48 Independant lady, just wondering???


helllo

48 Independant lady, just wondering???

Sorry I tend to disagree it happens to be the good woman that always end up being hurt. If my ex husband is honest he'll agree he couldn't have asked for a better wife but it just wasn't good enough for him

Topics like this always remind of a Best of CL reply I read a few months ago.

"I see this question posted with some regularity in the many personals sections on the internet and what not, so I thought I'd take a minute to explain things to the ladies out there that haven't figured it out quite yet.

What happened to all the nice guys?

The answer is simple: you did.

See, if you think back, really hard, you might vaguely remember a Platonic guy pal who always seemed to want to spend time with you. He'd tag along with you when you went shopping, stop by your place for a movie when you were lonely but didn't feel like going out, or even sit there and hold you while you sobbed and told him about how horribly the (other) guy that you were f***ing treated you.

At the time, you probably joked with your girlfriends about how he was a little puppy dog, always following you around, trying to do things to get you to pay attention to him. They probably teased you because they thought he had a crush on you. Given that his behavior was, admittedly, a little pathetic, you vehemently denied having any romantic feelings for him, and buttressed your position by claiming that you were "just friends." Besides, he totally wasn't your type. I mean, he was a little too short, or too bald, or too fat, or too poor, or didn't know how to dress himself, or basically be or do any of the things that your tall, good-looking, fit, rich, stylish boyfriend at the time pulled off with such ease.

Eventually, your Platonic buddy drifted away, as your relationship with the boyfriend got more serious and spending time with this other guy was, admittedly, a little weird, if you weren't dating him. More time passed, and the boyfriend eventually cheated on you, or became boring, or you realized that the things that attracted you to him weren't the kinds of things that make for a good, long-term relationship. So, now, you're single again, and after having tried the bar scene for several months having only encountered players and douche bags, you wonder, "What happened to all the nice guys?"

Well, once again, you did.

You ignored the nice guy. You used him for emotional intimacy without reciprocating, in kind, with physical intimacy. You laughed at his consideration and resented his devotion. You valued the aloof boyfriend more than the attentive "just-a-" friend. Eventually, he took the hint and moved on with his life. He probably came to realize, one day, that women aren't really attracted to guys who hold doors open; or make dinners just because; or buy you a Christmas gift that you mentioned, in passing, that you really wanted five months ago; or listen when you're upset; or hold you when you cry. He came to realize that, if he wanted a woman like you, he'd have to act more like the boyfriend that you had. He probably cleaned up his look, started making some money, and generally acted like more of an ******* than he ever wanted to be.

Fact is, now, he's probably getting laid, and in a way, your ultimate rejection of him is to thank for that. And I'm sorry that it took the complete absence of "nice guys" in your life for you to realize that you missed them and wanted them. Most women will only have a handful of nice guys stumble into their lives, if that.

So, if you're looking for a nice guy, here's what you do:

1.) Build a time machine.

2.) Go back a few years and pull your head out of your ***.

3.) Take a look at what's right in front of you and grab a hold of it.

I suppose the other possibility is that you STILL don't really want a nice guy, but you feel the social pressure to at least appear to have matured beyond your infantile taste in men. In which case, you might be in luck, because the nice guy you claim to want has, in reality, shed his nice guy mantle and is out there looking to unleash his cynicism and resentment onto someone just like you.

If you were five years younger.

So, please: either stop misrepresenting what you want, or own up to the fact that you've f***ed yourself over. You're getting older, after all. It's time to excise the ******** and deal with reality. You didn't want a nice guy then, and he certainly doesn't want you, now."

That is very true,and goes both ways. And yet,it doesn't matter who you ask,you will almost always get the 'I want a nice guy''I want a woman who's real''I want someone who knows what they want''I want someone who doesn't play games' But too many people seem to think dating has to include some games. Is it the challenge that draws people to someone? Why isn't it just the fact that you get along and are attracted? Or do some people just look at you and dismiss you?

I'm sure many around here wouldn't call me a "decent man." But, I'll give my thoughts anyway.

I'm 50 and I have no trouble attracting women in their late teens and early 20s. They are thin, beautiful and willing to please. Their bodies are firm and feel good in my hands. When I can have women like them there's no reason for me to date mature women.

I'm sure many around here wouldn't call me a "decent man." But, I'll give my thoughts anyway.

I'm 50 and I have no trouble attracting women in their late teens and early 20s. They are thin, beautiful and willing to please. Their bodies are firm and feel good in my hands. When I can have women like them there's no reason for me to date mature women.

Damn, I have trouble attracting anyone..

All I seem to read from almost everyone, you want someone "GENUINE & REAL" amongst other things, and those of us who are real, get told were not. Well we are. We just don't have much tact when it comes to the truth, and we hurt people's feelings at times, and yet truth is what is asked of us. We all have to wonder why we are where we are right. We can’t expect are situation to change unless we first change the type of individual we repeatedly keep going after, if you’re tired of one nighters and false relationships, and or being mislead then you have to stop by changing the type of individual you initially start seeing, it is no different for me. We are out here and alot of times over looked because of money or greed, and or even lifestyle but we are here, being judged for all the wrong reasons.

but since I prefer men with children,,for me, that makes it extra hard to find those that I think have capacity to be committed and HAPPY ABOUT IT,,,,unless they are widowed or their spouse left them,,,which may be a warning that I Will have 'baby mama' drama because women often want to stay in control when their children are with their fathers and their new woman,,,

Uh, why should a man being a widower be a warning?

Damn, I have trouble attracting anyone..