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Topic: 8 dumb mistakes men make with women
no photo
Thu 12/09/10 12:13 PM
Edited by singmesweet on Thu 12/09/10 12:13 PM
Interesting article. What are your thoughts? Ladies, do you agree? Men, do you do these things?

http://www.cnn.com/2010/LIVING/12/09/tf.stupid.mistakes.men.make/index.html?hpt=Sbin
By Susannah Breslin, The Frisky
December 9, 2010 12:00 p.m. EST

Men get all kinds of dating advice -- some smart, some stupid. If you're a guy, it's hard to know who to believe when it comes to us women.

Honestly, as women, sometimes we're not even sure what we want half the time, but you knew that already. In any case, sometimes it's easier for us to say what we don't want.

So if you don't want to send a woman screaming in the opposite direction, don't commit a single one of these "gross" mistakes when you are truly trying to win our hearts.

1. Trying too hard

Think you don't try too hard with the ladies? Think again. There is nothing that sends a woman running like a man who reeks of desperation. She didn't call you back? She didn't return your email? She wandered off to talk to her friends? Dude, she's just not that into you. Chill out and find another woman.

2. Coming on strong

We know you want to sleep with us. All men want to have sex -- all the time. This is obvious. That is just how you are wired. Don't think we don't already know this. But, if you come on extra strong from the get-go, we may be prone to throwing up on your shoes. Try turning down the slime factor and break out a few subtle moves or tamer language, and we just might get with you.


3. Laid-back dude

At the same time, being a stone-cold chiller can be equally ineffective. If you act so laid-back that we ask you if you're still awake, you're probably not trying hard enough. We don't want you climbing all over us all the time, but you've got to put some effort into courting us if you're ever going to get anywhere.

4. The tune-out

OK, we like to talk! We admit it. We like to talk about our feelings, our day, what's going on at work, those shoes we bought today, and where our relationship is going, and, and, and ... You name it, we'll have a discussion about it. We don't care if you actually care. We do care if you actually listen. Pay attention to at least half of what we're saying, and we won't spend so much time trying to get your attention.


5. Mr. Tight Wad

Being cheap is so not sexy. Taking her out on a first date? Try this: pay. Who cares if it's politically correct and if she reaches for the bill. It doesn't have anything to do with money. It has everything to do with generosity. Chicks like it when you pay for stuff. Go figure.


6. Insecure much?

We understand you may not be 100 percent confident, that you, like us, have faults, that you're as unsure as to how to do this as we are, but do not put your insecurities on parade. It doesn't matter how manly you act. A gross lack of self-confidence telegraphs weakness -- and no girl wants a 99-pound mental weakling.

7. Flattery will get you everywhere

Compliments will score you: a happy girlfriend, great sex, everything you ever wanted. It works two ways. Remember: happy wife (or girlfriend), happy life.


8. Our toilet, our rules

If you come over to our house, spend the night, and leave the toilet seat up, we will get up in the middle of the night, sit on the toilet, and fall into the cold, wet water. After that moment, we will always associate you with that moment of falling in the toilet.

This is not the message you want to send. Put down the toilet seat. It's better than sending roses.

smokeybette's photo
Thu 12/09/10 12:25 PM
all too true. all men are guilty of some if not most of them at one time or another. so, please bare with those who fail most and enjoy those who fail the least.

RKISIT's photo
Thu 12/09/10 12:27 PM
actually i do let the toilet seat down when i'm done cause as i've stated before i may have to go caca in the middle of the night

MusicLoverandMore's photo
Thu 12/09/10 12:30 PM
This is a great post. Because I actually do not like men who are pushy, persistant and want to be in a relationship like now.

Riding_Dubz's photo
Thu 12/09/10 12:43 PM
for the most part... some women like the aggressive guy..some like the laid back guy ...different strokes for different folks drinker

no photo
Thu 12/09/10 12:47 PM
I'm the laid back tune-out specialist smokin

darkowl1's photo
Thu 12/09/10 01:06 PM
Edited by darkowl1 on Thu 12/09/10 01:07 PM
a hundred years ago in my teen-age years, 1 and 6.

i guess i could be accused of laying back now, but i'm not looking. i just like friends at this point.

funny thing, over the years. the toilet seat thing....hmmm.

if one does leave it down, they never remember that. they just expect it, and say nothing, but leave that puppy up, and it's like they have a fuzzy magnet toward your presence when you're in the bathroom. i put everything down, top lid too, to be safe....and been yelled at for that many years ago, because i guess it's a hard sit in the middle of the night, and one girl peed on it. too tired to notice i guess.

TexasScoundrel's photo
Thu 12/09/10 02:49 PM
1. Trying too hard

Think you don't try too hard with the ladies? Think again. There is nothing that sends a woman running like a man who reeks of desperation. She didn't call you back? She didn't return your email? She wandered off to talk to her friends? Dude, she's just not that into you. Chill out and find another woman.


