I say single because I am ONE adult. I consider myself flying solo. There are people who are not married but are in commitments who are being misleading in stating they are single. Single, implies to most people that one is available with no one tied to their hip.

There haven't been any other responses to OKCUTIE67's post. Are there others who assume something is wrong with a person if they're single and in their late 30s and 40s?

I say that I'm single because I'm single.

As long as my 14 wives dont find out, I am single!!

I made reference to this a few pages back.

No, there is nothing wrong with a person who has never been married in their 30’s, 40’s or older.

THEY ARE SMART!!

I believe the converse it true in that having divorces, and a lot of failed relationships demonstrates there MIGHT be something wrong with the person. I believe those people make quick decisions regarding issues that are too important; they settle for “just anyone” for the sake of not being alone.

It’s a whole lot of red flags when someone has a trail of unstable relationships.

I definitely agree with you, Melody. While I wouldn't stay away from a person because they're divorced, it would raise a red flag if they were divorced more than once at an early age, or several divorces later on. Of course, it would depend on the person, though.

I do wonder why people assume something is wrong with a person for not having been married by a certain point, though. I'm in my early 30s and I've had people ask me what's wrong with me since I haven't been married yet. I'm just not one of those people who settled for someone I wasn't absolutely happy with in order to be with someone.

I've been married twice. Both times for 12 years. I would suggest to stay the hell away from me.....

Allow me to expand on what Melody wrote. People who have multiple failed marriages do, for the most part, re-marry because they just don't want to sleep alone, or be alone period. I admit...being with someone is awesome. But it is that much more special when you meet someone that you truly want to be with. It shouldn't be that you meet someone, and they say to yourself, "Ok. You'll do." I was married, and it did fail. Does this mean I don't want to be married? No. It doesn't. I want to be head over heels in love with someone before I do. And, I want great sex.

But seriously, I do believe that most people who have been divorced (even just one time) will say they are "single" because of the stigma that they feel society has on divorced people. You can sometimes feel like damaged goods ya know. But then again, I am 37, divorced, and I get asked why I never had kids. I also get asked if I hate kids. LOL. So I am divorced and apparently get judged as someone who hates kids. Gotta love society.

They call me Red Flag

And to expand what Goof expanded - the ultra expansion!

A person doesn't have to be divorced to have failed relationships. Some people never get married but have 16 ex's.

I also don't discriminate against someone who has ONE divorce. Hopefully they learned the first time to make better choices. Everyone makes mistakes.

Newark, you had two long term relationships. I don't think that is necessarily bad. 12 years each is a long time. You are capable of commitment - and they might not have been your fault.

Well...I have been divorced twice and I am only 43. The first marriage was 15 years and the second was 10. I never "planned" on being married more than once, but life has a funny way of taking your plans and stomping on them till they don't remotely resemble anything you had in mind.

My first ex...we were just too young and well to put it bluntly...he never grew up. He kept drinking until it was an everyday thing (among other things) and it became a situation I could no longer tolerate or see bringing kids into, so I ended it. I still care about him deeply but he is still the same to this day.

My second ex, even though knowing from the beginning that I may not be able to have kids, and being with me through all of the medical issues my female problems caused me, left me 2 months after I had to have a hysterectomy to save my life.

So I guess if people want to think there is something wrong with me because I have been divorced twice and I'm only 43, then so be it. I have had only 5 men my entire life and all were LTR's so....it is what it is I guess.

I think it's important to disclose the fact that you've been married and divorced but it doesn't matter to me if they describe themselves as being "single"

What if I'm a polygamist but divorce only one of my harem? Does that make me divorced, married, single, or just masochistic?

BTW, only about 6% of relationships that can be defined as committed at some point actually survive 20 years. Therefore, the vast majority of us are failures. It only really defines us as human.

Sometimes, divorced says more positive things about character than staying married. It means you had the guts to admit you deserve to be optimally happy - assuming you have tried earnestly to reconcile.

I'm never scared of people who admit their own fragility. One person's garbage is another's treasure, as they say.

Bring on the drama!!

Here, here Emmy ... You're a good and loving soul. Your husband-to-be-named-later will appreciate that you are fastidious about whom you choose to give your heart.

Now go put on your footy pajamas and get to work on BT's web of network glitches.

Thos thread is old school baby ... Pats, Myka, Lex, Melody, Harmony, SingMe and Mikey ... We are only missing Auburn, Water and Lee before this can be archived. (Hope I got nearly everyone; I'm slow today.)

And what ever happened to Myrtle Beach Dude?

Good topic. My last relationship if you just count marriage as a marker I was widowed. But the relationship before that I was divorced. At some point in my life before the marriages I was actually single. Since I married the same woman twice before becoming a widower by the third marriage it has me confused to my actually status. It helps to have on my profile that I am just looking for a woman for friendship because that was what I was looking for all the time I guess. Something to think about and I am glad you brought the point of view in context. Being in the unmarried status is something that I can actually be a member of.

I think this qualifies you as a Mingler my friend.

Sorry you lost a wife. That's a big challenge to navigate.

When you fill out a credit app, or a job application it has a check box for single or married (JOINT). Can't say that I have ever seen a check box for Divorced. Excluding the dating sites of course.

If I go to a bar or a party by myself because I am no longer married, I consider my self going as a single person. What if you were never married but lived with someone in a "co-habitat" relationship? Are you single when that relationship is over? You weren't married legally, but just cause you do not have the "legal" document does not mean that it was not a "marriage" type relationship.

Single is Single and Couple is Couple no matter how you look at it.

Thanks. I have had to learn how to be happy all over, again. Being happy is not a bad thing. I actually know people who are happy being happy. I kind of like the words "actually" and "happy".

Thanks Larry.....