Give Up?

Hell, I'm just *getting started*!

I don't feel that as each year passes by,,that I have a BETTER chance at finding,,BUT,,I do as each year passes by,,feel that one who is really for me to find,,,will find me,,and IF,,I live only to DIE TRYING TO FIND,,,so be it,,,For alone and w/o another heart to hear beating beside mine as I sleep,,is a punishment unfit for living long...

A big Amen to that one......... hell if they screw up, the way I look at it I will start looking again....

I've given up on dating ... I've had relationships and I like my life as a single. I'd rather just have friends to hang out with.

I’m not closing the door on meeting someone. I just wouldn't be spending any more of my life looking for him.

Lately for me it has gotten to the point of define relationship. I mean they are not sexual or anything but I am becoming like the designated sober person. I am supposed to help to keep this nurse who dropped me off me off at my house to not get too wasted. Last night this female resident told me I was a nice lady so I told her that she was a nice gentleman. Sometimes it is hard me to switch from talking to the crazies and back to talking to the sane ones again. But you know to me a date is a date. Who am I to get so picky. It is not like I am married or anything like that.

It was a wonderful date. Her seven year old son liked me and her six old daughter asked her mother if they could take me home to see her guinea pig. Wow. That was nice. She said she would like a male image in her son's life because he is turning into a pansy and she is like this tomboy type person. She was like dating one of the guys. She wants her son to be more back to nature and not worry so much about money. After the Turkey Trot festival parade we went swimming and the water like really cold I thought. Her son was still shivering after she dropped me off at home. The swim really made a difference in the two kids' behavior and became less aggressive to each other. I really had fun at a parade. It was so deliciously unselfish of me. Who knew I could enjoy such a time with children no less. Hmm. Quite an experience. I might have to try dating again some time.

I think it is polite to respond to comments that people have made on threads that I’ve started so my response is as follow…I don’t know if this is a random rambling - similar to the ones that I tend to make on here - or another dig. If it is a dig, job done. I’ve taken the bait Mr Trout.

If my use of unfamiliar vernacular or (in some people's eyes), my assumed b@rstardisation of the English language causes offense...frankly my dears, I don’t really give a damn.

However I am offering an apology if your comment(s) were genuine - I'm premens and overly sensitive today.

I would stop now,, to be honest. My life doesnt depend on it one way or the other.

I envy you in that case. Although my life doesn't depend on it, it has been taking up a lot of my time over the years.

One of the reasons why I posted this thread was because of an increasing feeling that I have been having lately. I feel like I've been so focussed on the 'hunt' (and my terminology probably isn't helping my mindset ), that I am neglecting other areas of my life...I just wanted to gauge what would be a good age to stop looking - don't know if that makes sense..

right, I get ya

I think I look for 'friends' now,

the 'dating' isnt really a goal of mine anymore,,,although Im not opposed to it if it should dvelop from a friendship

As I have stated in an earlier post. I have a mental cut off age whereby dating won't be a goal of mine either. Like yourself, I also wouldn't be opposed to a long term relationship that develops as the result of friendship.

i turned 61 last september and I have come to face the facts that finding someone to love is no longer an option in my life........so I guess its just me and my dog till I die....

Maybe it's the head burning thing that you've got going on boon but I would have never have guessed that you're 61

Can I ask you a question? Is finding love no longer an option because of a lack of success at finding a long term partner? Or are/were you worn out with the effort?

If we're really looking at the age question, then, in retrospect, I think I'd have been better off to give up when I was 6.

At some point, I realized that there's a sort of cost/benefit analysis going on here. And I realized that I was spending way too much time looking for someone, despite the fact I was completely unable to find anyone (a.) compatible, (b.) local, and/or (c.) someone I was attracted to, on whatever level.

I mean, I'm not out hunting for the Yeti or a unicorn or Martian elves. And I certainly don't spend a lot of time lamenting that fact.

As it seems compatible/local/attractive women show up slightly less often than the Yeti, etc., it just doesn't make much sense to continue the search....

I have also been unable to find anyone that is (a.) compatible, (b.) local, and (c.) someone I am attracted to, on whatever level. For the next few days at least, I am hormonally driven to examine whether I set an end date or keep on going - never expect to totally sound rationale in the thought processing of a hormonal woman

My comments were genuine. "Gone With The Wind", Rhett Butler. I love it. I really love your analogy, in regards, to the topic. Great bridging. When you think about it "Bastardization" of the English language is quite common where I live. I would even say that we murder it here. If I may use your 'a' 'b' and 'c' on the date I found compatibility. She had a strong male side and a weak female side whereas I have a strong female side and a weak male side. She was very talkative which was cool for me as I am introverted. To further elaborate on 'a' she was serious about her need to retain her sobriety as she could possibly lose her children because of her drinking. Not only her children but her license as a nurse. She let me know that she doesn't play well with other females. I really admired that she was trashy. By that I thought her children that she was trying to be father and mother too were very important to her in her effort to support them by herself monetarily and that the strain of that was causing her to want to drink. She wanted to have a fun time with her children and you could tell that she needed that fun time herself. She really let her hair down with me which was different from the nurse/aide relationship where she is well guarded.

(b) Local. Damn, I already outlining. My English teacher would be so proud of me now. Local in the sense of being available without already being married or with a boyfriend. I really admire that in dating as I don't like being the 'third wheel' when it comes to a date. Not already attached is a big thing for me. I really do have trouble with competition and I must admit that must have something to do with my weak male side. But you have understand that I am the minority where I work since I am male. I have had to make some major adjustments to my attitude when it comes to women because the resident population is mostly women; The worker relationship is mostly women and when you take a look at the hierarchy when it comes to management that is mostly women, too. I am really at the bottom of the food chain. But that is not like I haven't been a bottom feeder before so to speak because I was union before I came to this one horse town.

(c) Attracted to. Yeah, that is definitely a biggie. I found that we had a lot in common and was surprised. I mean when 'they' do most of the talking 'you' really find out. There is really no guessing to it. I just really wonder if the 'date' was more of a smoke screen and if she really liked me. But I really think that she did because she opened up to me where she is usually guarded to me because of the supervisor/worker relationship. I would really like to be a fly on the wall when it comes to those nurses meetings. We have no aides meetings. Another thing she mentioned was that she needed a good baby sitter. I am wondering if she was grooming me for that. Which on another level must mean that she trusted me with her children. Evidently, she isn't your regular stay at home mom type of person. She is a hard worker and a hard partyer. She works hard and she plays hard. That must be hard on the children. I could tell that they loved having time with mother.

Yeah, give me a small subject topic and I could write an encyclopedia on it.

I would never give up dating as long as there is someone to date.

3!