100% FREE ONLINE DATING
sponsored links
Previous
| Topic: A Message to Women From a Man: You Are Not "Crazy" | |
|---|---|
|
|
|
being booty hurt. true - sadly enough - it's worst kind to be so close and driven so far apart 
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
I'm still waiting for mo to tell us when it's appropriate to be emotional and when it's overreacting. There are degrees of emotion. Getting a little upset when someone is a half hour late and doesn't call is one thing. Going berserk, throwing a fit, yelling and screaming over the same reason may be overreacting. Of course maybe it's not the first time he or she has done that. Maybe he or she is an inconsiderate bore who cares little about other peoples plans and this was just the last straw so to speak. Then again maybe he or she just got caught in traffic and his cell battery died. That still doesn't really answer my question, though. You gave one example. Name a situation and there is a yin and a yang for each one. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Oh, definitely. Joking around between friends or with someone I'm dating is fine. But, what was described above is much past joking around.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
I'm still waiting for mo to tell us when it's appropriate to be emotional and when it's overreacting. There are degrees of emotion. Getting a little upset when someone is a half hour late and doesn't call is one thing. Going berserk, throwing a fit, yelling and screaming over the same reason may be overreacting. Of course maybe it's not the first time he or she has done that. Maybe he or she is an inconsiderate bore who cares little about other peoples plans and this was just the last straw so to speak. Then again maybe he or she just got caught in traffic and his cell battery died. That still doesn't really answer my question, though. You gave one example. Name a situation and there is a yin and a yang for each one. Right. Which means there will be different situations for each. So, one person saying there are only certain situations where it's appropriate to be emotional isn't going to work. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
I'm still waiting for mo to tell us when it's appropriate to be emotional and when it's overreacting. There are degrees of emotion. Getting a little upset when someone is a half hour late and doesn't call is one thing. Going berserk, throwing a fit, yelling and screaming over the same reason may be overreacting. Of course maybe it's not the first time he or she has done that. Maybe he or she is an inconsiderate bore who cares little about other peoples plans and this was just the last straw so to speak. Then again maybe he or she just got caught in traffic and his cell battery died. That still doesn't really answer my question, though. You gave one example. Name a situation and there is a yin and a yang for each one. Right. Which means there will be different situations for each. So, one person saying there are only certain situations where it's appropriate to be emotional isn't going to work. Emotions cloud judgment. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
well really - I was thinking in terms of emotional reactions within the boundaries where it is possible to communicate
the latter reaction you describe motown is beyond that scope because communication is no longer possible and yanno unfortunately some of us are damaged goods and with the right triggers - that kind of extreme reaction can be contextually normal a vietnam vet hearing a copter close in or a slow trolling motorboat for example... well - I think this is a valuable discussion but I am tired - nite all |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
well really - I was thinking in terms of emotional reactions within the boundaries where it is possible to communicate the latter reaction you describe motown is beyond that scope because communication is no longer possible and yanno unfortunately some of us are damaged goods and with the right triggers - that kind of extreme reaction can be contextually normal a vietnam vet hearing a copter close in or a slow trolling motorboat for example... well - I think this is a valuable discussion but I am tired - nite all As a vet I can empathize with someone suffering from PTSD. But going gonzo over a certain stimulus is not "normal" behavior. That's why the last word in PTSD is disorder. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
I'm still waiting for mo to tell us when it's appropriate to be emotional and when it's overreacting. There are degrees of emotion. Getting a little upset when someone is a half hour late and doesn't call is one thing. Going berserk, throwing a fit, yelling and screaming over the same reason may be overreacting. Of course maybe it's not the first time he or she has done that. Maybe he or she is an inconsiderate bore who cares little about other peoples plans and this was just the last straw so to speak. Then again maybe he or she just got caught in traffic and his cell battery died. That still doesn't really answer my question, though. You gave one example. Name a situation and there is a yin and a yang for each one. Right. Which means there will be different situations for each. So, one person saying there are only certain situations where it's appropriate to be emotional isn't going to work. Emotions cloud judgment. Yes, they absolutely can. Emotions effect everyone differently. They can make one person overreact outwardly and others withdraw and not say anything. But, not being emotional at all wouldn't be a good thing either. |
|
|
|
|
|
Edited by
actionlynx
on
Sat 11/26/11 05:40 AM
|
|
So far, I am really enjoying reading this thread. There is some interesting discussion going on.
