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| Topic: A game women play. | |
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My mom did it. My sister did it. And every girlfriend I've had did it too. Nothing is settled until she gets her way. Example; she wants a dog. He doesn't want to live with a dog and says no. So, she waits a few months and asks again. Again he says no. She waits another few months and asks again. This continues until she wears him down and gets her way. I used to cave in after a while, but anymore I tell her I'm not going to change my mind and she should stop bringing it up because it only starts an argument. Whatever it is she wants, or wants me to stop doing, I tell her to decide if it's important enough to end our relationship. If it is, she should go. If it's not, she should shut up about it. So, if you don't get your way, you're fine with ending the relationship? Sounds like you're playing the same game you're complaining about, just from the other side. Again, this is your spin on it and beside the point. Let's use another example. Smoking. Maybe she's a smoker and I don't like it. I could nag her about quiting, I could accept her as she is or I could leave and look for a non-smoker. It's my feeling that options 2 and 3 are better because option 1 is starts an argument every time. Women seem to prefer option 1 and I don't understand why. Humm well I will put my spin on this one for I'm a non smoker. I would never nag anyone into quitting in the first place that is just wrong. If you know they are a smoker from the beginning then that person had a choice from the beginning deal with it or shut up. Since I'm a non smoker my deal from the beginning is they don't smoke in my car nor in my house no if's ans or butt's. I comprise by not nagging them and letting them smoke as long as they comprise and not smoke in my house or car. If they choose to smoke at their place that is there deal I just ask they do not do it in the bed with me.....they can at least go in the next room.. It is all in dealing with things. But as far as a dog that is different that is something both must want or it is best they do not get one. |
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Wow so it is your way or the highway no compromise....this is the reason I stay single and when I do date they keep their place I keep mine...Solves all those issues....he has his time to do what he wants or have what he wants and I have the same privilege... 
You're putting your own spin on this. The point is, that so many women play this game. Games are about power and control over others. Why should I be forced to live with a dog (to use the above example) when I don't want to? Not everyone is cut out to have animals.... Many should never have them they are a lot of work ect. But it sounds like to me from what you are saying here is she wants a dog and you don't and that is the end of story. Maybe you did tell her why you did not who knows. Just the way you put it if you don't want to do it or have it then that is the final word she does not have a choice in the matter.. So where does the Power trip seem to fall? exactly he sounds morelike a bad parent than a spouse.....yuck |
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Look at all these women getting defensive when someone has the audacity to suggest that they nag!
Ladies, you do nag. C'mon, admit it! I'm not saying you should or shouldnt do it. I am just saying you do it. If you cant admit it, it just proves that you do it without realising it, because us men KNOW you do it. ALL of you! |
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I never insist a woman in my life do or stop doing anything. If there is something that I don't like going on I decide if I can live with it for the rest of my life or not. If I can I never bring it up. If I can't I leave the relationship. Women on the hand, nag and complain until they wear a man down or push him to leave. This isn't a threat. I never say "If you don't stop X I'll leave you." It's me knowing myself and what I'm willing to live with and what causes me unhappiness. understood but it does seem to demonstrate your poor negotiation skills as your partner should not HAVE TO NAG or repeat herself that is u not listening/communicating were it me - I do not nag - I leave- so sounds like the women u know give u more chance than I would 
Poor negotiation skills? This is a black and white issue. There is no middle ground. Either we have a dog or we don't. |
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I understand wheref you are coming from their are things I will not deal with either . . .drug use,heavy drinking, mental or physical abuse. I am open and honest about what I like and dont like before I become too involved in a relationship. Perhaps you should try letting the person know how you feel about dogs, smoking or what ever the issue might be from the beginning. . . just my .02.
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She wanted a cat. She wanted it to hold for her friend. Her friend couldn't have the cat and the dog so she chose the dog. But she didn't want the cat litter-box. So naturally she put the litter-box in my room. Little did she realize that cats are territorial and mark their area. So, I got the cat. I didn't ask for the cat. But there it is behind me on my bed. Sometimes if I am real careful I can scoot it out of the way so I can lay down on my bed and not get scratched.
