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| Topic: why can't men love a women for they are | |
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Yeah well that's kind of hard when I came from abused child hood I don't trust anyone because I think their going to hurt me like my dad did My dad beat the crap out me too and for a while I didn't trust any man. I was fortunate to serve in the military and got my confidence back. I also still do martial arts to protect myself as two years ago a man that I loved attacked me from behind. I would be dead if I hadn't been able to fight back. So, trust is no longer an issue with me but I certainly don't let my guard down. |
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Edited by
josie68
on
Sat 12/25/10 11:42 PM
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 Hmmmm I dont have a guard, i just think everyone will be nice until they arn't. Then I just dont let them as close. But mostly people are lovely, I have found only a few who really want to hurt you, so normally i dont notice until its to late to see that someone is going to hurt me, hmmm and then I cant hurt them back without upsetting myself, so life continues in a wierd circle of trust and then hurt  but it has to end sometime. And what would life be if we didnt love and trust, and hurt. it makes us softer and moulds into who we become. Life is to be lived and enjoyed.
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First things first....
Loving a woman for who they are ain't as easy as you think. Who a woman is, changes on a daily basis and trying to blindly guess what is on a womans heart everyday is a friggen b!tch! Only makes it more difficult when women pull that crap about how thier man should just know what the problem is...when most of the time, the chick cant even tell you what is wrong. Secondly...... If you are expecting some dude to overcome your past for you....you are setting some poor sucker up for a no win situation. You have no idea how many times I have found myself pointing out....I AM NOT "HIM", I AM NOT "THEM", I AM NOT "THEY"!!!!!! You said it yourself...your issues stem from the past. You are a grown @$$ed adult and clearly see the problem. It is your choice to use the past for an excuse. Blaming the ghosts of the past is the easy way out. It takes no effort. It is too convenient. The mark of an exceptional person, is having the spirit to learn thier lessons from the past...carrying the good things along with them into the future and leaving thier scars and excuses behind them. The good things in our lives are of our own doing. Same with the bad things. Blaming ghosts gets zero merit in my book. just my perspective...take it or leave it. |
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In my opinion, it is better to work on these issues while you are single and avoid a relationship with anyone until you have worked on you for a while. Good luck.
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I personally love it when a woman wants to whip me, beat me, slap me, and then treat me like man meat. But hey. I'm weird like that.
 
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Hey Fromthe sound of your posts This isn't the time to start looking for ANY kind of love. Especially on the Internet, where the chances of being taken for a ride multiplies! You have to work on You. No matter how long it takes when you do that and learn to love yourself and throw the baggage away. Then look Also Your posts will make men run in the opposite direction and run FAST. They don't want to help you carry all that baggage except to the bus station to wave goodbye!! Good luck to you!  I've got to agree with that. Plus "kina seeing someone" and trolling the internet for someone else does not inspire trust. |
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First things first.... Loving a woman for who they are ain't as easy as you think. Who a woman is, changes on a daily basis and trying to blindly guess what is on a womans heart everyday is a friggen b!tch! Only makes it more difficult when women pull that crap about how thier man should just know what the problem is...when most of the time, the chick cant even tell you what is wrong. Secondly...... If you are expecting some dude to overcome your past for you....you are setting some poor sucker up for a no win situation. You have no idea how many times I have found myself pointing out....I AM NOT "HIM", I AM NOT "THEM", I AM NOT "THEY"!!!!!! You said it yourself...your issues stem from the past. You are a grown @$$ed adult and clearly see the problem. It is your choice to use the past for an excuse. Blaming the ghosts of the past is the easy way out. It takes no effort. It is too convenient. The mark of an exceptional person, is having the spirit to learn thier lessons from the past...carrying the good things along with them into the future and leaving thier scars and excuses behind them. The good things in our lives are of our own doing. Same with the bad things. Blaming ghosts gets zero merit in my book. just my perspective...take it or leave it.  yep, Loving is easy if you just forget what has happened and open up, getting hurt is not as bad as never opening up and loving, The hurt goes away, the lonliness doesnt. And if you are always looking , expecting someone to hurt you , you will eventually find something in all of us.