In regards to Motowndowntown, someone isn't always going to be able to recognize when someone else actually does have a disorder. In fact, the other person might not even know s/he has one. So if the behavior is "abnormal", even if s/he really is overreacting, stating such isn't necessarily going to help the situation. In fact, the other person is more likely to "tune out" instead. In that case, because of the disorder, that person is likely to experience unintentional gaslighting effects. This just undermines the entire communication process with that person. Therefore, if it is someone whom you (in the general, not the specific) genuinely care for, it is worthwhile to take this into consideration and adopt a new tact when dealing with that person. Sometimes stating the truth too strongly will be mistaken for a personal attack just because of the force behind the words. Most everyone is going to react defensively when they feel attacked - that's just normal. So understanding why s/he feels cornered is a big step toward resolving the problem. On the other hand, if it is a stranger or someone you barely know, then you have no obligation to do this. It becomes merely a choice based on personal philosophy. In a relationship, be it family or personal, there is an obligation due to personal involvement and emotions - or to state it better, because you have already invested time, energy, and emotion in the relationship whether just to keep the peace or for your own personal rewards/expectations. It might even be better described in terms of a risk/reward scenario, where a stranger might be high-risk/low-reward while a mate or family member might be a high-risk/high-reward. Adopting a new and proper tact may lower that risk, thereby making the reward much more attractive and much less scary. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
So far, I am really enjoying reading this thread. There is some interesting discussion going on. In regards to Motowndowntown, someone isn't always going to be able to recognize when someone else actually does have a disorder. In fact, the other person might not even know s/he has one. So if the behavior is "abnormal", even if s/he really is overreacting, stating such isn't necessarily going to help the situation. In fact, the other person is more likely to "tune out" instead. In that case, because of the disorder, that person is likely to experience unintentional gaslighting effects. This just undermines the entire communication process with that person. Therefore, if it is someone whom you (in the general, not the specific) genuinely care for, it is worthwhile to take this into consideration and adopt a new tact when dealing with that person. Sometimes stating the truth too strongly will be mistaken for a personal attack just because of the force behind the words. Most everyone is going to react defensively when they feel attacked - that's just normal. So understanding why s/he feels cornered is a big step toward resolving the problem. On the other hand, if it is a stranger or someone you barely know, then you have no obligation to do this. It becomes merely a choice based on personal philosophy. In a relationship, be it family or personal, there is an obligation due to personal involvement and emotions - or to state it better, because you have already invested time, energy, and emotion in the relationship whether just to keep the peace or for your own personal rewards/expectations. It might even be better described in terms of a risk/reward scenario, where a stranger might be high-risk/low-reward while a mate or family member might be a high-risk/high-reward. Adopting a new and proper tact may lower that risk, thereby making the reward much more attractive and much less scary.  Very well stated!
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Let's face it. Some people are simply drama queens and thrive on overeaction. They are the ones taking it to emotional extremes and they do it cause people react to it.
Others go back and forth between emotionality and self-control. Still other's got the emotionality of a brick wall. People are how people are. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Personally, I fall into #2 on Krupa's list.
I'm only just beginning to understand the reasons behind it. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Personally, I fall into #2 on Krupa's list. I'm only just beginning to understand the reasons behind it. then, you are a step ahead of the curve Lynx. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
I am the brick wall.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
i wish i had the desire to read all of this. i'm guessing it has to do with women being overemotional and men telling them this? i think it's true a lot of times actually. now as far as the title, why does it matter if it's a male or female telling you you're not crazy? a lot of people are. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Best idea I have heard all damned day.
This is Texas...signing off. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
So far, I am really enjoying reading this thread. There is some interesting discussion going on. In regards to Motowndowntown, someone isn't always going to be able to recognize when someone else actually does have a disorder. In fact, the other person might not even know s/he has one. So if the behavior is "abnormal", even if s/he really is overreacting, stating such isn't necessarily going to help the situation. In fact, the other person is more likely to "tune out" instead. In that case, because of the disorder, that person is likely to experience unintentional gaslighting effects. This just undermines the entire communication process with that person. Therefore, if it is someone whom you (in the general, not the specific) genuinely care for, it is worthwhile to take this into consideration and adopt a new tact when dealing with that person. Sometimes stating the truth too strongly will be mistaken for a personal attack just because of the force behind the words. Most everyone is going to react defensively when they feel attacked - that's just normal. So understanding why s/he feels cornered is a big step toward resolving the problem. This is well stated. Something I've noticed, is that if 10 random strangers are asked their definitions of "normal" and "abnormal" behavior, it's likely there will be several different definitions, meaning any one of the group considering their behavior quite normal, would likely be defined as abnormal by others in the same group. I've had friends describe dates/past mates as borderline, sociopathic, and or bipolar for the other person's expression/responses to the person relating the events. :) Somehow I'm guessing the past date/mate may likely be describing those relating such to me in very similar terms to their friends :) |
|
|
|
|