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Edited by
sweetestgirl11
on
Sun 09/11/11 07:10 PM
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I never insist a woman in my life do or stop doing anything. If there is something that I don't like going on I decide if I can live with it for the rest of my life or not. If I can I never bring it up. If I can't I leave the relationship. Women on the hand, nag and complain until they wear a man down or push him to leave. This isn't a threat. I never say "If you don't stop X I'll leave you." It's me knowing myself and what I'm willing to live with and what causes me unhappiness. understood but it does seem to demonstrate your poor negotiation skills as your partner should not HAVE TO NAG or repeat herself that is u not listening/communicating were it me - I do not nag - I leave- so sounds like the women u know give u more chance than I would
Poor negotiation skills? This is a black and white issue. There is no middle ground. Either we have a dog or we don't. yes and poor thinking jmho - it jsut sounds like ur pretty frustrated right now- to generalize about an entire gender is silly. but u sound a bit frenzied so we make allowances 
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I couldn't even imagine what her other limitations are in the relationship...sad.. |
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Look at all these women getting defensive when someone has the audacity to suggest that they nag! Ladies, you do nag. C'mon, admit it! I'm not saying you should or shouldnt do it. I am just saying you do it. If you cant admit it, it just proves that you do it without realising it, because us men KNOW you do it. ALL of you! I do not nag - never have - I say it once actually it was the ex (mine) who was the nag and it was my fault for not listening to him but at that point things were kinda on the skids anyway.... |
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Look at all these women getting defensive when someone has the audacity to suggest that they nag! Ladies, you do nag. C'mon, admit it! I'm not saying you should or shouldnt do it. I am just saying you do it. If you cant admit it, it just proves that you do it without realising it, because us men KNOW you do it. ALL of you! Hahaha I don't nag they can do what they want too cause I'm going to do what I want to.... Like I said live in two different places and it all works out great lmao.. |
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Still on the defensive huh?
Maybe men and women just have different definitions on what nagging is. You are kinda nagging now. Telling us you don't nag over and over until we give in...'ok sorry i was wrong, you don't nag, forgive me please baby' |
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Nagging is when you are getting your azz road to do something you don't want to or have not done yet... |
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I never insist a woman in my life do or stop doing anything. If there is something that I don't like going on I decide if I can live with it for the rest of my life or not. If I can I never bring it up. If I can't I leave the relationship. Women on the hand, nag and complain until they wear a man down or push him to leave. This isn't a threat. I never say "If you don't stop X I'll leave you." It's me knowing myself and what I'm willing to live with and what causes me unhappiness. understood but it does seem to demonstrate your poor negotiation skills as your partner should not HAVE TO NAG or repeat herself that is u not listening/communicating were it me - I do not nag - I leave- so sounds like the women u know give u more chance than I would
Poor negotiation skills? This is a black and white issue. There is no middle ground. Either we have a dog or we don't. yes and poor thinking jmho - it jsut sounds like ur pretty frustrated right now- to generalize about an entire gender is silly. but u sound a bit frenzied so we make allowances
I'm not frustrated in the least. I was just thinking about my past relationships and began to see patterns. This is one I thought was common enough to start a thread about. I know other men have had similar experiences. It's not about me. It's about relationships and the way different people handle disagreements. Alright, educate this poor old fool and tell me, where is the middle ground when one person wants a dog and the other doesn't? |
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You two should set up a meeting in a cave somewhere to grunt around....and share some of your narcissistic manliness.
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It doesn’t sound like a gender related issue to me. The behavior of the women you described is typical of the behavior of every child (male and female) who have never been taught limits and how to compromise and therefore they continue behaving the same way based on what they experienced. It is very common for men, or anyone, to attract people they are familiar with from their past. It may very well be that you are searching out these women who seem to push your buttons or feel the need to nag until they get their way. Furthermore, your expectations and tolerance for problem solving sounds typical of someone who is struggling with control issues.
The question is, does this life style work for you? I mean according to your profile, you’re looking for an intimate encounter, yet you wrote you’re not interested in meeting anyone and that you’re here for the forums to discuss, learn and grow. I’m trying to figure out the purpose of your post. Are you trying to understand women better or are you trying to let off steam? |
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You two should set up a meeting in a cave somewhere to grunt around....and share some of your narcissistic manliness. OK but you better get off your azz and clean that damn cave up first, wench! |
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You two should set up a meeting in a cave somewhere to grunt around....and share some of your narcissistic manliness. OK but you better get off your azz and clean that damn cave up first, wench! uuuughhhhh! I don't take orders from men.... |
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I love winding you lot up!
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Edited by
singmesweet
on
Sun 09/11/11 07:47 PM
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Still on the defensive huh? Maybe men and women just have different definitions on what nagging is. You are kinda nagging now. Telling us you don't nag over and over until we give in...'ok sorry i was wrong, you don't nag, forgive me please baby' Is it nagging when the guys tell us over and over that we nag?
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I was just kidding.
Now be a love and run along and make me a cuppa. There's a good girl. |
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