I found myself interested in a much younger man.... him 22 me 42... we have now been together a year and 5 months... things were pretty rocky a first and became great... we seemed to both have very strong feelings for each other... problems... he uses his age as an excuse to be immature and continue with habits that keep him from getting a good job.. he recently landed a job and has now decided he doesnt want anyone "holding him back" ??? Idont know what to make of this.. one day he loves me more than anything and wants me and the next he has a friend ask him to go out and he doesnt want me. i think i have become too involved in hoping to help him become a better person and lost sight of the fact that i dont think he wants the same right now. what do i do... let him go... everyone says i can do much better..his mouth is mean and hurtful... but he lives with his folks that are that way to each other every single day... im hopelessly lost here...i really am a pretty lady and am always guessed the age of 29-31... its not that i was looking for that young of a person..it just happened and i fell. amy advice??

My only comment is that "You Get What You Pay For"!

Immaturity does have it's price.

Good luck with your "baby sitting" (sorry, I just had to add that) and hope you figure your situation out.

JMO

TMF

Here is my advice - forget him, throw him out of your life. you do not have the time to waste on someone who does not respect you. The age difference is nothing, you must have respect in a relationship or you have NOTHING:

i agree
you have to imagine your life 20 or 30 years down the line with that same person.
would you really have been happy with him?

^^ This!



Get up, dust yourself off, and move on.

The age thing is an excuse for disrespect. Nothing good can come off that.

I agree with Srp ^^^

Disrespect is unacceptable at any age.

I dated a lady half my age awhile back had a great time but when she got transferred outta state, I set my sights on ladies no more than 10 -15 years younger and 5 years older, its just a matter of interests really!!!

He's 22..he shouldn't want anything holding him back..if he feels you are then let him go, move on, find someone who is wanting the same things you are.

While I'll admit my 26 year old son has some mighty fine friends up into their 30's, realistically I see them a toy with potential stamina...not really relationship material.

he is immature
Let him go
You yourself say your pretty and your friends say you can do better
Please do better

He is way to young to settle down and your age difference is a problem. He is not imature, he is just young and hasn't decided what he wants to do with his life yet and he shouldn't he has a lot of time to figure that out. You were fun while it lasted but he has a lot of "oats" to sow and he is young and want's to hang out with his friends and meet new people (girls). You need to move on also and maybe with someone a little more close to your age. I have also dated younger men but have always realized it was fun and would not last.

stop being stereotype there are Alot a 20 year olds that knows what they want goal oriented futuristic etc age doesn't stop persons from being respectful yes we all agree he is young but everybody gonna play the age game just say his level of maturity is way low

I have found that immaturity knows no age limits. I really don't see anything wrong with large age gaps, however, large differences in age does seem to pose problems that don't occur in relationships where both involved are of similar ages.

I think it would be hard to find someone that is more than a few years younger (or older) that has the same interests as I do. Not to mention that I have had much more experience in life than someone twenty years my junior. I have an adult child and will not have more at this point. Also, I have found it difficult to hold a long and meaningful conversation with someone who just has not had time to explore the world around them yet.

Concerning this young man...I don't think that age is ever an excuse to be rude or abusive. Drop him and find someone (whatever their age) that will treat you with respect and dignity.

its not difference in biological age that is the difficult obstacle,, it is differences in emotional maturity,,,there are some 27 year old males who have more sense of responsibility and commitment in their little finger than some 50 year old men do and the same is true with women,,,,,its just not the NORM

I'd be cautious not to pick partners on mere physical attraction or age,,actually test emotional, intellectual and spiritual compatibility(which doesnt always correlate to age)


my soon to be ex is actually twenty years my senior(and Im no spring chicken...lol) and I assumed this would mean he would be mature and past the games and insecurities,,,,,boy was I ever wrong....

Lots of good advice here.

Bottom line. Age isn't the issue. I date younger all the time.

Respect IS.

I was in a LTR with a guy 1/2 my age for 3 yrs. The biggest thing that sold me on dumping him was the disrespect. No one needs that. EVER. You put up with it, it becomes YOUR issue, not his.

Should be only one word when it comes to him hon ..


((((((((((( NEXT!!! ))))))))))

I agree with many here... this seems easy to me - remove age from the equation, after doing so - is his behavior any more acceptable?

Being treated badly is not representative of one's age, but more so of their character...

To answer your original question - yes, they work all the time.

Luck to you...

When i get involved with a woman, she becomes the center of my attention. If what you put in is not =ly returned then what is the point? I have meet women that i wanted to help "be better", but it does not work. You cannot change someone, either they are or they are not a "fit" to you. You are not a "Xbox 360" that gets played because the "latest game" and then forgot about until the next game. Is there devotion between the 2 of you. Does he want to drown in your sweat from the passion? Is it REAL? Only you can decide for you.

I almost exclusively date younger guys.

A person’s mature does have some bearing on their age; however, more times than not – the individual’s integrity, sensibleness and character has little to do with their age. Look only at the individual in front of you and don't generalize.

A 50 year old man can be a complete, adolescent azzzzzz; A 23 year old man can be responsible, respectful and capable of conducting themselves in the highest regard.

If you are having trouble with an adult who is rude, and indecisive, my first inclination is to say that person is the problem – not their age.

As long as two people have the same lifestyle and similar life goals then the success of a relationship is as good as any possibility.

For example, I don't have kids or want kids; therefore, I don't date men with kids or who want kids. It's important to date only the people with whom you have a harmonious future. Don’t waste your time or their time by trying to shove a square peg into a round hole.

I wish you the best in resolving your issue.

yes. his behavior in inexcusable. Youth is not excuse, but he prolly a little too young.....

give him the space he needs to grow up, and you need tosee other people in the mean time. doesn't mean you can't get back together someday, but he needs time to figure out if he is willing to do what it takes to have a mature adult relationship, and you DESERVE a mature adult relationship. I think you should require him to be mostly or completely self supporting before you'd be willing to see him again in a relationship.

I date younger too, not that young tho, and only if he does not live at home and is employed to where he can support himself in his own place or with a roommate (in case the roommate were ever to become ME)

Word

Twenty years is an awful lot of missing commonalities ... remember, 20 years is usually considered a 'generation' ... I tried it once with a lady only 11 years younger and it was my most successful relationship ever - it only ended with her death in '08. Now I don't go much past a 5-year age difference ...