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Love the new pic Josie....yowzaaa!
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Why can't women love men for who they are.......had to put in the ying to the yang
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Love the new pic Josie....yowzaaa! tHANKS HEAPS |
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Why can't women love men for who they are.......had to put in the ying to the yang Very true.....women have just as much flaws and can have the same serious flaws that men can have. We tend to expect a lot from men. I'm not talking about expecting the obvious--trust, respect etc--but it seems like women really expect men to be anything and everything. |
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Why can't women love men for who they are.......had to put in the ying to the yang Very true.....women have just as much flaws and can have the same serious flaws that men can have. We tend to expect a lot from men. I'm not talking about expecting the obvious--trust, respect etc--but it seems like women really expect men to be anything and everything. Yes, I agree. I have learned not to expect much from men as it only disappoints me. I don't get upset if he doesn't call me or won't go to the symphony so I make plans with my friends male or female. No one is worth waiting for as life is too short. I am not missing out on things because a guy won't make the effort. He; just like me can be replaced. |
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Edited by
navygirl
on
Mon 12/27/10 01:44 PM
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well said I know exactly what you saying. my friend who is my ex is the same she does not know how to deal with things and help herself. I have tried everything to help and also to point out to her the way forward or to just even state the obvious at times but she doesn't listen and then I have to come and pick up the pieces when it goes all wrong.
She is an amazing person and beautiful and talented and very clever but she finds a way of torturing herself by doing silly things and making the same mistakes over and over. it all stems from bed experiences when she was young and has given her trust issues and not knowing how to deal with things. i have tried my best but there is nothing i can do to change her but i can be there and help her when it all goes wrong and fill her with love and and knowing that she will get there and find her happiness and she will do it her way. |
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Distrust breeds discontent. IMO to begin a new relationship you have to take the person at face value and then spend enough time with them to discern true nature. Many men have the same problem with childhood traumas and relationship issues. If you are too guarded you appear deceitful yourself, breeding distrust, etc.
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well said I know exactly what you saying. my friend who is my ex is the same she does not know how to deal with things and help herself. I have tried everything to help and also to point out to her the way forward or to just even state the obvious at times but she doesn't listen and then I have to come and pick up the pieces when it goes all wrong. She is an amazing person and beautiful and talented and very clever but she finds a way of torturing herself by doing silly things and making the same mistakes over and over. it all stems from bed experiences when she was young and has given her trust issues and not knowing how to deal with things. i have tried my best but there is nothing i can do to change her but i can be there and help her when it all goes wrong and fill her with love and and knowing that she will get there and find her happiness and she will do it her way. You are a true friend. Problem with our society as we are slow to change our habits. I was fortunate enough to serve and learn with the military to stand on my own but most civilians don't have that type of experience to draw on. I think we all have to keep in mind that life is too short and we can't let it pass us by because we are too afraid to venture out on our own. Having someone in your life is wonderful but we shouldn't stop living our lives because we don't have someone to share it with. Seems rather silly to me. |
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I may be wrong but isnt it women who always want to change men? I would say that certainly not all women want to always change men. And that some men want to change women as well. |
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I may be wrong but isnt it women who always want to change men? I would say that certainly not all women want to always change men. And that some men want to change women as well. Soooooooooo, any chance you would go blonde and wear a school girl outfit? Just curious........;p |
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I may be wrong but isnt it women who always want to change men? I would say that certainly not all women want to always change men. And that some men want to change women as well. Soooooooooo, any chance you would go blonde and wear a school girl outfit? Just curious........;p I'd never want to be blonde .
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Perhaps you aint getting the ironical part of this statement about trying to change the other person....
Who cares if you WANT to be blonde? I just wondered if you would go blonde for me? (not that I would want you to) |
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