what is it that makes a guy want to stick around?

Ok...here goes. When I look back at my life and the relationships that I've had. The few long term men came to the conclusion that I wasn't for them. Of course they didn't come right out and say those spoken words. One said he was good for parties and fun...after three years . The other told me after 4 years that he wasn't even sure that I was his girlfriend. Needless to say... I didn't stick around to see if they would change their minds.

I'm the type of person that has to look at myself and say what's up with me?? So...I did a Native American Card reading on myself. All the cards came up mostly positive; but some areas they said I need work. The "Heart of My Matter" said I was happy, have high spirits and a good acceptance of life. I have engergy, endurance, capability in leadership and steadfastness. They told me I am a bit insensative and sometimes lacking in emotion.

When I read my "Present Path" they came up creative, truthful and a good soul of light. I seem to be passive, graceful but...here's the questioning one...."little depth of characture". I've been questioning this with myself for some years now; and am wondering...what is it that makes a guy want to stick around? Is there something that I have to offer other than myself that might hold his interest?? I ask this because I know friends that are biotchy, jealous, naggers and they keep their guys. I'm not any of those and here I am scratching my head.

what is it that makes a guy want to stick around?

It's *not* you...

It's the immaturity of the guy

Sometimes *we*... don't know what we got till it's gone



Just be *you*... the *right* guy will appear out of nowhere when you least expect it. Sometimes it takes us guys a long time to learn to appreciate what we have... sometimes that lesson is *never* learned

First let me just tell you that THIS post,,was not answered much yet,,as many are already dead for the night,,or out enjoying REAL live,,lol,,but many more will see it and reply I'm sure..

YOU have your person,,YOUR "YOU" that shall KEEP any man who truly finds YOU interesting and fun to be with...I mean MOST will always be in parts or their ALL,,,about sex,,,NOW,,the secret to if he finds you all that is by knowing or experiencing HIM,,down your roads to see if THAT happens to be ALL he See's in you..

and with many guys who only say what they feel you want to hear,,its hard to know their real heart and passions minus all their BS?

IF a chemistry forms,,YOUR KNOW right away,,,IF however he becomes distant,,then he will probably just increase THAT...

Any good relationship has to be GOOD in and OUT of the bedroom,,
and as so many rely on SEX being the main issue of their desires to FEEL CLOSE TO YOU,,,,there has to be other areas he and you merge into laughs a or stories with each other about?
Its very hard to find someone who doesn't just want to use you?
And its hard as hell not to get used,,because YOU want to give,,and believe in them.
So we all have to walk that walk,,,into each other,,and meet and date and see how the other is in person,,,and its through that we spark,,FLAME,,or burn-out...?
Your qualities as the woman you are will always separate you from others,,and it will take the right dude to feel a click with ya,,as you have to also feel that same click with him?
What I look for in a lady might not be ANYTHING some other dude is looking for in one to find?
But when THAT CLICK,,,,,within the two of you happens,,,your feel that almost from the start, as its like a drawn into thing,,you both want to be,,see,,talk,,walk,,and,,,let the other know what you feel about them....
YOUR find all that,,,when you find the one who SHOWS YOU YOUR FUTURE in his eyes...as he See's his own within yours...

Have I wrote enough yet?,,,,,lol
OH,,and all this is,,,is me turning all my thoughts and experiences AROUND HERE,,,as for all this,,,,its also true with women as well,,,,,,
You see some of us dudes,,,also,,feel your same way here..

You are asking, in essence, "where can I go and find the Holy Grail?"

Each guy is different. They are both similar and different at the same time and in the same respect.

So most, if not all, guys will want a dynamite looking woman. They all start at the top and work their way down until they find one that's willing to "bare all" for them, so to speak.

Barring modelesque looks, I think women would do well by going the opposite direction from men. Women should approach dating and relationship from the bottom up, because the guys are going top down.

So, gals should start dating the ugly, disgusting-looking, self-defacating morons and losers. Go into a relationship with them, and when the girl realizes she can get something better (but not TOO much better, all of a sudden -- just a little better with each boyfriedn-switch), she should.

Honestly, you can only be yourself.

if any man isnt happy with who you are, then basically you are with the wrong man...

It may take a few mistakes, or in some cases (like me) Lots of bad mistakes.

But there are men out there who will love you for who you are, who will be faithful and committed to working through a relationship.

I guess the best start you can ever have is just to let them see who you are from the beginning, learn about each other and if you are not happy with the man you are with, dont settle for him.. Never ever settle for anything less than someone who makes you laugh, who will give and take fairly, who respects you and is there for you as much as you are for him.If you dont enjoy every part of him and he cant cope with parts of you, find someone else..

bummer my mind drifted and now I have no idea what i was talking about,

Wonderful post...
I don't know much about anything really... certainly nothing about card readings.

But when I was a youth, I'd go hunting a lot. And I'd wake up early with intentions of going after something specific. And after a few hours of waiting around and watching other things scurry around I'd get tempted to simply "take what I could get".
Hunger would sometimes win out over patience.

I find this to be sometimes be true in my dating life too.

I try to find some way to both feed my hunger in the short-term
as well as maintaining a focus to find the thing I really want.

Wish you the best...

I think winterblue, that some people
are simply not emotionally available.
I tend to spot this early on because
I am not attracted to them.
You can be involved with them to beat
the band, but you will not get it back.
That is all they have to give.
If you select someone like that, you
can hardly prepare for the vacuum
to follow.

I think of it this way.
Two people might really like each other
but the passion level is very low.
Both those people may be content with
that.
But if each of them found a being who
was over the moon for them, and showed
it, then each would know the difference.
And what they give up with the so-so
relationship.
Deep passion lasts a long time.
I would hate to see you settle for less.

every man (or boy for that matter) has a need. depending on his maturity level the need could be as simple as sex or as complicated as a business partner. once you figure out his need (some women can do this very early in conversation, some never do) you do what you want to fill that need. even a foolish man will realize his need is being met and will stick around (those are the dysfunctional relationships where he keeps fudging up but won't leave). other men know what they have and cherish every moment

I have experienced the same thing. Like sophiehere said, some guys aren't emotionally available. It isn't something I can figure out early on-wish I could. Some guys are also not able of commitment.

I would say, look at your past and ask yourself what kind of support and experiences you had. Are you repeating something from childhood, even though you aren't aware of it.

I can't count the number of times I think I've met someone and in the end it turns out they leave. I have to ask myself if I subconsciously seek them out because my own family was never there for me. It isn't a pleasant thing, but for some it is comfortable because it's the only thing they know.

Usually the answers we seek are within. It just takes a little time to search them out. Best of luck.