Trying too hard is a mistake many men make. It can come off as needy or even creepy. Just be pleasent and pay attention to your body laguage. That means don't lean in.

2. Coming on strong

We know you want to sleep with us. All men want to have sex -- all the time. This is obvious. That is just how you are wired. Don't think we don't already know this. But, if you come on extra strong from the get-go, we may be prone to throwing up on your shoes. Try turning down the slime factor and break out a few subtle moves or tamer language, and we just might get with you.


I really haven't seen much of this. However, if you're shy and trying to break out of your shell, you'll have to cross the line many times before you know where it is. I say push the limits as far as you can, but pay attention to her and pull back is you sense any discomfort in her.


3. Laid-back dude

At the same time, being a stone-cold chiller can be equally ineffective. If you act so laid-back that we ask you if you're still awake, you're probably not trying hard enough. We don't want you climbing all over us all the time, but you've got to put some effort into courting us if you're ever going to get anywhere.


This is the other side. Women want a man that can take charge and lead, a man she can respect, a man to sit at the head of her table. If he won't make a move, she'll assume he's not interested or a sissy.

Men, there is a window of oppertunity with women. It's been my experance that she's more likely to sleep with you on a first few dates than after the tenth.

4. The tune-out

OK, we like to talk! We admit it. We like to talk about our feelings, our day, what's going on at work, those shoes we bought today, and where our relationship is going, and, and, and ... You name it, we'll have a discussion about it. We don't care if you actually care. We do care if you actually listen. Pay attention to at least half of what we're saying, and we won't spend so much time trying to get your attention.


This is relationship advice and has nothing to do with dating. This stuff comes later. If she's talking about dull stuff on a date you've likel;y already messed up and it's over. Next she'll be making an excuss to go home.


5. Mr. Tight Wad

Being cheap is so not sexy. Taking her out on a first date? Try this: pay. Who cares if it's politically correct and if she reaches for the bill. It doesn't have anything to do with money. It has everything to do with generosity. Chicks like it when you pay for stuff. Go figure.


I'm cheap. I won't invest more than about $25 bucks on a date until after the relationship has become sexual. I've found the less I spend the more likely it is she'll go on a second date with me. But, you have to be creative in where you take her and make sure you're both having a good time.


6. Insecure much?

We understand you may not be 100 percent confident, that you, like us, have faults, that you're as unsure as to how to do this as we are, but do not put your insecurities on parade. It doesn't matter how manly you act. A gross lack of self-confidence telegraphs weakness -- and no girl wants a 99-pound mental weakling.


Confidance is everything. If you don't have it, learn to fake it.

7. Flattery will get you everywhere

Compliments will score you: a happy girlfriend, great sex, everything you ever wanted. It works two ways. Remember: happy wife (or girlfriend), happy life.


Compliments are tricky. I have found it best to get to know her a little and compliment her on things other than her looks. Afterall, every guy tells her she's attractive, but how many take the time to get to know about the award she won? Compliment her on things that make her unique among women.

8. Our toilet, our rules

If you come over to our house, spend the night, and leave the toilet seat up, we will get up in the middle of the night, sit on the toilet, and fall into the cold, wet water. After that moment, we will always associate you with that moment of falling in the toilet.

This is not the message you want to send. Put down the toilet seat. It's better than sending roses.


Yeah, good advice.

ron62449's photo
Thu 12/09/10 03:07 PM
8. Our toilet, our rules

If you come over to our house, spend the night, and leave the toilet seat up,

So...are you saying that if you spend a night at a man's house, the woman needs to put the seat up?

Ron

Seakolony's photo
Thu 12/09/10 03:14 PM

Interesting article. What are your thoughts? Ladies, do you agree? Men, do you do these things?

http://www.cnn.com/2010/LIVING/12/09/tf.stupid.mistakes.men.make/index.html?hpt=Sbin
By Susannah Breslin, The Frisky
December 9, 2010 12:00 p.m. EST

Men get all kinds of dating advice -- some smart, some stupid. If you're a guy, it's hard to know who to believe when it comes to us women.

Honestly, as women, sometimes we're not even sure what we want half the time, but you knew that already. In any case, sometimes it's easier for us to say what we don't want.

So if you don't want to send a woman screaming in the opposite direction, don't commit a single one of these "gross" mistakes when you are truly trying to win our hearts.

1. Trying too hard

Think you don't try too hard with the ladies? Think again. There is nothing that sends a woman running like a man who reeks of desperation. She didn't call you back? She didn't return your email? She wandered off to talk to her friends? Dude, she's just not that into you. Chill out and find another woman.

2. Coming on strong

We know you want to sleep with us. All men want to have sex -- all the time. This is obvious. That is just how you are wired. Don't think we don't already know this. But, if you come on extra strong from the get-go, we may be prone to throwing up on your shoes. Try turning down the slime factor and break out a few subtle moves or tamer language, and we just might get with you.


3. Laid-back dude

At the same time, being a stone-cold chiller can be equally ineffective. If you act so laid-back that we ask you if you're still awake, you're probably not trying hard enough. We don't want you climbing all over us all the time, but you've got to put some effort into courting us if you're ever going to get anywhere.

