I think that (some) women need to be more proactive, pucker up and get ready to start kissing thousands and thousands of frogs.

IMO, I also think (and I know this is going to make me unpopular) that (some) women (I am a woman, single and 100% st8), need to lower their expectations and be a bit more flexible - not loose and lacking moral fiber - but more tolerant.

My brother has this saying that goes...once you get into your 40's and looking for guys (or women) of the same age (or older), they often come with truck loads of baggage and issues and it takes a lot of patience just to get through all that crap to find the person underneath.

Personally, I'm not at that tolerant stage yet, but I am giving guys more chances than I normally would. It's not because I'm getting desperate. I just realised that I have a 'type'. This type of guy hasn't worked for me so I'm not going for a particular 'type' anymore.

I went on a date this time last year with someone that I ordinarily wouldn’t have given the time of day to.. we lasted six month and it/he was the most fun I’d had in years. He had way more baggage than I could deal with but I have absolutely no regrets. He could have easily have been the next big love of my life!

Quietguy, I'm sure I saw a 'rant' thread somewhere on here

You can't handle the truth.

I'm sure if I had Jack Nicholson sitting opposite me (and a few other good men), I probably could

Opinionated people rarely can..This is not news to me

Out of interest. What ‘truth’ can’t be handled?

I think Quiet Guy got it right in this thread. In fact he summed me up to a T. I used to think being a nice guy was the way to go even though I always understood nice guys always come last. Now I'm much more cynical about relationships and am seriously thinking is it worth the effort to get hurt all over again? Maybe I could find 'The One' but somehow I doubt it.

I don't have lots of money or a nice car. They are not for me anyway as I see through that particular illusion. I don't have a place of my own and live aboard the trawler I work on. I live a lifestyle rather than have a job. I'm not the kind of guy to enjoy casual liasons although I will engage in them if I feel particularly lonely and the opportunity presents which is rare. They are never as intense as being with one to whom I am commited and in love. For me it's about the giving and not the receiveing that counts and this extends through all levels of a relationship.

Maybe I'm just too sensitive I don't know but I live in hope that one day I'll meet someone I feel comfortable enough with to be able to open up again fully.

Awesome. Another nice guy thread.

for one thing daring, you need to do something about your school teacher looks, like try to dress a little sexy and get some contacts, maybe then you'll look a little more attractive

That is so adorable!

Because we have histories that will be judged according to the females' past failures with men; and vice-versa, certainly. With total honesty or with selective deception, its probably not going to work out in the long run. However, with the latter, a guy might get laid. I'm just saying.

for your honesty..not that you needed approval from me

I don't know how difficult it is to find honest guys in their 40s.. I haven't started looking for men in their 40s yet.

Well, been there-was that...the guy you talk with, share with, lean on when you're not strong and the one who picked you up after your fall from your last BF. I thought I found the right one and after 15 yrs she said she always had a wandering eye and left me with our beloved kids to care for. I am now divorced with custody and with no regrets.
Now that I am out there once again, I have been toying with the good guy/bad boy image or persona. When I act the bad boy, I get more attention. I am not that great looking. When I am the good guy, I am taken for granted. Go figure. One lady friend, went as far as meeting a singe guy like me with two kids as well, but he had a more bad boy image than me.
So I am confuddled as you want a guy who will make you laugh, enjoy going out or staying in and treat you nice yet the guys who look nice, talk sweet nothings and tend to leach off of you or use you mentally and/or physically it's ok as he will change or so you hope. Us 40ish guys are kinda either tired or no longer wish to play the game. It's much easier to be a bad boy than to invest all that time as your friend whom you will never see past that.

I don't know. I meet nice guys all the time. They are not the ones that bop you over the head with their niceness. They are just the ones that say radical stuff like, "Hi, How are you?"

Yes...... Why is that???? wondering the same myself. S.

not married (divorced), not gay , maybe too far away.

Because we have had over 40 years of experience with women. LOL- I liked that one it kinda cracks me up.

I agree with you about this, I married while in college then gave my whole heart to him while with him even tho' he thought I was cheating on him. How could I when I was too busy raising his kids, but I eventually discovered he was cheatin' on me off and on. So I left raised his kids by myself and now since they are in high school I decided to just explore friendship with someone cause my life is now complete in the Lord. Guys don't like that cause they can't have sex with a believer.

We are out here, like me, but my prob is, I work all the time....

Monier U are a cutie! Love Ur profile pic! :)