Yeah, I'm getting a little tired of women diving for my crotch every time I take them out for coffee too.

But....I LIKE superficial....I am pretty superficial myself.

I like em smart, sexy and willing to figure out immedeately if they want to see if we are compatible naked. (gonna have to figure it out some time).

So, you hot chicks are gonna just have to suck it up and deal with the fact that guys will always wanna take a bad@$$ed car out for a drive. You don't like it...be ugly.

OLE'!!!

:)

I definitely appreciate that honesty! And the car metaphor...

If your going to try and read into an internet thread alone off how "nice" you think somebody is rather than actually talking to the person, you may as well not even put the effort into judging to begin with.

Effort? Judgment? Unless it's part of your profession, judgment stems from ignorance and typically doesn't involve effort.

Also-- my experience has been that most guys don't have to defend their "niceness" so aggressively. I've said it before, but a real "nice guy" doesn't go around telling everyone that he is a nice guy. He just <i>is</i>.

I'm used to dealing with dense Jersey girls, give me a break here. If you look anything short of some skinny fist-pumping idiot you're judged like some creep.

Hm. The tiny bit that I know about NJ leads me to believe that anyone who lives there and is not psychotic should escape. Soon.

Actually, I just dropped a friend off at the airport this evening on his way back to NJ, where he grew up. He's absolutely one of the nicest guys I've ever met... and (sorry for beating a dead horse here)... I have never ONCE heard him call himself "nice."

Whatever you say. Then again, your not arguing with him on an internet forum. Jersey imho is just a pain. I've met girls that were messed up in the head, who hid it pretty well. I've met girls that were looking for the "nice guys" (their words) who settled on skinny drug addicts that basically did everything I wouldn't (**** and run), and everyone else seems way too guarded or has grandiose delusions of who they'd like to date that they never find.

I'm looking forward to leaving.

Re-read what you wrote. That's what I was responding to. You said: "I've played the nice guy many times." It sounds like you were saying you played a part. If that's not what you meant, fine. But, when you write it that way, you have to realize that's how it will sound.

There are no good people or bad people. Everyone lives in between.

When I say "nice" I generally meant comforting, inviting, attentive, well mannered.

From now on, people have to earn their way in tho.

"Nice" wasn't what I was talking about. It was the statement "I've played the nice guy many times" that I was talking about. You weren't saying you were a nice guy. You were saying you played a nice guy. That sounds much different.

Thanks for clarifying, though.

eh still sounds like reading in too closely to whats actually said vs whats actually meant.
And FYI, many "nice guys" are pushed to the point where its too much effort to continue that path.

If someone is really a nice guy, that's just the kind of person they are. They don't get pushed to the point where it's too much effort to be nice.

i dont even know where to begin, ive been out of the "dating world" so long, i forget how! friends is all im seeking at the moment and let nature take its course. i do find that most that i run across claim to want the same thing as far as the friendship, but can not stear clear from constant sex talk. funny part, is, dont get me wrong, im no nun or prude, but my profile clearly states what im seeking and im not into the "hook up" or cyber sex thing, yet... they still continue to pursue it. id love to find a kind, caring, compassionate man who i click with that i can spend time getting to know and let things go from there. flirting is cool... but the straight up sex talk and all of that i think can wait... idk... just my thoughts and opinions here is all. good luck!

Well I haven't even been able to date.. Because I can't even find a simple man !! Most of them are really ( heartless) and I know that not all men? ( I hope) but not much luck!! And I don't know if I am going at it right?? Help?

Apparently, most women believe that most guys feel this way.

Some of us don't. There are few things I find more pointless than the endless parade of "cleavage shots" on one dating site profile after another. It just makes them come across as desperate and "I don't have anything else to offer."

So, as far as I'm concerned, you can put 'em away.

OP :

" It's the reason I hate dating. I want to meet people. People. Friends. "

Then join a club or something ..Now I have NEVER tried anything with anyone on the first date or meet NEVER ..Curious do these guys ever get a second date with you ? LOL

Yep... you got it.

No... they do not. I thank them for the date (if they paid for the meal, for example), and that's it. No second dates... I mean, what's to expect from a second date if you can't keep your hands to yourself on the first!?

The joining a club suggestion is a good one, but I have so little time for that. I have a seven year old and despise the thought of paying any more than I already have to for child care. The most obvious suggestion is that I could meet another single-parent in the area, but there seems to be a shortage of single dads in my area. hmmm...

In Virtual Dating there is no touching the other person.