4. The tune-out

OK, we like to talk! We admit it. We like to talk about our feelings, our day, what's going on at work, those shoes we bought today, and where our relationship is going, and, and, and ... You name it, we'll have a discussion about it. We don't care if you actually care. We do care if you actually listen. Pay attention to at least half of what we're saying, and we won't spend so much time trying to get your attention.


5. Mr. Tight Wad

Being cheap is so not sexy. Taking her out on a first date? Try this: pay. Who cares if it's politically correct and if she reaches for the bill. It doesn't have anything to do with money. It has everything to do with generosity. Chicks like it when you pay for stuff. Go figure.


6. Insecure much?

We understand you may not be 100 percent confident, that you, like us, have faults, that you're as unsure as to how to do this as we are, but do not put your insecurities on parade. It doesn't matter how manly you act. A gross lack of self-confidence telegraphs weakness -- and no girl wants a 99-pound mental weakling.

7. Flattery will get you everywhere

Compliments will score you: a happy girlfriend, great sex, everything you ever wanted. It works two ways. Remember: happy wife (or girlfriend), happy life.


8. Our toilet, our rules

If you come over to our house, spend the night, and leave the toilet seat up, we will get up in the middle of the night, sit on the toilet, and fall into the cold, wet water. After that moment, we will always associate you with that moment of falling in the toilet.

This is not the message you want to send. Put down the toilet seat. It's better than sending roses.

3 4 5 6 7 I agree with number two if it comes across funny and flirty over creepy ist okay the rest not so much for me number one doesn't really affect me either way I am pretty honest so I wouldn't think that would happen with me

venusenvy's photo
Thu 12/09/10 03:57 PM
Goodness!! I would hate to be a man...I could never remember all those rules frown

motowndowntown's photo
Thu 12/09/10 04:50 PM
Too many people have too many rules and then spend their time wondering why they are alone.

Gossipmpm's photo
Thu 12/09/10 04:53 PM
I love men!!!:heart: :heart: :heart:

mrheartfelt's photo
Thu 12/09/10 05:01 PM

Too many people have too many rules and then spend their time wondering why they are alone.



The post is great and true. I do agree with this part.Rules will inhibit your future and your past will never go away. Gotta leave it behind and move forward or you will never find "the one". Patience is a virtue.

Listening is the greatest thing a man can do. Having time to listen is also important. Women hate being rushed!!!!!!

motowndowntown's photo
Thu 12/09/10 05:15 PM
Scan the profiles in any dating site and you will find;

Women want to be entertained. Note how many mention a sense of humor as important.

Women want someone who is sociable and family orientated. Note how many mention family and friends as important in their lives.

Women want a man who will pay attention to her and only her. Note the constant desires for loyalty in profiles.

Women desire a man who is reasonably well groomed and fits her criteria for "good looks".

Women want a man who fits into her lifestyle, ie social standing, likes and dislikes.

Fill these needs and you won't have to worry about which way you leave the toilet seat.

Seakolony's photo
Thu 12/09/10 05:22 PM

Too many people have too many rules and then spend their time wondering why they are alone.

Really because I thought it was about mistakes men make towards women not rules they must follow..........

no photo
Thu 12/09/10 05:25 PM
So, I agree with some of these and not others.

1 - Trying too hard is never a good thing.

2 - Saying hi, then talking about how much you want/need sex is also not a good thing. Relax a little.

3 - I tried dating someone who considered himself laid back. It turned out he was just very indecisive. If you are so laid back that you cannot make any plans on your own or make any decisions, we're not going to get along.

4 - I don't see this as a problem right away. Though, if we're on the first few dates and he's already stopped paying attention, it's definitely time to stop dating.

5 - Some of the best dates are free.

6 - Confidence is definitely important.

7 - I don't need to be flattered all the time.

8 - This is just common sense.

no photo
Thu 12/09/10 05:26 PM

Scan the profiles in any dating site and you will find;

Women want to be entertained. Note how many mention a sense of humor as important.

Women want someone who is sociable and family orientated. Note how many mention family and friends as important in their lives.

Women want a man who will pay attention to her and only her. Note the constant desires for loyalty in profiles.

Women desire a man who is reasonably well groomed and fits her criteria for "good looks".

Women want a man who fits into her lifestyle, ie social standing, likes and dislikes.

Fill these needs and you won't have to worry about which way you leave the toilet seat.


Aren't these the same kinds of things men want? Some maybe more than others, but you'll definitely what men are looking for in their profiles as well.

no photo
Thu 12/09/10 05:31 PM

Too many people have too many rules and then spend their time wondering why they are alone.


I don't see these really as rules, but more as preferences and common sense. Everyone has preferences.

Gossipmpm's photo
Thu 12/09/10 05:33 PM
Lieing!!!!!!

The mortal sin when it comes to me!!

Ugggghh:heart:

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