Okay boys...couldn't you at least throw in "most women" seems you referred to most men?

Not all of us are looking for cardboard cutouts, and some of us women are definitely worth more than the trouble we cause, if you get to know us instead of just judging us by how we look in a mini-skirt and heels, or how much cleavage we have. Hell, any girl can get that with a roll of duct tape from the local hardware store.

If you want to get in my undies Ferenc, which seems to be what you believe is man's ultimate goal, be man enough to ask nicely and you might. You just gotta learn to speak my language.

How do you go about doing that? By asking questions, I'd think. Shouldn't matter if it's in real life at a bar or the library, on this site, with sky writing, or chucking messages in a bottle...the goal's the same...learn about each other and see if you're compatible. It takes time in any avenue you choose to use before access is granted, the timeframe to be decided by the morals of those involved. Some people want instant gratification, some prefer a deep understanding of another before it moves to that level. To each their own.

That's my thinking anyway, but I tend to do that too much. It's addictive. I tried to stop once but I can't kick the habit, but that's a whole different thread.

Back to this one, which seems to lack the woman's perspective, and while I don't claim to be the typical woman, my vagina still qualifies me, so I shall continue with my long winded rant...seems you boys have had your say.

Just kidding...I'm done now. Continue with the slam fest. I have to go mope because I'm convinced my mini-skirt days are long gone and how will I ever attract a man?! Guys say they want intelligence, creativity, blah, blah, blah, but it's all about sex appeal.

Why do all women notice when that happens?

Speaking strictly for myself, I don't get the point of heels, and I have no interest in cleavage. A mini-skirt at the right place and time can be a good thing, though. I have embraced my own shallowosity.

Makes sense, as a strategy, but how do you learn about someone whose entire persona is summed up in "I don't know what to write here"? What is there to get to know?

I believe communication is the key to any relationship. But "most women" on dating sites, from what I've seen, either don't want to communicate, or don't have the skills. Either way,it's not something I have any desire to pursue.

But I DO want intelligence and creativity -- those are essentials -- but there are other factors involved. Is "sex appeal" one of them? Sure, but it's not at the top of the list. Maybe in the the top five, but my definition of "sex appeal" really doesn't mesh well with most of the "normal" parameters, anyway.

All I can tell you is that, in Indianastan, there isn't anyone I've seen who is intelligent, creative, OR attractive. It's been a year and a half since I've been attracted to anyone in real life, and that was in Illinois.

Well, I'm certainly not interested in marriage -- once was enough -- but I wouldn't date anyone who was in a bar anyway. Just a personal preference.



I've met 9 people from dating sites, and all of those were horrible experiences. Everyone else I ever got involved with, I met through friends. Those were not good experiences, either, but they were less horrible than the on-line ones. Friends will generally not fix you up with arsonists and phony kidnap victims, etc.



I don't find it scary so much as bland, unappealing, completely unoriginal, and plagiaristic. Most of the profiles are exactly the same; they could be using a template.

I get IMs and e-mails every day from new people who all say exactly the same thing. Even the questions are asked in exactly the same order. They don't pay any attention to the answers either. They will ask the same question 5 times, even if I've answered it the first 4.

It's hard to generate much enthusiasm when the people who contact me show all the intellect and initiative of a cow sleeping in a pasture.



Really? By those criteria, I should be doing really well here -- I've written 4 books, I studied psychology for 7 years, I know a little bit about asking questions, and my grammar is pretty decent.

And none of it matters in this venue.



I'm not even going to try to pretend to understand the female perspective on this. All I've ever seen is that they want a guy who they can mold into a domestic farm animal.



That scenario is absolutely more realistically applicable in a "real-life" context.

But there is -- for me, anyway -- a certain detachment mentality that comes with the on-line environment. Maybe it's because I've had the awful experiences in the past, maybe it's because I don't see anyone even remotely compatible on any dating sites, maybe I've subconsciously come to grips with the "they're more trouble than they're worth" mindset -- I don't know.

I just can't be "attracted" to someone on-line if all I have to work with is a picture -- usually that's no help, anyway, since half the profiles use pictures of 2 or 3 or more women and they never bother to tell you which one the profile belongs to. I need to know something about a person before I can feel any connection -- and if you've read any sort of representative sampling of dating site profiles, you've seen my dilemma. "I don't know what to write here" doesn't cut the proverbial mustard.

Really though, why don't people like guys that eat flesh?

so...Lex, you've said the same thing about 500 times since I got here, what are you looking for?

Personally, I think you might want to work on some of the things you say we 'women' are and how we all would like to change you, when possible, very possible, it may be your perspective that needs a little altering.

You've had some bad experiences, isn't that what life is about?

What makes it so different for you than any of the rest of us?

Have you have been date raped? No, I don't think you have. But there's ALOT of women who have, you don't see us all whiny and hating men and think they're all out to get us.

And more than half of them don't report it, try to figure out what they did wrong when in all actuality it was the a-hole who thought it was perfectly alright to take what he wanted, even when told no.There's ALOT more that women go through terrible things from men than the other way around, trust me on this one Lex.

Try being a little more open minded than constantly bashing the women and how we're all some sort of 'creature' that can't be fathomed, or we're all the same.

Usually when we end up with someone again and again, it's something in US that makes us attracted to them and visa versa until we work it out and fix those things in US.

Its not that boring guy's fault Im not into him and its not that stoopid girls fault that Lex is not into her.

I want to keep it out there, right up front. I don't want there to be any misunderstandings on this -- I don't want someone to tell me, down the road, "Well, I was never really sure what you were trying to find."

See, I'm operating under the assumption that there may be someone out there who really "gets it" -- someone who will see what I've written and then something will just click. I met someone like that once; it was great, but she had other issues. But maybe there might be someone else out there who will grasp what it is I'm trying to do here.



All I can do is work from my experiences. My experience has been that woman lie to me at the beginning of the relationship, then later they try to turn me into a sitcom dad. That's how it's always been, with one exception. You want to talk about my perspective, there it is. That's all I've got to work with.



I'd like to think there's a little more to it -- like learning from those experiences and taking measures to prevent them from happening again.



I don't know. But it is. I guess maybe it's because most people don't have the same standards and preferences I have.



That's an absurd and horrible analogy -- we're not talking physical violence here.

But I will say that I see a LOT of women on dating sites whose profiles are little more than a list of complaints about men in general. That's fine -- everybody needs to vent, and I'm sure they've had plenty of bad experiences, too. And I'm sure they don't want to repeat those bad experiences. Neither do I. Why is this a bad thing? -- for anybody?

Take a couple hours and read through some women's profiles -- you might be surprised at the level of venom you find.



I'm not doubting you. But it's an entirely separate issue and has nothing to do with the fact that I want to make sure that people understand what I'm NOT looking for.



Again, I'm working from my own personal experience here. I can't pretend it never happened. I mean, I think I'd be much happier if I had any reason to believe that there was someone different out there -- I'd like to think there is, but I see no evidence of it. Outside of one relationship, everyone else I've been with HAS been the same. And I've been in a lot of relationships. And then I sign up on dating sites and I read an infinite number of profiles that are all the same. I'm not seeing much to be open-minded about.



I don't doubt that. But now I find myself in a position where I'm just not attracted to anyone at all, and I think it might be for the beat.

What's wrong with having human flesh
for dinner?

You have NO idea what men put women through,

meet me at The Cannibal Bar

Really though, why don't people like guys that eat flesh?

regular ol finger food