic: Marriage | |
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I think the interesting thing about my friends that are married or are even in a long term relationship is how they seem to lose the spark they had. They seem more serious and though they may love the other person; they don't seem to love life as much. I wonder why that is? Now I am not saying you can be a wild child in a relationship or marriage but why does it seem that the person has had the life sucked out of them?
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I've know lots of couples who were LTR before marriage. They always said there is a feeling of commitment, confidence and intimacy that LTR on it's own never developed. Did some end in divorce? Yes. Is it different? I think so.
Unfortunately, marriage is now looked down on and divorce is like car insurance: no fault. With over 5,000 years of recorded history are we so arrogant as to say all of our ancestors were wrong or deceived? |
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I don't think marriage is necessarily looked down on by many. I think some people are very bitter about their failed marriages that they make a huge deal about how marriage is bad. But, that's certainly not the way everyone thinks.
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It's not for everyone.
We've all heard the horror stories along with the fairy tales. Totally depends on the two individuals involved and what they want. |
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I never looked down upon it. I find it just unfortunate people in my generation age group are getting married so young just to impress their friends, boast about it on facebook, or treat it like its some big promotional upgrade. With integrity intact. Basically parade it around like its OMG LIKE the best thing in the world.
I understand the happiness that comes with being with someone you love, celebrating that love for hopefully a long time, but people now, you're looked down if you're not married for the sake of the word alone. Saying your engaged or being married for a while now, I get irritated by the circus of it. I feel our age groups basically kick and scream like whiny brats if they don't get proposed to. They think its some sort of defining moment that EVERY soul on Earth should know. My thoughts about young/married people today...they lack the maturity that the past generations held onto so well. And I find it sad the older generation is so few is far between in sight. They had it right. Tradition lasts. |
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It's not for everyone. We've all heard the horror stories along with the fairy tales. Totally depends on the two individuals involved and what they want. Some of this is because we are a selfish and indisciplined generation of people. If we don't get what we want, when we want it divorce is so easily obtained. Our consumer marketplace mentality now defines marriage. |
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Edited by
indianadave4
on
Wed 01/25/12 04:39 PM
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My thoughts about young/married people today...they lack the maturity that the past generations held onto so well. And I find it sad the older generation is so few is far between in sight. They had it right. Tradition lasts. Mariah, lots of women were trapped in marriages where they were beaten and even murdered by husbands. There were no 'services' for them to escape to. I think there are even people on this site that can attest to that. Typical radical feminist philosophy. The "men beat their wives" is not a universal experience born out by a serious study of history. Radical feminists since the 70's have taken the minority of cases and tried to state this was the norm. Not so. Neither is the "women were forced into the kitchen by men". A man and woman could choose one of two places to work. In the house or plant and reap the farm. Women CHOSE to stay in the house. May I suggest an unbiased study of history. |
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My thoughts about young/married people today...they lack the maturity that the past generations held onto so well. And I find it sad the older generation is so few is far between in sight. They had it right. Tradition lasts. Mariah, lots of women were trapped in marriages where they were beaten and even murdered by husbands. There were no 'services' for them to escape to. I think there are even people on this site that can attest to that. They beat them still. Violence is a cycle that spreads and doesn't change in life, unless the person stops it. While I believe that to be true, times still haven't changed. But I know then it was near impossible to get out of. My Auntie Betty who passed away a few years ago told me a story of her best friend being abused by her husband whom she was in a arranged marriage with. Those situations are much more trying and I agree more challenging to leave. That's not to say because its happened then, it won't happen now. There's always that risk. I know what that is like too. |
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What an interesting pile of assumption. We were talking about marriage, and the availability of divorce, not feminism. I can't touch feminism, this could go off topic by a margin. 
