No. I think he shut up now.

Thanks for reminding that I am an introvert.

Yeah but this handy dandy forum can bite me in the tush lol bye revealing to much... lol... It was different opening up to others and see what people have to say... Have already dealt with my own issues but was actually hoping to have others open up about their own issues as well.... thanks for letting me feel like one of you guys on here lol... So I added my happy pic to show that I am a nut now lol.... jk

Chit happens. Good friends are hard to find.........

Paranoia will destroy ya.

There’s obviously more going on than you are aware of (or willing to admit). It’s very unusual for someone that you’ve been in a four year relationship with to sudden change the status of your relationship with little or no consultation.

If that happened to me, I would be seriously questioning whether he felt anything for me at all.

I would find it extremely hard to carry on any sort of friendship with someone that could do that to me. I would have told him where he could stick his friendship and moved on pronto!

Good advice. I am amazed sometimes how the truth can set one free. Honesty for me was like that Star Trek opening but instead of space it was honesty that was the next frontier. I mean if I could only be honest with myself was like some quantum leap of faith.

Yea that would be a possibility. Have a similar situation now and we are friends who spend time as friends and date whenever. Moving on can be done without cutting them out of your life completely only if you are not jealous of them. If you are jealous though it can't be done.

if u are OK with being friends I see no issue with it, but I guess I 'd be curious about why all of a sudden no sex? and your past intimacy entitles u to an answer, im my opinion.

he is getting it somewhere....

anyway, if u are clinging to this friendship hoping he will change his mind - really not satisfied with friends only -then u do need to end it by simply telling him u need a romantic partner, and your friendship with him might send the wrong message to potential suitors

Guys need no make their intentions clear from the get go

Totally agree.

I would always prefer that my partner hurt me with the truth than devastate me with a lie or a series of lies.

hello and welcome to the site Stmfn1

i think it depends on what a person is looking for. personaly myself i want a friendship plus relationship and also after you have sex i dont think its possible to only be friends with no intamacy, but thats just me. i would most likely move on.

For me, it would be easier to remain friends with some ex's than with others...It would also depend on how the relationship ended.

One of my ex's, is my best friend and has been for the last 15 or so years and having sex with him now would feel like incest.

Whereas there are two ex's that I could never be friends with because an evening in with a dvd and a bottle would always lead to other things..: pitchfork:

BTW..welcome to the site Styk

My ex tried to teach me this. I wasn't ready to learn it, yet. I was too busy trying to save face or win the argument. The song by the O'Jays, Backstabbers got the point across. A friend will stab you in the front. Et Tu Brute really says the same thing if you like Shakespeare. AA conditioning lets me know that you can't save your butt and your face at the same time. One has to make a decision and treatment taught me that not making a decision is a decision, too. I know that sometimes I have take one for the team. But sometimes I can get so involved in trying to make self understood that I can miss out on what the other is trying to tell me. Dichotomy is a new word for me. But damned if you and damned if you don't I have been acquainted with for sometime now.

That's a very interesting question... both topical and philosophical.
So to me, there are multiple answers... and so the peeps that have answered only one aspect or another seem rather lop-sided to me. Black&white thinking kinda does that...

Can you not do both? Move on with other relationships as well as maintain friendship (or at least a cordialness). Tis difficult, I know... and we all have our ways in doing this... so just do whatever you can.
But once someone crosses your path... you can never "undo" them. They are part of your life story.
But death, being no respecter of grammer, is the only period in that.
So while you're on this planet do whatever you can to maintain peace... burn as few bridges as you have to. Still, always move forward and create a better, more complete you... even in those times when it requires you to travel alone.

Lessons learn't the hard way are the ones that are remembered...at least for some people

I am going to say it takes a stronger person then me I just threw away a ten year friend ship cuss we dated and I couldn’t move on nor can i talk to her

Stay here, at least you won't complain of the same thing after chatting someone in four years

Everyone of you has good advise and we even touched on those subjects this last weekend and am ready to cut the ties all together but still have an interest in him as a person just wished he did for me and said that it took him years to realize that he doesn't except as friends..... Still haven't found anyone but that isn't my main priority in life right now but passing my NCLEX is number one goal then hopefully someone will find me that actually wants what I seek and I want what he seeks but I don't have a lot of trust in the oposite sex for now... guess just not ready to move forward even after a year now.... Have a fantastic day everyone... Sry about taking pic down but it easier to remain hidden from others for now...