you've never been stung by a snake? me either...lol

Me either! At an early age my father told me to have soap-on-a-rope while showering in public places!

When my hair was long I apologised to a stop sign. I was glad nobody was there when I walked into it.

Hummm just last weekend I was at my daughter's Halloween party. Went to step backwards in her kitchen not sure what happen but slipped and fell on my azz and twisted my knee..... Been limping all week long.... But now sure the alcohol had a factor in my slipping ......

Years ago I learned that it's not a good idea to scoot yourself around on a creeper if you have long hair. One day I was working on a Mustang and kicked myself out from under it quite quickly when my hair got caught in one of the casters. I now keep my hair tucked safely away.

I walked out of the bathroom in a hurry one day. I wasn't wearing any shoes and apparently lost all coordination for a moment. I kinda', sorta', but not really kicked the door and this resulted in a broken foot. I still won second place in a swimsuit contest that night despite my limping. So, I guess it all worked out.

I've cut the end of off of several of my appendages a few times. Nothing a little tape won't fix! Grows back perfect with no scar at all. Even the one time when I was little and was riding a bicycle while wearing flip-flops. I hit a 'pothole' in the sidewalk. The bike flipped over and chopped off about 1/2" of my big toe got when it went between the chain and front sprocket. Took a while for the nail to regrow, but a little tape put it all back together in no time and I was back off and doing things that made me say "DOH!".

HAHA. Yeah, something like that. It's amazing how the body can heal itself. One time a buddy was over my house and wasn't very experienced at all with riding bikes. I had an old dirt bike laying around that was BARELY ridable (even if the brakes did work). He wanted to ride it anyway. We were on a dead end street and was about 200 yards to the end. He got it up to about 50mph before he realized he should try slowing down. It's hard trying to slow down that fast without brakes! Long story short, he crashed it and SOMEHOW lost a nipple in the process. Well, half of it. The part that didn't 'get lost' was just 'hanging' there. Anyway, to everybody's amazement, it eventually grew back to where you can hardly tell!

Wow...some of you have me beat

As far as "stumping your toes"...I guess the equivalent for me would be I am always getting my fingers caught in the spokes of my tires...fingertips are really sensitive!

i was taking this beautiful girl to the prom, and i had to use the facilities. well somehow i had a wardrobe malfunction and when i tried to zip up i got my frank and beans caught inbetween the zipper.

Thats from "Something about MARY"

Now we know who the movie was about, LOL

what a coincidence the girl i was going to prom with was named helga

Jogging...4 weeks ago.

Just minding my own business, jogging, and all of sudden my ankle slips...BOOM, broken 5th metatarsal in my foot. The suck part of it is I was still a mile from home and had to walk the last mile on a broken foot. Brett Favre would be proud...although I didn't show my wiener to anyone...

OMG Ese...

Wow Nitsua...sounds painful

Was Helga any..helpa?

I heard this one time this guy was going to have sex with this girl so he was getting ready in the bathroom and he had it all ready to go and when he came out of the bathroom he slipped and fell right in top of of his penis while it was hard!!! Ouch!

Years ago, I was walking into a friends living room to party with a few friends. I was already half drunk and pretty stoned. That's when I met Mr. ceiling fan as he was introduced to my forehead.

To this day, the scars are still visible and the friends that watched it still laugh about it.

I got one, in a drunken stupure I kneed the bed of my truck and busted my knee cap!? Owee huh

Ouch...is Mr. ceiling fan anything like Mr. floor? He is vicious.