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I think the interesting thing about my friends that are married or are even in a long term relationship is how they seem to lose the spark they had. They seem more serious and though they may love the other person; they don't seem to love life as much. I wonder why that is? Now I am not saying you can be a wild child in a relationship or marriage but why does it seem that the person has had the life sucked out of them? I really don't know. I felt like part of me died when my husband did. |
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Edited by
MariahsFantasy
on
Wed 01/25/12 04:53 PM
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My thoughts about young/married people today...they lack the maturity that the past generations held onto so well. And I find it sad the older generation is so few is far between in sight. They had it right. Tradition lasts. Mariah, lots of women were trapped in marriages where they were beaten and even murdered by husbands. There were no 'services' for them to escape to. I think there are even people on this site that can attest to that. They beat them still. Violence is a cycle that spreads and doesn't change in life, unless the person stops it. While I believe that to be true, times still haven't changed. But I know then it was near impossible to get out of. My Auntie Betty who passed away a few years ago told me a story of her best friend being abused by her husband whom she was in a arranged marriage with. Those situations are much more trying and I agree more challenging to leave. That's not to say because its happened then, it won't happen now. There's always that risk. I know what that is like too. At least there are protective laws and services available. IF they seek them. Do you know how hard it is to seek help in dire need? You'd have to be in their minds mentality to truly understand why its not always simple to just tell someone. |
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Edited by
MariahsFantasy
on
Wed 01/25/12 04:52 PM
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My thoughts about young/married people today...they lack the maturity that the past generations held onto so well. And I find it sad the older generation is so few is far between in sight. They had it right. Tradition lasts. Mariah, lots of women were trapped in marriages where they were beaten and even murdered by husbands. There were no 'services' for them to escape to. I think there are even people on this site that can attest to that. They beat them still. Violence is a cycle that spreads and doesn't change in life, unless the person stops it. While I believe that to be true, times still haven't changed. But I know then it was near impossible to get out of. My Auntie Betty who passed away a few years ago told me a story of her best friend being abused by her husband whom she was in a arranged marriage with. Those situations are much more trying and I agree more challenging to leave. That's not to say because its happened then, it won't happen now. There's always that risk. I know what that is like too. At least there are protective laws and services available. Cool, I dont meet many folks who say 'auntie' like my family does. I always called her that. She's part of the British (dad's) side of my family. |
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I think the interesting thing about my friends that are married or are even in a long term relationship is how they seem to lose the spark they had. They seem more serious and though they may love the other person; they don't seem to love life as much. I wonder why that is? Now I am not saying you can be a wild child in a relationship or marriage but why does it seem that the person has had the life sucked out of them? I really don't know. I felt like part of me died when my husband did. I am sorry to hear this too. I know what its like to lose a family member also. *hugs* |
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Do you honestly think its for everyone? Couldn't people just be together for as long as they want? I see friends on facebook and just people I knew in high school, already married for quite a while. I'm 27!! I would be afraid of that stuff right now. For the people who were married, what's it really like? Is it really any different from just being in a long term relationship? Don't worry, hun. We'll just get a common law marriage.   I don't believe in government-run marriage. This way it'll be easier if things don't work out.
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My thoughts about young/married people today...they lack the maturity that the past generations held onto so well. And I find it sad the older generation is so few is far between in sight. They had it right. Tradition lasts. Mariah, lots of women were trapped in marriages where they were beaten and even murdered by husbands. There were no 'services' for them to escape to. I think there are even people on this site that can attest to that. They beat them still. Violence is a cycle that spreads and doesn't change in life, unless the person stops it. While I believe that to be true, times still haven't changed. But I know then it was near impossible to get out of. My Auntie Betty who passed away a few years ago told me a story of her best friend being abused by her husband whom she was in a arranged marriage with. Those situations are much more trying and I agree more challenging to leave. That's not to say because its happened then, it won't happen now. There's always that risk. I know what that is like too. At least there are protective laws and services available. IF they seek them. Do you know how hard it is to seek help in dire need? You'd have to be in their minds mentality to truly understand why its not always simple to just tell someone. for some it seems as though the abuser has "brainwashed" them (if you will) with thoughts that they will never find anyone else to care for them, or threats of harm to them or their loved ones. i find it difficult to step into an argument between a man and a woman because most times, if i end up overpowering the man, she tells the cops it was her fault and i get charged with assault. then she gets into the car with him to go home for a beating while i have to ride in a squad car |
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Thank you Mariah and KLC,but my reason for saying is that I never felt marriage "sucked the life out of me" more like losing it did.
Many people die within five years of losing their spouses. So while its true marriage is not for everyone and not all marriages are good, not all are bad either. If you are with the right person it is a wonderful thing, married or not. |
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If you are with the right person it is a wonderful thing, married or not.  Well said
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I am currently in my second marriage and preparing for a divorce. Honestly, if the two people have too little in common, it won't work.
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Do you honestly think its for everyone? Couldn't people just be together for as long as they want? I see friends on facebook and just people I knew in high school, already married for quite a while. I'm 27!! I would be afraid of that stuff right now. For the people who were married, what's it really like? Is it really any different from just being in a long term relationship? Don't worry, hun. We'll just get a common law marriage. I don't believe in government-run marriage. This way it'll be easier if things don't work out. LOL 
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Thank you Mariah and KLC,but my reason for saying is that I never felt marriage "sucked the life out of me" more like losing it did. Many people die within five years of losing their spouses. So while its true marriage is not for everyone and not all marriages are good, not all are bad either. If you are with the right person it is a wonderful thing, married or not. *hugs* I agree with this. Knowing they are good at heart makes things so much easier being with them. |
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