I wonder sometimes if I'm really ready for a steady bf, or husband for that matter. As I get older, I become more set in my ways. I like doing what I want, when I want. If I don't feel like cooking I don't want to cook. Cleaning is a different thing, I can't stand a dirty house. But sometimes I think, wouldn't it be great if I could treat my relationship just like you would a grandchild or my neighbors kids. When I'm tired of you I can just send you home. Any women ever feel like this?

yep. Actually, been thinking alot about that lately...thinking a casual and long distance relationship might be just the ticket..

If it's just a boyfriend and you haven't moved in together, you still have your own space to get away when you need to do so. And who says you have to cook for him all the time? If you don't feel like cooking, don't cook.

Everytime I start to think like that, someone walks into my life..lol Met a really nice guy recently, we have tons in common and get along great but he is a busy man and I'm not so sure he has enough time for someone in his life.. We'll see...

I am with you girl! It seems like when I meet a man, they just want one thing, but that is not what I want. I want to just be with someone on those lonely nights, go out with when I feel like it, and just feel that compassion. I am set in my ways, and I cannot stand a man telling me what to do or try to change a channel on t.v. when I am watching it because there is a game on. NO WAY! I do want someone that I can be comfortable with but sometime I just want to be alone. Like you said, that is when it's time to send them home. No obligations whatsoever, and I definitely do not want him just for sex, there's got to be someone out there that understands, I mean a man that understands.

I don't know about that. I am not good with long distance relationship, only because I wouldn't want someone cheating on me and expecting me to be faithful. Casual doesn't sound too enticing but if that is what's good for you then go for it! I think I have issues with men that think they can have it all! Just commenting on your post, it is not right or wrong, I did think about that but it didn't work for it. Let me know if it does for you. :)

I even thought about looking for a sugar daddy, ha ha!! That is even worse, but at least they take care of you and not expect much, just some good times. I don't know...crazy thinking here!! ha ha

Bad lady, no new shoes

I don't need tons of shoes like most ladies. Plus, I can buy my own.

Hey Some folks can make it sound like a lot of fun but in reality it is like "pick your own poison" most of the time.

If I am going to take the hit for giving up even part of my freedom I am going to make sure I don't get the short end of the stick. I don't mind giving equal measure but just being a sometime thing is not something I want to be or inflict on anyone else.

As far as being "ready" for a relationship I have thought about that a lot.

Things like setting aside time, space, and covering my responsibilities for a potential partner to get a fair shake. A relationship with even a fairly independent person takes change. A creature of habit that may be tough for me.

Now you're thinking strait.

First, I don't want to insult the unusual men who can and do take care of them self and cook and clean like a grown up.

But...

Men who EXPECT a woman to cook and clean and play house or wait on him like a servant in the home just because they are men, can just go jump in a lake.

oh, I'm all talk...I really am an all or nothing sorta gal. Hence, the reason it has been nothing for approx. 20 yrs...but I have been thinking alot about having that special someone in my life and what a very huge adjustment that would be for me.

hi ybcat1,theres nothing wrong with wanting your own space, its good to hear someone think the same and say it out loud. My auntie (who i love dearly) has been in a relationship with a man for 15+yrs and do not live together for that very reason, when shes tired she just kindly tells him to go home, shes happy, hes happy, it all works. i think if more of us took the time and space we need, we would be happier in ourselves! oops, i went on a bit, i think you've made a very good point!
cheers!!!!

a lot of us men feel the same way.....have the tv ALLLL to ourselves

funny I don't see it as that big an adjustment because it starts off slow & you and your partner control the pace (with a little give & take) and most issues are solvable vis normal conversation.....I think 2 things here as I read your comments (and I like your comments - usually well thought out)

first - a relationship takes time and transition son;t forget about transition - I think a lot of people see it as free one day - in prision the next...not really - and if it feels like prison ur wiht the wrong man

second - I feel like being single has been more of an adjustment because I was married for 17 yrs....so it has taken me awhile to carve out a single life that I can call my own - but I will never feel that it's how life is meant to be lived

Funny I have thought that way for a long time now. Just recently meet someone and he has been told that if he wants to go some where ect just tell me he is going. If I go some where I will tell him. I'm not asking if I can go for I'm going anyway if it is something I want to do...

I don't need someone to tell me how to run my life or when I can go and come... I will gladly share where I'm going so the other person knows..

I like my time as well as the next person does. The one I met yeah he cooks one of the things I was actually looking for in a person.. Not only that he will pick up his own stuff and hell even make the bed if he is the last one out of it.

I'm not into babysitting anyone....I will comprise some things in order to make room for another but I refuse to give up anything I enjoy doing...

In reality men want this same thing and have been for a long time. The guy I'm with likes his so called man time hang out with the boys have a few beers go do stuff ect... I'm okay with that I'm a big girl and can find plenty of things to do all on my own..

Then there are times that we want each other to go with one another we ask if they want too fine if not it is what it is...

That is one area I don't have a problem with the one I'm with. I'm not one that I want someone attached to me 24/7 and I really don't know too many that do...It works out in the end for both of us so far....

Good replies . I feel like sweetest and tx...I was married for 16 years and now single for 20. It took me some time to adjust to the single parent life; but I managed. I had a few boyfriends here and there; and for one reason or another they didn't work out. I figure God is going to have to send lightening down my way to let me know if the next one is on my road to travel with. I'm not gunshy. I feel very blessed to have my dreams fulfilled...they just lasted a bit shorter than I had hoped for. I'm not sure at this point if I would move. I also have my family and friends here. Although, I do know that when I retire I want to get somewhere warmer

That is why "dating" is the way to go.

Time for a bubble bath.