Hello all!

I'm presently down in Miami doing a charity event. I have a free hour, so I thought I'd see how the mingle2 site is doing.

As some of you know, once a week, I volunteer to counsel abused and battered women. It is fulfilling in that I have an opportunity to help those in need.

However, sometimes, I do couples counseling, and that is tough, because it is difficult to look at a man who has put his hands on a woman and not want to bust him up. However, as a Christian, I have to restrain myself.

What I find amazing is that some of these "men" justify their behavior. They'll say things like, "Well, she got me SO riled up that I snapped."

Or, "She did [enter excuse here], so I had to lash out."

Or, "I just lost control, and blacked out."

Here is the bottom line.

Men, there is NO excuse for putting your hands on a woman. I don't care what she does. If she messes around on you, spends your money, burns the house down, you don't put your hands on a woman.

If you're in an argument, and you feel yourself losing control, WALK AWAY. In fact, if you can't argue rationally, that is, without screaming or violence, that is a sure sign to get help.

Now, am I saying that if a female abuses you emotionally or psychologically, you should put up with that? Not at all. Abuse is abuse, be it mental, physical, emotional, spiritual, or psychological. And it should not be tolerated. If your woman is not treating you fair, and you have exhausted all options, get out of the relationship.

However, if you choose to remain, and things are not going well, you should never, EVER, put your hands on your woman. Aside from the obvious, once you do, your relationship can never go back to what it was.

So, why am I writing this?

Well, maybe there is that person, that guy, out there who is about to snap. And maybe, if he reads this post, it will cause him to stop, think about what he is about to do, and WALK AWAY. If so, if this helps one battered woman, it is worth writing.

I'm headed to the charity event in Miami in 30 minutes, but I just wanted to post this before I left.

Hope this helps,
Shiki

Bravo Shiki!
Great post and so very true!

Very nice Shiki.
Thank you for what you said, and what you do to help battered women.
Very commendable.
:)

Shiki, I am sure there are abused women where you live.
You are beginning to enjoy those TSA patdowns aren't you.

Well many things U post I dont agree with but this is one I do!!! I also counseled abused woman and kids and I had to back away because in some cases I wanted to kill the S.O.B.!! Its up to us men to let males know that U arent a man if U do it, your a punk!!! Good Job!!

ok, so now if we can teach a widespread ideal that there is NO reason for men to put their hands on MEN,, the world will be idealic,,,


in reality, we are all human(yes, even men) and we have a natural instinct to fight or flight,, to NOT fight when feeling threatened in any way is NOT the norm or natural thing and should be commended when someone develops it,,,,,


I dont agree with the poor weak defenseless woman concept behind the theory,, women can intimidate and threaten a man just as surely as they can other women and NOONE should be putting their hands on someone else(IMHO) and if they do, society shouldnt DEMONIZE the person who acts in kind(IMHO)

as far as arguments , I can agree, words dont condone violence
but women dont get a free pass in my book for putting their hands on a man(of course, the issue of NECESSARY force is relevant. No need to knock a woman OR a man out if all they have done is push you or grab your arm)

NO abuse is acceptable, but statistics show that many more women are abused by men than the other way around.

Wish you had talked to my ex

How much abuse is not reported at all?

I know putting a number to that is impossible, but I'd like to add to the thread that if you are being abused in a physical way, get help, and get it today.

There is absolutely no excuse for a man to hit a woman.

There is no reason a woman should stay with a man who thinks his excuse for his actions are reasonable.

statistics will also probably show that white people discriminate against minorities more often as well, but I wouldnt quite make the leap of singling out one group by suggesting an ideal that 'white people should NEVER discriminate against black people'

Id leave it at 'people shouldnt discriminate based upon race'


I also am a believer that NOONE should put their hands on another and NOONE who does should be an automatic victim of 'abuse' if the other strikes back,, merely because of the sexual anatomy

That's cause men love to be abused by women.

and because current social stigma teaches men CANT be abused, only abusers...