Topics like this always remind of a Best of CL reply I read a few months ago.

"I see this question posted with some regularity in the many personals sections on the internet and what not, so I thought I'd take a minute to explain things to the ladies out there that haven't figured it out quite yet.

What happened to all the nice guys?

The answer is simple: you did.

See, if you think back, really hard, you might vaguely remember a Platonic guy pal who always seemed to want to spend time with you. He'd tag along with you when you went shopping, stop by your place for a movie when you were lonely but didn't feel like going out, or even sit there and hold you while you sobbed and told him about how horribly the (other) guy that you were f***ing treated you.

At the time, you probably joked with your girlfriends about how he was a little puppy dog, always following you around, trying to do things to get you to pay attention to him. They probably teased you because they thought he had a crush on you. Given that his behavior was, admittedly, a little pathetic, you vehemently denied having any romantic feelings for him, and buttressed your position by claiming that you were "just friends." Besides, he totally wasn't your type. I mean, he was a little too short, or too bald, or too fat, or too poor, or didn't know how to dress himself, or basically be or do any of the things that your tall, good-looking, fit, rich, stylish boyfriend at the time pulled off with such ease.

Eventually, your Platonic buddy drifted away, as your relationship with the boyfriend got more serious and spending time with this other guy was, admittedly, a little weird, if you weren't dating him. More time passed, and the boyfriend eventually cheated on you, or became boring, or you realized that the things that attracted you to him weren't the kinds of things that make for a good, long-term relationship. So, now, you're single again, and after having tried the bar scene for several months having only encountered players and douche bags, you wonder, "What happened to all the nice guys?"

Well, once again, you did.

You ignored the nice guy. You used him for emotional intimacy without reciprocating, in kind, with physical intimacy. You laughed at his consideration and resented his devotion. You valued the aloof boyfriend more than the attentive "just-a-" friend. Eventually, he took the hint and moved on with his life. He probably came to realize, one day, that women aren't really attracted to guys who hold doors open; or make dinners just because; or buy you a Christmas gift that you mentioned, in passing, that you really wanted five months ago; or listen when you're upset; or hold you when you cry. He came to realize that, if he wanted a woman like you, he'd have to act more like the boyfriend that you had. He probably cleaned up his look, started making some money, and generally acted like more of an ******* than he ever wanted to be.

Fact is, now, he's probably getting laid, and in a way, your ultimate rejection of him is to thank for that. And I'm sorry that it took the complete absence of "nice guys" in your life for you to realize that you missed them and wanted them. Most women will only have a handful of nice guys stumble into their lives, if that.

So, if you're looking for a nice guy, here's what you do:

1.) Build a time machine.

2.) Go back a few years and pull your head out of your ***.

3.) Take a look at what's right in front of you and grab a hold of it.

I suppose the other possibility is that you STILL don't really want a nice guy, but you feel the social pressure to at least appear to have matured beyond your infantile taste in men. In which case, you might be in luck, because the nice guy you claim to want has, in reality, shed his nice guy mantle and is out there looking to unleash his cynicism and resentment onto someone just like you.

If you were five years younger.

So, please: either stop misrepresenting what you want, or own up to the fact that you've f***ed yourself over. You're getting older, after all. It's time to excise the ******** and deal with reality. You didn't want a nice guy then, and he certainly doesn't want you, now."

48 Independant lady, just wondering??

Ok that failed I wanted to comment on this I had a really great guy like this and have never stopped looking for him I knew as soon as he was gone he is what I wanted our relationship did go a little further than your guys did but anyway I still believe I can find him and with the Internet the way it is I'm surprised I haven't yet do if anyone knows we're Tom melton from Lancaster Wisconsin is tell him Annie has never stopped looking for him!! And to all the nice guys out there stay nice because there are woman out there who appreciate guys like you!!

THAT is the questions of the decade!

Like parking spaces ladylid
All the good ones are gone and whats left are the handicap ones and the ones too far away.




Sorry GUYS I couldn't resist.

Um, I do not think that is funny especially you said,"Handicapped" meaning people with disabilities. Clearly you do not like disabled. That is how I see it. I am Deaf. I feel that is a bit of an offensive statement you said. You know that everyone is disabled? yes, EVERYONE. Why? We are all not perfect. We all fall short of glory of God. Sorry, Maybe I should follow your advice and avoid disabled people like you and I accept others. I have dated Deaf, Hard of Hearing, Blind in one eye, Ushers syndrome, depressed, large, short (4' 7"), tall at six feet, all races, Hearing, losers,... oh I can go on and on. Every one of them have a disabled of a kind. Yes, even you look "Normal". Please apologize for your statement. Thank you!

I've noticed that most good looking men in their early to mid forties are usually gay. That great for gays, but it seriously sucks for us straight people. If the r not gay they typically want only one thing.

Hi there, i joined this site today and have recieved around 30 messages already. Every single man was looking for easy sex, but nothing serious. Some said in the first message, Quote....i wanna lick you all over.....unquote. Others at least asked a few questions before asking to meet for sex. Im 45 not 18. It gonna take more than half a lager to get me drop my knickers. Im not saying all men over 40 are looking for sex. Just the ones that mail me